Stupid window crashed on me and I am typing this for a second time. Like it was even very good the first time, for fuck’s sake.
Browns at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)
Better late than never? I suppose the SeaTruthers can take up that rallying cry, after a rash of RB injuries and meh defensive work forced them to reluctantly become a passing team. And, much like at every other non-bedroom step in his prolific career, the Charmslinger has been up to the task. I have nothing new to say about the clownshow that is The Factory. Like my dead pappy used to say, “it is what it is.”
Packers at Raiders (4:05, Fox)
One franchise on its way up, the other on its way down (though Rodgers remains exceptional). A pretty fascinating matchup, I wish this had been flexed to SNF instead of the silly Bird Battle. Great shootout potential, too.
Broncos at Steelers (4:25, CBS)
Today’s featured fixture, for certain, with immense implications for the playoff race (even at 11 wins, there will be one chair too few for the Jets, Chefs, Stillers, and Donks) and for homefield. Denver absolutely has to win this week or next (home vs. Cincy) or they are royally fucked, as would then lose any and all tiebreakers. I have a really bad feeling about this one, as The Ben looks like he has been promised all the Choco Tacos he can eat of late.
Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)
Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! Speaking of spinners…wonder if we will see screenshots of AJ McCarron’s bae? You know Brent Musberger will be watching.
Dolphins at Chargers (4:25, CBS)
Probably will be on constant loop at Gitmo all week. DO SOMETHING, AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL!!
I want to a Play 60 commercial where they feature some ST gunner huddling with the kids.
“Yeah, just stay in your lane but this will be fun. I’ll toss the ball to Julie and the other six of you run at her at full speed and attempt to blow her up. Ok? Break!”
This is a commercial I didn’t know I needed.
Time to go eat pretzles
Don’t George Bush it
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–VzyDT-Ok–/b60qwepntdabzfcn9zhb.jpg
Fred Ex 1 handed Sunday delivery
Fox is showing fucking TMZ instead of football.
I’d be streaming something, even if it gave my laptop computer ebola
Apparently a new Star Wars movie came out recently. Hadn’t heard. Must be one of those VOD affairs or something.
Sponsored by a one day fantasy company who’s name escapes me due to lack of advertising.
Don’t you watch car commercials?
“Breaking: Manziel viciously attacks referee.”
What bar was this in?
Sluggers. Right next to Centurylink Field
Wagner sacked the umpire and JFF combined
Does that still count as one?
Good evening. Has everybody here also spend all afternoon talking about how much AJ McCarron could be the next Tom Brady like the TV people have been?
Too busy hearing all about how amazing JFF has played
In that he has a tall, hot significant other?
I just rewatched the Musberger Catherine Webb thing, it is still fantastic.
He doesn’t, but his wife does.
“What a good incompletion”
— Fox guy about JFF
How about the *checks box* wow, no picks?
JFF getting slobbered by Brennaman. Getting awfully close to gritty
What happened to Osweiler? I guess I missed that.
Hurt his left shoulder awkwardly handing off.
Is the only game on the Denver/Pitt game for the rest of the country? I ask because I am watching GB/Oak but I am up by GB
Yup.
The Best of Colin Cowherd 2015 is on FOX is you’re interested!
You know who else thought he was the best?
Nope, we got that before gb/oak (crossflex b.s.).
Unless he is getting mercilessly beat with a stick for an hour, I will stay with this game.
Cleveland at Seattle is on
Lessons In Asswhooperism.
Why not take a shot at the end zone there?
The Broncos’ emergency quarterback is Owen Daniels, by the way.
SNAKEDICK!
/would have guessed Sanders
The line wasn;t set there. Fucking refs.
You know what’s good?
Fresh, hand-pulled buffalo mozzarella and sun dried tomatoes on grilled garlic bread.
That’s what’s good, and almost gone already.
Add proscuitto and I would eat that everyday
Pretty sure that last pass was intended for Martavis.
In all seriousness, Antonio Brown is fucking brilliant. Got out of bounds. That was slick.
