Tao Te Cutler – Ch. 3

Tao Te Cutler
TaoTeCutler
TaoTeCutler

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People mistake the soft-spoken cat as a man who does not care about the world in which he lives in. While some see this as a mark of an arrogant passionless man, others know who he is. A wise man who should be studied. Jay Cutler does not care, because Jay Cutler has transcended this reality. A man who is not hung up on your opinions or your accolades. A modern-day Buddha or Jedi. Jay Cutler has mastered the Tao and with time and understanding you too can be like Jay Cutler. We shall now read today’s teachings from the Tao Te Cutler.

 

Chapter Three

By not making himself worthy of adoration, people will not fall into dispute.
By not valuing the win or MVP, people will not become Tom Brady a cheat.
By not caring, one’s heart will not be confused.
Therefore, the governing of the saint is to empty one’s mind, substantiate one’s virtue, weaken one’s worldly ambition and strengthen one’s essence.
He lets WR’s be innocent of running the wrong routes and the blame of the interception and still stare down his targeted WR’s from the start of the play to show his trust.
Acts naturally without desire, then the game will end in its natural order as it should.

 

Please, read and meditate on the Wisdom of the Tao Te Cutler. Share on the Facebook or the Twitter or share not. Feel free to comment on your revelations or do not. The Tao Te Cutler would rather not be read than to placate to lip service. The message will spread as it should. No more, no less.

 

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury
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This is zen as fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The Zen Fuck.”

-Sting

King Hippo
Member

When I get out of this interminable cross country awards thingamabob, I am totes reading this to my cats.

Doktor Zymm
Member

One must don the plastic cone of life and deny oneself the temptation of scratching, for to pick at it is to validate it.
http://whydoesmycat.com/wp-content/media/photos/why_does_my_cat_hate_bandages.jpg

Don T
Member

Genius. And oddly soothing.

Beerguyrob
Member

A Catler of great character and strength:
Fire cannot burn him,
Water cannot drown him,
The severest road game weather does not damage him,
Wild beasts cannot rend him,
Not because he is invincible,
But because he knows safeties from danger,
He is calm and decisive even facing great risks,
He knows when to throw forward, when to roll out,
Nothing can harm such a Catler.
— Chong Tse

http://www.chicagonow.com/chicago-sports-media-watch/files/2013/04/jay-cutler-cat-216×270.jpg

blaxabbath
Member

Is it not our job to put the ball in the end zone, be it in the grasps of a wide receiver or a defensive back?

Duchess
Member

The end zone is neutral, it knows not the labels WE thrust upon it. For once we stop defining the end zone to fit our ideals we too will walk the Way of the Catler.

nomonkeyfun
Member

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called…
http://media.giphy.com/media/TlK63EMwifcRJf42hDW/giphy.gif

-The Catler, from Zen and the Art of Quarterback Maintenance

jjfozz
Member

TO BE THE CATLER YOU HAVE TO ENVISION WHAT IT IS TO BE THE CATLER. AND THEN YOU GRAB IT AND YOU SAY I AM THE CATLER AND EVEN THOUGH THE TA OF THE CATLER IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS! YOU MUST CONTINUE TO GRASP AND LOOK AT THE MAN NEXT TO YOU AND RISE UP! FOR WE ARE ALL CATLER!

-Ray Lewis after his conversion to the Church of Catler.

Duchess
Member

The Church of Catler knows no place of worship for the Catler is everywhere, and yet nowhere. For it is in the absence of the Catler do we truly know what it is like to be in its presence.

Beerguyrob
Member

From the Holy letter of Raymond to the Defendants Oakley and Sweeting:

1. ON MAINTAINING YOUR BLESSED RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CATLER:

2. IF THE CATLER TRIES TO LEAVE YOU, YOU STAB IT.

3. IF THE CATLER EVADED YOUR COVERAGE, BUT RETURNS TO YOU EMPTY-HANDED, YOU STAB IT.

4. IF THE CATLER EVADED YOUR COVERAGE, BUT RETURNS TO YOU WITH THE HARVEST BOUNTY,

5. A PICKED-SIX,

6. YOU ACCEPT THAT GIFT AS A SIGN THAT THE CATLER IS PLEASED WITH YOUR DEVOTION.

7. THEN YOU STAB IT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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The Zen master Jay Cutler was praised by his neighbours as one living a pure life.

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near him. Suddenly, without any warning, her parents discovered she was with child.

This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Cutler.

In great anger the parents went to the master. “Is that so?” was all he would say.

After the child was born it was brought to Cutler. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child*. He obtained milk from his neighbours and everything else he needed.

A year later the girl-mother could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth – the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fishmarket.

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Cutler to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.

Cutler was willing. In yielding the child, all he said was: “Do you think this guy could get me some free fish?”

*aside from failing to provide it with the proper vaccinations

Duchess
Member

The child will get sick or it will not. The way of the Catler will be what is shall be.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Member

Tune in next week for Siddhartha McCown’s third sutra, “Life Is Suffering (In Cleveland)”

Duchess
Member

Is it the Factory that doth make the Sadness or does the Sadness make the Factory sadder?

Why Thank You Eddie
Member
Why Thank You Eddie

What is sound of one paw clapping?

Duchess
Member

When you hear the soundless sound you too will know the way of the Catler

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

If an electric can opener is operated in the woods and there is no one there to hear it and come running and rub against your legs and meow insistently, does it make a sound?

Beerguyrob
Member

A Jaguars home game?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

This is very good.