A new day brings new Free Agency news. Let’s unwrap this fish and see what’s happened today:

• In what nfl.com calls “Heath Relief” (ugh), the Steelers signed former Charger Ladarius Green.
• Mohamed Sanu has switched from the Red Rifle to Matty Ice.
• Ryan Fitzpatrick is actually playing hardball with the Jets? I’m guessing he didn’t go to Harvard’s business school.
  • Rumor has it the Jets are also looking at Brian Hoyer, because HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Clearly there’s some thistle in his oats, because John Elway sure sounds bitter about Brock leaving for Houston:
  • “We’ve stayed true to our philosophy of building a team with players who want to be Denver Broncos and want to be here.”
• Further soiling the paddock is news that C.J. Anderson has signed an offer sheet with the Dolphins. I thought Peyton leaving meant more money for others, John?
• Jeez, the Raiders might be onto something, poaching Sean Smith from the Chiefs. Guess they want to load up before moving to Vegas.

What a time to be alive! It’s one week to the start of March Madness, meaning that it’s time for thinkpieces about who got ripped in not making it into the big dance. Personally, I hate the idea of the play-in game, and now the rule change lets them slot the victors into the tournament anywhere, based on a comparison of records and similar opponents. If they weren’t good enough to be picked 16^th, they shouldn’t be allowed to play, JUST LIKE DODGEBALL! And the NCAA is calling the play-in games the “first round”. WRONG! The play-in games are more like “Last Chance Kitchen”, in that you get one more chance to advance to a tournament you were already excluded from attending on merit.

Also, remember to tell your mom that tonight’s episode of “The Big Bang Theory” – “The Application Deterioration’ – is the last one she’ll get for a month due to the Madness.

Your uncles will be watching the Republican debate from Miami. Immigration reform has to be more than “BAN EVERYONE! DEPORT THEM ALL!” I don’t see how any of them could meaningfully be against immigration, since they all are the product of a liberal policy, and immigrants are a source of labour & wives for Trump.

The meaningful games (all times eastern)

NHL: (6 games total)

• Hurricanes @ Bruins – 7:00
• Senators @ Panthers – 7:30
• Devils @ Sharks – 10:30

NBA: (4 games total)

• Hawks @ Raptors – 7:30
• Bulls @ Spurs – 8:00
• Cavs @ Lakers – 10:30

NCAA: major conference tournament games

• Georgia Tech vs #4 Virginia – 7:00
• TCU vs #9 West Virginia – 7:00
• Marquette vs #5 Xavier – 7:00
• #21 Iowa State vs #6 Oklahoma – 9:00
• Virginia Tech vs #11 Miami – 9:00
• Oregon State vs #24 Cal – 11:30

Question: do conference championships involve more or less drinking than a Tournament appearance? FETCH ME MY THINKING BOURBON!