Your “Week Ten Already?” Early Slate of Games Thread

Det @ GB: Detroit hasn’t won a game in Cheese Country since 1991-that’s 23 straight times the Lions have hitch-hiked back home with a sour look on their faces. Megatron is questionable and DB Mathis is gone for the year which is strange. He had concussion symptoms then he didn’t then he did again and now he’s been thrown onto the IR. There’s more to this story of The Tell-Tale Brain. Starks gets the start and with the Lions allowing 5 yards per rush so far this year look for him to have a good ‘un. For the betting folk, the Packers are 17-5-1 versus the spread against the Lions when at home.

Dal @ TB: Six straight losses and counting-How ‘Bout Them Cowboys? Dez went off two separate times in the locker room this week because, according to Dallas apologists, he’s “a super passionate leader-type fella and totally not a thin-skinned hothead that can’t stand criticism”. At least this team has stability at the QB spot (nope), the “star” spot (nope, nope) and the ownership spot (hell naw!). Winston has now gone 4 games without an intercept while the Boys QB’s have thrown 5 in total during the same stretch. Tampa has re-jiggered their D and it has improved. How are the Bucs not favoured in this game?

Car @ Ten: The Panthers are trying to put together their very first nine-game win streak. Cam’s numbers aren’t that great-53.7 completion %, 11 TO’s and a not-sparkling 50 QBR. I blame Ginn. Despite these stats I think they’ll win against a Titans team that brings a certain something to this game. That something is…………a coaching change? I think that’s all they got.

Chi @ StL: The spread here is 7 but I think it’ll be closer. Cutler has a 108 passer rating on third downs and the Rams have 10 sacks on passing third downs. Jeffrey and Forte are listed as questionable. Looks as though Chip Kelly and everyone else except Jeff Fisher were right about QB Foles. In this pass-friendly league this wunderbear has gone over 200 yards once. ONCE! That’s not 300. That’s 200. How many times has he thrown for 2 or more scores? ONCE! And now he has to do without the calm, steady presence of Steadman Bailey. [sarcasm detector goes off] Poor guy.

NO @ Was: Cousins gets to play in the Saints secondary. For QB’s it’s a relatively contact-free Wonderland where you can do…pretty much anything your silly little heart desires with no consequences whatsoever. On O the Saints have been so impressed with the play of RB Spiller that they gave him 2 carries last week and signed Tim Hightower off the scrap heap this week. The Slurs led the league in rushing thru weeks 1-4 and have failed to reach 60 yards since. That’s four straight games of abject failure. The last team to do this in five straight was-you guessed it-the 1940 Eagles.

Mia @ Phi: This is a scorching matchup featuring the last and second-last possessors of the league’s worst QBR’s. After running for 40 yards in his pro debut, look for Fins RB Ajayi to get worked into the rush game a wee bit more. For Philly it all comes down to the question posed by Bleeding Green Nation bloggers Dave Mangel and Patrick Wall-“Will the Eagles can make next week’s three of them in a row?” I don’t but doubt they can will. Never has a fan base been so happy to eke out a win in overtime game against a 2-5 team.

Cle @ Pit: Johnny is expected to get the start today. Want to know how to maintain a sh*t franchise? Take a page out of the Browns playbook. Once you’ve assembled a dearth of talent, have the coach not play the GM’s guys. Reportedly Pettine was not happy with the drafting of Manziel and loathes playing/supporting him. In turn he is not giving RB Johnson, who is a Farmer “guy” a fair opportunity. Well done, sucky organization! “Sources” have said that Ben will be the backup to Jones today. Whoo boy, WR Brown is getting matched up against CB Desir who has no Int’s and all of 5 passes defensed this season.

Jax @ Bal: The 2-6 Jags feel that their entire season rides on this game. This seems ludicrous on the surface but you don’t swim in the vile muck that is the AFC South, do you? If any lousy team could pull off a completely impossible 8 game win streak it would have to be Jacksonville though, wouldn’t it? How’d you like to be WR Chris Givens of the Ravens? He was an afterthought on the Rams roster a few weeks ago and now he’s the go-to guy in what could be called the Baltimore passing game. Lucky guy.

 

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Smithchez

Oh, Nacho. Will you ever learn?

John Difool

Phi-LOL-Delphia

Romonobyl
Bortleback

Is……is that a man in drag? Serious jawline if it isn’t.

So Packers have had enough of McCarthy and want to get him fired.

Smithchez

Did somebody drug the Packers? What the hell happened to them?

It’s El Shitbox time

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ravens fans should be more embarrassed than usual.

