Det @ GB: Detroit hasn’t won a game in Cheese Country since 1991-that’s 23 straight times the Lions have hitch-hiked back home with a sour look on their faces. Megatron is questionable and DB Mathis is gone for the year which is strange. He had concussion symptoms then he didn’t then he did again and now he’s been thrown onto the IR. There’s more to this story of The Tell-Tale Brain. Starks gets the start and with the Lions allowing 5 yards per rush so far this year look for him to have a good ‘un. For the betting folk, the Packers are 17-5-1 versus the spread against the Lions when at home.
Dal @ TB: Six straight losses and counting-How ‘Bout Them Cowboys? Dez went off two separate times in the locker room this week because, according to Dallas apologists, he’s “a super passionate leader-type fella and totally not a thin-skinned hothead that can’t stand criticism”. At least this team has stability at the QB spot (nope), the “star” spot (nope, nope) and the ownership spot (hell naw!). Winston has now gone 4 games without an intercept while the Boys QB’s have thrown 5 in total during the same stretch. Tampa has re-jiggered their D and it has improved. How are the Bucs not favoured in this game?
Car @ Ten: The Panthers are trying to put together their very first nine-game win streak. Cam’s numbers aren’t that great-53.7 completion %, 11 TO’s and a not-sparkling 50 QBR. I blame Ginn. Despite these stats I think they’ll win against a Titans team that brings a certain something to this game. That something is…………a coaching change? I think that’s all they got.
Chi @ StL: The spread here is 7 but I think it’ll be closer. Cutler has a 108 passer rating on third downs and the Rams have 10 sacks on passing third downs. Jeffrey and Forte are listed as questionable. Looks as though Chip Kelly and everyone else except Jeff Fisher were right about QB Foles. In this pass-friendly league this wunderbear has gone over 200 yards once. ONCE! That’s not 300. That’s 200. How many times has he thrown for 2 or more scores? ONCE! And now he has to do without the calm, steady presence of Steadman Bailey. [sarcasm detector goes off] Poor guy.
NO @ Was: Cousins gets to play in the Saints secondary. For QB’s it’s a relatively contact-free Wonderland where you can do…pretty much anything your silly little heart desires with no consequences whatsoever. On O the Saints have been so impressed with the play of RB Spiller that they gave him 2 carries last week and signed Tim Hightower off the scrap heap this week. The Slurs led the league in rushing thru weeks 1-4 and have failed to reach 60 yards since. That’s four straight games of abject failure. The last team to do this in five straight was-you guessed it-the 1940 Eagles.
Mia @ Phi: This is a scorching matchup featuring the last and second-last possessors of the league’s worst QBR’s. After running for 40 yards in his pro debut, look for Fins RB Ajayi to get worked into the rush game a wee bit more. For Philly it all comes down to the question posed by Bleeding Green Nation bloggers Dave Mangel and Patrick Wall-“Will the Eagles can make next week’s three of them in a row?” I don’t but doubt they can will. Never has a fan base been so happy to eke out a win in overtime game against a 2-5 team.
Cle @ Pit: Johnny is expected to get the start today. Want to know how to maintain a sh*t franchise? Take a page out of the Browns playbook. Once you’ve assembled a dearth of talent, have the coach not play the GM’s guys. Reportedly Pettine was not happy with the drafting of Manziel and loathes playing/supporting him. In turn he is not giving RB Johnson, who is a Farmer “guy” a fair opportunity. Well done, sucky organization! “Sources” have said that Ben will be the backup to Jones today. Whoo boy, WR Brown is getting matched up against CB Desir who has no Int’s and all of 5 passes defensed this season.
Jax @ Bal: The 2-6 Jags feel that their entire season rides on this game. This seems ludicrous on the surface but you don’t swim in the vile muck that is the AFC South, do you? If any lousy team could pull off a completely impossible 8 game win streak it would have to be Jacksonville though, wouldn’t it? How’d you like to be WR Chris Givens of the Ravens? He was an afterthought on the Rams roster a few weeks ago and now he’s the go-to guy in what could be called the Baltimore passing game. Lucky guy.
Nice D, Breaux.
This is actually interesting commentary about Tomlin and the Yinzers here.
God I hated that band…
She chews with her goddamn mouth open. Biggest deal breaker of the day.
I have a low tolerance for motor mouths, regardless of gender.
OK that’s a deal breaker.
At this point, I think if you walked up to her and screamed at her what an uncouth barely-civilized human she is, you’ll end up with the chance to destroy her ladyparts in a bathroom stall.
HARF
Matt Forte, welcome to Wally Pipp’s world.
I think I had picked up Langford and then dropped him a few weeks in to make room for some position I had to fill.
In hindsight I chose…poorly.
So according to Closed Captioning, the Pittsburgh team is called the “Stoelrz”.
The Bears, without Forte, are pwning Fisher’s and Greggggggg’s dirty shit.
I should not be a connoisseur/expert on punting, but there has been some quality footy thus far.
And SHIT, are the Bears actually GOOD now??
No. No. Noooooooo.
..
Right?
Landry just penalized for taunting someone on the Eagles names “Biggers”
Any one care to guess what the refs thought they heard?
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cow123/Naggers.png
LOL GREGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Barely 5 YPA for Rodgers against the Lions. Jeebus.
Grumblings on the Factory production floor amid rumors of working during Thanksgiving Break.
The spice/sadness must flow
Cassel does an excellent job of throwing out of bounds.
NOW you don’t suck, Dallas D.
Game’s not over yet Hippo.
Pirates 14 Indians 3
14-3. Insurmountable Steelers lead!
