Your “City of Charlotte Shuts Down For The Game And Nobody Notices” Open Thread

After watching Arizony blurp their way to victory yesterday I’m saying that the winner of this game is the NFC champ. It looks like RB Lynch is back on the field today. The usual fart-makers that must talk about things are wondering if he’ll be ‘ready’. Hmm, do you think that a Pro Bowl back with fresh legs might possibly be an upgrade over something called a, and I quote, “Christine Michael”? I do. Just looking at the both of these teams I must say, THERE’S A SHIT-TON OF TALENT HERE. DO YOU HEAR THAT JERRY REESE? IT CAN’T BE THAT HARD TO DRAFT WELL. [upends table that has nothing on it] Sorry. Where was I? Right. You’d think that mega-CB Norman would be matched up against WR Baldwin (he of the 13 TD’s in the last 9 games) but the former is a baby that only rarely plays the slot receiver. (don’t tell him I typed that) Speaking of tough assignments S Chancellor gets to be roasted on a spit with an apple in his mouth by TE Olsen. “Fat Chance” is great in run support but if Seattle wants to blitz he’s gonna be on an island that features quite a few balls whizzing overhead. CB Sherman does follow the opposing #1 WR all over the field and that spells bad news for Ted Ginn. Years from now when you hear the phrase “a rising tide lifts all shitty receivers to career years” you’ll think of the Ginner and have yourself a nice martini. (may apply to myself only). One guy that might be under your radar is Kawaan Short. The Seahawks have struggled against dominant DT’s (just like everyone else, duh) like Donald (Rams) and Atkins (Bengals) and short led the league at his position with 11 sacks and 16 tackles for a loss. The man tasked with going after QB Newton has sacked him 7 times in 4 games-OLB Irvin it’s time to do what you do. HAVE AT IT YOU RAPSCALLIONS!

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Romonobyl

Mercy Rule…ENGAGE!

blaxabbath

Just need to hand it to Lynch. Wear Beastmode down before his offseason release.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Russell Wilson bought a new truck last week…
http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/137208-1/IntersectionTbone_crash.gif

Sharkbait

That’s what you get when Jesus takes the wheel. Dude doesn’t have a license for a reason.

...

This GIF is amazing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Slight fender bender honey.

Dick E. Phuck

I think we all know who’s responsible for the Seahawks suckage:
http://i.imgur.com/iHnWZ.png

Sill Bimmons

I just realized that this means the Stillers are going to lose by 60.

King Hippo

Seriously, if you don;t like watching Cam Newton play, you just don’t fucking like football. Period, full stop.

Doktor Zymm

This. He is easily one of the most entertaining players of all time.

makeitsnowondem

I have no qualms about calling anyone who doesn’t like Cam Newton a racist. It doesn’t matter to me at all if it’s true, because fuck those people.

...

They’re either racist or hate joy, so fuck ’em either way.

Smithchez

To be fair it might just be because you don’t like black people, but feel incapable of expressing that in a culturally accepted way in 2016, so you just call him a showboat.

evilbeaver8

This is the worst loss any Seahawks fan has seen since the franchise was founded in 2012.

blaxabbath

NAILED IT!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

And we have a winner!

King Hippo

Serious, SO MUCH COTW material…

Sill Bimmons

Pretty much…

JustStopDude

I wish NFL film would show some half time speeches from locker rooms of teams getting completely fucking obliterated.

Kungjitsu

It’s like Eleanor Roosevelt said: No Vaseline, just a match and a little bit of gasoline.

John Difool

” I haven’t seen turf this murderous since the grassy knoll….”

-Pete Carroll

Senor Weaselo

THIS SEATTLE SEAHAWKS TEAM, I CALL THEM COMPLETE CONTROL BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING TORN APART AND IT IS SPECTACULAR.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL8qBD53F0A

Redshirt

stopstopalreadydead.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

#whoisthefraud

Redshirt

Yeah. I’m eating crow for lunch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Naw, there is always next week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ThePirateSloth

Put in Tavaris Jackson, just give up on this game.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Boy, when I hated the Seahawks, ummm, a week ago, this would have been awesome. Now? Just kind of boring.

Gratliff

Oh man. It’s not even fun now. Just funny.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nope…still fun.
And also funny.

makeitsnowondem

Apologies to Seahawks fans, but watching Cam Newton go off like this is the absolute best.

King Hippo

a true artist at work

Sill Bimmons

Why apologize?

They’re a bunch of jerks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They shoulda gone for two and really put this one away.

Sill Bimmons

THEY HAD THEIR FOOT ON THEIR THROAT AND THEY JUST LET THEM BACK INTO IT

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

Badger

Get shit on Seahawks

blaxabbath

How many FGs will Gano have to shank to give SEA a chance in this one?

Doktor Zymm

So….Carolina, just a bunch of clownfrauds, right?

blaxabbath

Too much celebrating.

Sill Bimmons

comment image

King Hippo

I’d like THIS as banner quote

bourb0nblues

I’m shocked it took this long to haul it out.

...

Hey, remember when the Bears traded Greg Olsen for no reason whatsoever?

/sighs

bourb0nblues

GO FOR 2!

King Hippo

Only because they can’t go for three.

/paraphrased from the Oklahoma version of Barry Switzer

King Hippo

That was a BACK FOOTED throw. HOLY SHIT. PERFECT

evilbeaver8

Carolina might just pull this one out.

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know, it’s still early…

blaxabbath

Chancellor just slightly more productive that he was the first two weeks of the season….

JustStopDude
Sharkbait

Can we just link this thread in the banner? So many COTW candidates in here already.

Redshirt

Wow. Does Seahawks have money on Panthers?

blaxabbath

#wouldpen

Dick E. Phuck
...

And here come the bird corpses…

Sill Bimmons

Cam Newton might not be entirely fair.

Doktor Zymm

Most Valuable Showboater

King Hippo

His balance is fucking incredible.

blaxabbath

Here’s hoping a frustrated Seattle D goes all Burfect on Cam/Olsen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why?

Doktor Zymm

THE LEGION OF POO

blaxabbath

COTW

Sill Bimmons

That was the floatiest float this side of Marmalard.

blaxabbath

Sherman did not cover well there.

Sharkbait

Might wanna start covering people there Truthers…

Redshirt

I saw the dark uniforms and I thought this game was in seattle. That would’ve made this loss perfect

...

“There he is. That bad man getting his smoothie on.”

“No, I mean, he’s really just bad. I’m serious.”

JustStopDude
Doktor Zymm

You remember those games late in the season where Seattle was good?

FALSE FLAG

Sill Bimmons

BLEERGH WILL NOT BE DENIED

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