Your Happy Scrappy 4PM Slate Open Thread

TB @ Car: And lo! What have we here? Another game that means nada. Looking at the Panthers over the last couple of games you can see some Parcells-approved chinks in their armour. The loss to Atl, the squeaker vs. the Giants and t’udder close call against the Saints indicate that Carolina is somewhat vulnerable. Or more likely, they just need to re-focus. And what better team to do that against than the “lost last 4 of 5” Tampa Bucs?

Oak @ KC: I’m just not feeling this one. KC’s rolling and the Raiders, despite showing great promise for the next few years, are circling the drain. Maybe these guys can channel their inner ’90’s tendency to knock the stuffing out of each other and we end up with a watchable game.

SD @ Den: Can not wait to see S Weddle play today! Wait. What? He was placed on IR? He was fined 10K for watching his daughter perform at half-time? He showed up the team’s medical staff by running sprints in front of reporters? When will this San Diego-appropriate madness end!?!?!? This is most likely the last time you’ll see WR Floyd and TE Gates so drink that all in. Rivers will probably end up forcing the ball into both of them making it that much easier for 1.) the Denver D to win this game on its own and 2.) Chargers management to say goodbye to HC McCoy on Monday.

Sea @ Den: This should be a good one. Over the last six games these two squadrons are 1 and 2 in yards gained per game. The difference could be that during that same time the Cards are +11 in turnover margin. PFF’s number one FS, Arizona’s Mathieu ran into the worst three letters in the alphabet that an active football player could-ACL. CTE being the worst three that a retired player could run into. But really, they wouldn’t be the Cards if they didn’t have a significant player go down with a season-ender, would they?

StL @ SF: BRRRRR! Do you feel a draft? So do these guys.

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Doktor Zymm

I think I’m gonna have Korean-Ethiopian-Creole food for dinner tonight.

ThePirateSloth

How is that combination even possible? That’s like flavor overload. And I want it.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve been making injera dough over the last few days, and I made kimchi which should be aged about right now. I’m probably gonna use a pre-seasoned rice and beans mix that I’ve had sitting around, top it with kimchi and a fried egg, and eat it with injera.

ThePirateSloth

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Romonobyl

I thought most Ethiopian food arrived in 50 pound burlap sacks…

Recovery Whiskey

Lane-ception. And not injured on the runback

ThePirateSloth

Did someone secretly replace Carson Palmer with Philip Rivers to see if anyone noticed?

litre_cola

Well the religious right is quite prevalent in Phoenix.

Redshirt

Chargers you sons of… highly respectable women!!!!

King Hippo

goddamnit Sanders

Romonobyl

Horsey goes oopsie.

fleshwound_NPG
Romonobyl

I can only imagine the chemistry set running through his veins.

JustStopDude

You know who did a great job representing North Carolina and wasn’t a glory boy, me first kind of idiot. Someone wholesome, that your kids could look up to?

This guy!

http://media1.giphy.com/media/sWBOpINwXnW7K/200.gif

Take note Cam…

Gratliff

How amazing would it be if Cam Newton just started cutting promos instead of answering questions?

Old School Zero

I see the Seahawks are wearing their Dirty White color uniform.

Old School Zero

Wet Paper Towel Gray

ThePirateSloth

It’s the “Grit And Determination” White uniforms, thank you very much.

Old School Zero

Seattle Winter Skyline

Bortleback

Where did you get that picture of Von Miller?

Sharkbait

Why hello number 2 seed. Thy name is Chargers derpage.

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude
Redshirt

Tom Coughlin: Who told you I’m quitting? Screw you, guys! I’m going home!

Spur

Am I the only one who wants to see Gurley stiff arm or truck one of the kids in that play 60 commercial?

King Hippo

just one?

King Hippo

Naturally, Pheel thinks the Pats basically let the other teams win down the stretch.

evilbeaver8

“Demariyus Thomas will be ruled out of bounds, and it will be San Diego ball”
-Mike Carey

Doktor Zymm

So, apparently this particular event at the Angola prison rodeo, consists of turning a wild bull onto a poker game.

Redshirt

Does Peyton Manning even know how to be a backup?