That were some shitty non-pressure and non-coverage there
Eh, it’s not a head owie or his throwing arm, we’re still allowed to shoot him up and stick him back on the field WOO
WHY OH WHY CAN I NOT BE FREE OF THIS INFERNAL TREVOR SIEMIAN
“Bengals at 49ers (4:25, CBS)
Don’t forget to ask about Tomsula’s sign spinning discounts! ”
Yes! Recognition!!!
They said it on the broadcast?
I will still be chuckling about that on my deathbed.
Must be at that mall that straddles Santa Clara and San Jose.
Straddling Santa might get you on his good list.
STOP ME BEFORE I BLITZ AGAIN
The 2011 AFC Wild Card Game
Fuck BMO Harris. They bought out M&I and have been the worst bank I have ever dealt with since. (commercial not a random rant)
THE OSTRICH HAS A BROKEN WING
Bring in… uh, who’s the third-string QB for the Donks anyway?
Still better than TEEEBBOOOWWW
How will he be flightless now!?
No worries, we have a guy who split time at Northwestern, he MUST be fucking good.
These games are grittier than a poorly cleaned mussel
Another QB down?
So ends the magic carpet ride for THE FLOW
What now?
http://36.media.tumblr.com/1e39297653776f37b10d01d19288580d/tumblr_nz0hm6ELSO1syvjuco1_400.jpg
Tebow’s been mentioned more times in this game than Manning has.
The Chiefs and Jets won this week, the Steelers completely forgot they needed to keep pace.
Stillers-Donks only game on here. FOX is airing, “The Best of The Herd 2015.” Yes, a recap of the “best” of Colin Cowherd this year.
oh god
That isn’t a thing. He has been there like 2 weeks.
That should take about 8 seconds
That’s what she said.
I, too, am getting that.
I’d rather watch…..anything.
Icepicks? Meet ears.
Big deal, I have 32 seconds to spare.
This broke my laptop!
Ok, it was me I reflexively punched the screen; it’s only natural, right?
Niners are a rumblin and a bumblin
De- De- De- DeMAryious
So who’s with me to Rivebrog the colorized I Love Lucy prime time broadcast that is seriously happening in 2015?
Can we all drink when she does?
Demaryius WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I see dudes playing football at the park where I play pick up soccer. Except they aren’t playing football, they’re like doing drills. And not individual drills where everyone in the group is doing high knees or lining up to hit the sled. It’s like a qb and seven receivers. And so the qb stands there and one guy runs like a post route and the qb throws it to him. Then the wr runs like another 15 yards straight ahead before jogging back to the qb and handing him the ball. This all happens uncontested while the other six receivers just stand around bullshitting or whatever.
These men are adults so I don’t really get it.
Pittsburgh strategy of tiring Denver out in the first half working to perfection
I Love Lucy Special on CBS, for that 81-96 demo
OOOOOOOOHHHHHH RICKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
I cannot wait for Pft commenters mmbm tomorrow. It will be a gritty extravaganza
Laserfacedown
So Gritty!
If they speed things up this game might end by Tuesday.
Pretty sure Matt Stafford has diabetes. So it makes sense he is in the Pepsi commercial.
Just thought he had gigantism like Ken Griffey Jr. in the Simposons
Not content with simply not covering Denver’s receivers, the Steeler defense has decided to give the Broncos’ running game a try.
It takes real effort to make Hillman look good like that.
They’re equal opportunity defenders.
Much easier to let 1 guy run open and free than 3 or 4.
Hello. Just finished a kombucha bottling marathon. Only getting DEN/PIT here.
Hippie!
20 points in the first half. Pittsburghs defense has really improved.
It’s not Scottish:
http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m111/farkmerunnin/Fark/scotland-bagpipes-hrnk.jpg
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xgzfxs_if-it-s-not-scottish-it-s-crap_shortfilms
Is crap!
BLEERGH has no East Coast bias!
But the servants of Bleergh do, specifically a northeast bias.
Tomsula bludgeons those challenges
Third down defense: how does it work?
Keep leaving Sanders open, eventually they’ll go to someone else!
Totally differently from magnets.
As soon as you TOUCH Ronnie Hillman…he down
I feel like that talent would be good in other oldest professions