John Difool

Who would you rather have in a 2 minute drill, 1 point down? Bradford or Nacho?

fleshwound_NPG

punt

Bortleback

Wildcat with a one legged RB

Redshirt

Alternating between fake punts and fake field goals with the occasional fake spike here and there.

Former C-G-U-O

This is like the NFL equivalent of the Rosie O’Donnell/Ruth Bader Ginsburg/Melissa McCarthy FMK.

Smithchez

Holy shit, listening to sports radio in Baltimore this week is gonna be a must.

King Hippo

JAGURAS OF DESTINY

Romonobyl

Only in Japan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey; we could use a penis holiday in this country too.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Unreal

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Holy Shit, Detroit’s gonna win!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axr3hqsy9Ng

JustStopDude

Wow…there are going to be a lot of fat white people rioting in Lambeau…and not over free gravy!

Smithchez

LOLTIMORE!

King Hippo

That may be the dumbest thing I have ever seen.

King Hippo

DOOOOOOMMMMMM DEEEERRRRRRPPPPPP

Romonobyl

I can’t believe I wasted all that time with DAL/TB when I could have been having:
comment image

Redshirt

Wow. Packers D must have though it was touch football.

Don T

Dear King Hippo:
.
.
.
I should celebrate orher aspects of life. I hope the Donks win as well.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bFH3JdzA8uE

Former C-G-U-O

It’s Jimmy Clausen time. And for the first time ever I’m not upset by that.

fleshwound_NPG

…and his amazing mustache.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A young Mila Kunis does a completely fucking creepy comercial early in here career:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/dd4142bef03e5bc96732e161ac2d2466/tumblr_n6czho99T01qf5do9o1_400.gif

Now look who she’s married to; COINCIDENCE?!?!

Romonobyl

Why is there some kind of wire on that huge phone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s charging?

Redshirt

Very close to a holding in the end zone.

King Hippo

It’s nice to see that Nacho is still in vintage form despite the long layoff.

King Hippo

BAZINGA!

Former C-G-U-O

Jeremy Langford proving why you don’t waste early draft picks on running backs. I think he already has had a more productive career than Curtis Enis and Rashaan Salaam.

Smithchez

Oh sweet, sweet Nacho. I’ve missed that look of endless despair.

fleshwound_NPG

FOLESCEPTION

Redshirt

That’s the Mark Sanchez we know and love.

Gratliff

e gs 46ur6kjky7dt5jrs nrs6rx5dts 57

Moonbatting Average

Prediction: Romo comes back next week, plays really well, Cowboys play themselves out of a top 10 draft pick, I make fun of my wife about it, wife strangles me in my sleep

Bortleback

It’d be worth the satisfaction you’d get from the Cowboys continually fucking themselves in every way possible

John Difool

LOL Sanchez

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

NACHOCEPTION!

Senor Weaselo

Nachoception!

King Hippo

Wow, if Dez tries instead of whines…TD. Contact quite minimal.

Romonobyl

He’ll deserve every negative comment he gets tomorrow.

blackroseMD1

That was the only way this TB/Dallas game could have ended.

The Maestro

HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA COWBOYS

King Hippo

YES

ThursdaySkyGoddess

BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Casslol

Spur

Raise your hand if you have been emotionally abused by the Dallas Cowboys.

Bortleback

Raise both hands if it has been at the hands of Greg Hardy

Romonobyl

Not enough hands.

Gratliff

Wow, Dolphins. Just forfeit why don’t you?

King Hippo

Is this the worst game ever played?

The Maestro

Yes.

Romonobyl

Easily.

Spur

Week 2, Cowboys at Eagles was worst.

Redshirt

Which one?

King Hippo

HOLY SHIT BUCS

JustStopDude

Who wants to be that Caldwell is not going to have the Lions special teams ready for an onside kick?

Spur

Season is over, just sit Romo and Dez for the year

Romonobyl

Yup.

JustStopDude

So not only is Rogers sucking today, he is actively trying to get his receivers killed.

Also, the officials would have called that a drop half the time.

King Hippo

OK, so THAT was a catch? I really just dunno anything anymore

Bortleback

Getting a concussion while being tackled must count as a football move

King Hippo

CasselVANIA 50 second drill REDUX…coming right up!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Been tuning out, how the hell are the Lions beating the Packers?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

End of the world
comment image

blackroseMD1

By giving sacrifices to Satan after every practice this past week.

blackroseMD1

“We’ll show it to you for real.”

Really? As opposed to showing us the penalty via CGI?

This announcer is drunk.

Don T

If 6-10 wins the AFC South, a Super Bowl win will get that team to .500.
Even my wildest dreams reek of suck. Fuck.

King Hippo

Bet they hand off 3 fucking times