Better Know A Region – South Preview

Churning out another one pre-doctor visit. WOO!

Overview

Yay, as I walk in the Region of Death. I shall fear no evil, for at least they gave Cal a 4 seed. But other than that? Loaded. For. Bear.

There’s a Lot of Opportunities…

Miami. This region lines up very nicely for a cockroach, and Jim Larranaga has just the team for that role. They can take a beating, win ugly, play various styles and tempos. They also match up fairly well with Arizona, and the Wildcats have a tricky matchup of their own to survive in the first round anyway.

What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Done To Deserve This?

Villanova. Poor Jay Wright. Smarch just fucking hates him, and now the committee is piling on. In round 2, he will either get dragged into the mud by crosstown bruisers Temple and their matchup zone, or Iowa – who might be on a cold streak, but played like a Top 10 team for much of the season, and are VERY strong for a 7. As opposed to, say, FUCKING OREGON STATE. In the unlikely event they survive that gauntlet, their reward is probably Miami, a team whose guards are every bit as good, but with more toughness inside. And everyone but me has unstoppable Kansas awaiting in the regional final. Poor fucking guy. At least he still gets to bang his cheerleader wife every night. FOAR NOW.

Prediction/Confidence Level

Maryland (Low) I’m not sane, you know that. I never pick Kansas, which is why I never win.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Sill Bimmons

Making berry soup.

3 lbs of frozen berries (blue, black, rasp, straw)
1 cup water
1/4 sugar

Add everything to microwave-safe dish and cook on high for 10 minutes. Beat with eggbeater/hand mixer. Cook on high for 5 more minutes. Beat again. You want a thick stew with most of your blueberries still intact. Everything else should be basically pureed. Let it cool and mix it with plain yogurt. It’s better, cheaper, and better for you than fruit-on-the-bottom. You can also thin it out and serve it as a chilled dessert gazpacho-type thing with shortbread and clotted cream.

Sill Bimmons

1/4 cup sugar

Croooow

Kansas is the worst to decide on. If you pick them to go far? They blow it early to some mid-major. Pick them to exit early? Final Four.

...

“Kansas is the worst”

FTFY

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You really should have saved your worst spelling for the South region.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And maybe used your cheesiest jokes for the Midwest.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey I took Maryland too! Looks like we’re both idiots!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Total ………Terpage…… you terped bad.

/sorry
//not sorry

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I think it’s usually rendered “Yea”. Otherwise, it kind of reads as “WOOOOO! VALLEY OF DEATH! SPRING BREAK!!!”

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Hippo, it’s “Bovine University”, not Cow College! Those opiates are turning you into a Grade A moron.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t believe Hippo expects us to swallow this tripe.

Enrico Pallazzo

Van/Wich is also the best sloppy joe that you can get from a pedophile.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image?w=640&h=320

SonOfSpam

Pitino’s not eligible this year, but his favorite band is The Minutemen.

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure he’s into this punk band because it makes him feel like more of a man in comparison:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/7_Seconds_(band)

Sill Bimmons

I wonder what’s on a VAN/WICH.

I’m guessing it’s Chinese five-spice rubbed smoked brisket with mixed greens, soy-jicama slaw and wasabi aioli on a banh mi baguette.

WCS

Yes, I wonder…
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, you can get one of those at Trois Mec in Silver Lake. It’s actually called a VON/WICH, though. I used to order them back before they became so commercialized.

Sill Bimmons

Obviously.

blaxabbath

I’ve had the unfortunate position of bringing my girlfriend (also a UA grad) into Arizona fandom the last few years and, until this season, it’s gone pretty well. Sean Miller is the devil himself and his players are typically pretty likable (ex-Cat and ASG Slam Dunk Contest “Runner Up” Aaron Gordon was just on Ellen), plus the Pac-12 has been down. This season though, shit, she was ready to write off the season because they took a loss before January. I’m about ready to grab her by the ear and drag her to Dolphins training camp so she can learn to appreciate rooting for a team who, when they have a down year during which the conference is loaded, you still get a spot in the Dance.

That said, this Arizona team is the worst team in college basketball history. If Oregon didn’t actively recruit rapists….well, I have nothing to add to that; I just like pointing it out. Even the biggest homers have no faith that this Arizona team is going anywhere and, if they do somehow stumble into a game against Kansas or the like, they’re going to lose by 50.

entropy

This is probably my favorite playoff, because I legitimately have no dog in this fight, and other than hating Duke as every decent American should, I don’t care who wins or loses. This, of course, means two things:

1. I get to actually enjoy every game I watch!
2. I get to watch my bracket fall apart by the first Saturday!

Anyway, I put in my picks, and now we will see how poorly I do.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In NFL news, Phil Dawson signs for (almost exactly) pi dollars on Pi Day.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well, it wasn’t EXACTLY pi so I think it’s just coincidence.

Horatio Cornblower

Signing for Pi is a great idea, because they can never stop paying you.

Sill Bimmons

That’s true of any irrational or repeating number.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Both of which describe Bobby Bonilla’s contract.