“It’s a late hit and certainly helmet to helmet, but I’m not sure that should have been called a penalty, Joe.”
Almost Deadshawn Jackson.
Finally a little excitement in DAL/TB.
“Titans-Jags Thursday night! Let’s see how desperate you really are!”
I think I’ll watch the New Girl marathon on CW instead.
I know I will be there, and extra pilled up! GET HYPE!!!!
We got a close track meet here at Heinz Field with Cleveland’s -1 rushing yards barely edging out Pittsburgh’s -3 rushing yards.
I have to pull for the Pats tonight. I feel so…soooooo dirty.
You know there are people who are convinced that the Bud Light that comes in their favorite team’s can tastes way better than the Bud Light in the other cans.
These are also the people who think Trump or Carson would make a good President.
You’re referring to people with severe brain damage, right?
That venn diagram is a single circle.
I admit I thought Carson was good in his first debate, but he hasn’t convinced me after that.
I always felt that Trump can eat shit.
Zach Miller, rendering Black Unicorn fantasy owners irrelevant since 2015.
Greggggggg gonna Gregggggggg
Browns defense: http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/3/3e/Black_space.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140830141235
I wonder if the Saints have heard about this new thing called tackling.
How much money do you think it would take for The Rog to make December “Hail Satan” month?
I smell a DFO fund raiser coming
I’m in. I have $8 in my pocket right now.
“What’s going on with the pass defense in the NFL, Kenny?”
-wilfully ignorant Darryl Johnston
Just saw Jimmy Clausen with a mustache please kill me
That girl has not closed her mouth yet. I haven’t watched as she took a drink, but I’ll put money on half of it dribbling down her chin.
Are we not doing “phrasing” any more?
ARE WE SERIOUSLY NOT DOING PHRASING ANY MORE
Battle of the Uprights in Tampa Bay.
Uprights are winning
Fans are losing.
Jay Cutler lines up a wide receiver?
WHAT’S GOT INTO THAT CAT?
http://www.adweek.com/files/meow-mix-lazer-01b.gif
I know we all love him, and for damn good reasons, but how the hell does Rob Ryan keep getting jobs?
He knows the favourite hookers of every NFL GM and most of the owners
My brother, the Saints fan says the same thing every week.
Does the phrase “compromising photos” mean anything to you. What am saying? Of course it does.
Guy just walked in wearing all Notre Dame gear. I think he’s confused as to what day it is.
Nah, front-running assholes are that way 24/7
Are you sure it’s not Brian Kelly on a quick recruiting trip? Look for dead students around the guy; if there are any it’s probably Kelly.
“Only four kids? Rookie…”
-Jay Cutler
“Kneel before Lazerface!”
“Man, I wish…”
Travis Henry
Manziel almost that Loki slammed.
http://reactiongifs.me/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/the-avengers-angry-hulk-smash-loki.gif
I don’t think necks are supposed to turn as far as his did……
Looks like there may be a basketball score in Fed Ex at the end of the game since neither defensive unit bothered to come out of the tunnel today.
Didn’t the Griz already play the Warriors?
The skill player I have in the Saints/Slurs pinball fixture has a big fat goddamned doughnut.
Goddammit. Does Chicago literally have no one else that can return a kick?
Last offense on the field wins in the NO/Was tilt.
So Drew Brees and Kirk Cousins are going to try and top Drew Brees and Eli Manning today.
Defense, a once proud creature, is extinct in the NFC
It’s stuffed head is on the wall of Goodell’s office.
Referee: “After reviewing the play, the Browns did force a turnover. I’m just as surprised as you are. First Down, Cleveland!”
Will it mattter they’ll only throw it away
If Greg Hardy sacks Jameis Winston, is it possible for both the explode?
The only attractive woman in this place just walked in, with her goddamn yinzer parents, and she looks to be about 21 and a mouth-breather, to boot.
I will remember this for next time.
I am so sorry.
You lost me at Yinzer parents.
Attractive, 21, in a bar, dumb AND a football fan? WTF are you complaining about?
YINZER PARENTS.
Holy shit her mom looks like a crazier Sarah Palin. What the fuck, PA?
Ain’t easy to out-crazy Sarah Palin.
A “crazier Sarah Palin”? One word: ANAL
You know, that may be a factor in your favor.
Ouch. Mouth-breathers are bad because it means they’ll probably suffocate before they can get you off with a blowjob.
“Does she have a long neck?”
-Moose
Brooks is killing me this week. Goddamn it, Washington.
And by Brooks, I mean Brandon Cooks.
Browns..do a good?
Eh, 50/50 Stillers did a bad.
What up my glip glops? Finally finished changing the water in the fish tank and the oil in my car and, for once, didn’t manage to mix up the two. Bought some fish and a Mexican Coke, grilled the fish and kicked my kids off the computer and TV.
Day well lived!
I also had fish and am drinking MexiCoke! Soul brother!!
/couldn’t change own oil if life depended on it
Power brother.
Oil changes are easy if you’re OK with a mess. When it gets colder I’ll go back to the dealership but it’s honestly just easier to do it in the driveway, (that’s what she said!), then go through all the hassle of getting an appointment during the week etc. Costs about the same too.
I thought Zack Ertz was going to break out this year and that Celek was about ready to be put out to pasture. I am not a smart person.
In my money auction league I grabbed him with the same thought but also spent a ton of money on Graham “in case” it didn’t work out. I am not a smart person.
I will vote for anyone who wants to ban the Ford commercials, even Ben Carson.
“You’re fired. What do you mean, ‘I can’t fire a commenter?’ Whoever told me that is fired.”
-Martha Ford
Needs more ‘Matlock’ Scotchy.