Step right up and see the best of the best Sporty type dogs, Workers (how’d they get time off?), Terriers (my least favourite-you guessed it, Boston) and of course, what we’ve all been waiting for, Best In Show. God, it must seem like an eternity to those dog harvesters, er owners, when the judge looks them all over like a sex tourist in Bangkok before he finally points at one of them. “You, in my dressing room, right after the show and I warn you-I don’t wear protection.” [Later at the bar a retriever and a spaniel commiserate together-“I WORKED ON MY HAUNCHES ALL DAMN YEAR FOR NOTHING!”]

The NBA’s version of a dog show features 26-26 Utah and 23-28 Washington. The game to watch though is Spurs/Clippers. The NHL gives us Philly/Jersey, San Jose/Tampa, Dallas/St. Loo but the keeper is the 33-19 Kings versus 40-10 Capitals. That should be a barn burner! (just channelled my Dad there for a second) College brings us #10 Track Pants/#24 Shaka as well as #13 ISU and #25 Baylor (rumour has it that none of the Bears’ players are blind in one eye this year). As well, 17-9 Northwestern takes on #17 Purdue. But really, tonight we’re all going to the dogs and loving it. LET’S HAVE POODLES AND POODLES OF FUN!