ThursdaySkyGoddess
ThursdaySkyGoddess

MACLINDOWN!!!

fleshwound_NPG

Impressive very, very early don’t-give-a-shittery by San Diego.

fleshwound_NPG

“There’s been an awakening, have you felt it?”

https://twitter.com/P1Domo/status/683760705946939392

Old School Zero

So much plastic and PEDs right there.

Old School Zero

Apparently the CBS reception is iffy right now, but it came in clear enough to show a Bronco trotting into the end zone.

ThePirateSloth

CBS still isn’t streaming their games? At least Fox finally is.

ThePirateSloth
JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh sweet. I got the Panthers game. Let’s see how Cam makes football fun on the professional level and then I will gripe and bitch about it, all the while murdering the English language, like a white sports writer.

Recovery Whiskey

Grit and leadership.

...

We actually reached Peak White Sportswriter last night when Murray Chass compared sabermetrics to ISIS.

Really. He did that.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I still can’t believe that Fitzpatrick threw 3 picks in ONE quarter! THREE!

Doktor Zymm

I’m just gonna say a big FUCK YOU to all week 17 injuries. Playoff team or no, that’s gotta suck extra hard.

evilbeaver8

Look at the Chargers….all giving not a shit at once.

Redshirt

Are you fucking kidding me?!

JustStopDude

Welp…that was fast…the Chargers are NOT fucking around with this derping…

fleshwound_NPG

Oh Bolts.

Recovery Whiskey

SB XLIX reference. Drink. Seahawks not playing well meme. Drink.

Slow down Joe and Troy

evilbeaver8

At least a Donks win will screw the Pats and Rivers. So…yeah….yay Osweiler.

fleshwound_NPG

The “FOX Game of the Week” is a meaningless Raidaaahs/Chefs game.

fleshwound_NPG

*though not totally meaningless if the Chargers do anything, ANYTHING worth a shit.

ThePirateSloth

So it snowed in Portland. This is an accurate depiction of my puppy all morning.

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/1d/1d800542fbfd8b304192470faa7d65b220397f8c6ec5eb26e49034086b1ed4cf.jpg

Redshirt

Is there any chance in hell that the Charger upset the Broncos or should I prepare myself for a rubber match with the Steelers?

http://iambrony.steeph.tp-radio.de/mlp/gif/436115__safe_solo_twilight+sparkle_animated_cute_twilight+snapple_lesson+zero_puddle_bench_adorkable.gif

fleshwound_NPG

Troll Genius lost, was 12/21 for 134. In two weeks, he will be 34/38 for 455, because Troll Genius

...

So I have to root for the Donks to hurt the P*ts, right?

Gratliff

Yeah! Suck it Cowboys!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh Jets, where is thy sting?

fleshwound_NPG

You know your conference is ass when the most dangerous teams in said confrence are either coached by Andy Reid or coordinated by Boss Todd.

Sharkbait

Killing time before star wars at a bar just in time to see the fins win. What is this fuckery?

evilbeaver8

Do the Bengals have any chance at the one-seed, or is it automatically the Pats if the Donks lose?

ballsofsteelandfury

Either Pats or Donks. No other option.

Redshirt

Bengals don’t own tiebreaker against the Patriots (fuckin’ Texans).

makeitsnowondem

So Denver somehow, implausibly, has a shot at the #1 seed.

Sharkbait

Sigh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

Somehow, the Steelers will end up on top of this turd pile–just you wait.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would suck, but if the Donks can’t beat them at home they deserve it.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-VJ-53EB_6Ys/TyzfS_brTtI/AAAAAAAADcI/nds8TpQ0zs8/s1600/82236892.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Bloody Lethal

Same same.

Sill Bimmons

First order the porn, then Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

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Bloody Lethal

So does Deadspin really need to post videos of every head/neck injury in every sport moments after they happen?

...

It’s about all they’re good for anymore.

Bortleback

They’re also a good source for finding out how drunk Johnny Drinkball is at any particular time, too

bourb0nblues

Good news – the shoulder injury sustained by my drunk ass on NYE is not as bad as first thought.
Bad news – I need the Cardinals to cover the spread.

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