Basketball Coma – Friday Night (Almost Finished!)

Remember that scene in “The Great Outdoors” where John Candy is trying to eat that 96-oz steak (one has to suspend disbelief and pretend that would be a challenge), and Dan Aykroyd insists he’s finished. “There’s nothing left on that plate but fat and gristle!”

Ladies and gentlemen, your fat and gristle…

10E Pittsburgh vs. 7E Wisconsin (6:50, TNT)

The bland leading the bland. Anytime one of these sides is ahead, feel free to use this historically apt line.

14E Stephen F. Austin vs. 3E West By God Virginia (7:10, CBS)

Taking on all of The King of Track Suits’ men seems like a mighty tall order for one dude, even if’n he is from Texas.

14W Green Bay vs. 3W Texas A&M (7:20, TBS)

Both of these professional sports organizations are far more known for their footy pursuits, so what an interesting fish out of water tale this shall be!

16(T)W Holy Cross vs. 1W Oregon (7:27, truTV)

No means quack?

15E Weber State vs. 2E Xavier (9:20, TNT)

Harold “The Show” Arcineaux ain’t walking through that door, which is too bad, because Xavier be ripe for the pluckin.’

11(T)E Michigan vs. 6E Notre Dame (9:40, CBS)

Something about Desmond Howard and Rocket Ismail.

11W Northern Iowa vs. 6W Texas (9:50, TBS)

This makes me think about former Panther RB David Johnson, who will be my top keeper next season, and now I really wants it to be football season already. Also, FUCK TEXAS and FUCK SHAKA SMART.

9W Cincinnati vs. 8W St. Joseph’s (9:57, truTV)

Phil Martelli looks exactly the same as when he coached that Elite Eight squadron, which I think was like 15 years ago. Pretty sure he bathes in toddler blood. Also pretty sure he would kick Mick Cronin’s ass in a fight, which would make this game worth watching.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Doktor Zymm

I like the name Bolomboy because it only uses one vowel, and that vowel is the only vowel which is symmetrical on all axis.

herodotus450

And yet all I hear is women complaining about periods.
/I’ll just go to the penalty box right now.

Doktor Zymm

I’m resisting the urge to make an Oxford comma joke.

Unsurprised

Dudley Moore was a national treasure. I’m glad the Arthur remake crashed and burned.

Doktor Zymm

Thing I miss about academia : It’s super hard to find someone to discuss the ego depletion/p-value misuse upheaval going in behavioral psych with in the normal world.

WCS
herodotus450

Did someone say depletion regions? No? Oh ok…

ballsofsteelandfury

You know, I was saying that just the other day to my banker as I was getting my small business loan to open up my Aussie Pie Shop sports bar/strip club.

Doktor Zymm

Mmm, savory pies.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah Right supposedly went here today:

http://www.aussiepiekitchen.com/

Doktor Zymm

We got these in Chicago. The chicken balti is my favorite.
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laserguru

Oh there I am.
What’s up folks?

herodotus450

Did you see that 90-81 run Middle Tennessee went on to start the game earlier?

laserguru

No but I made a killing off of VCU.

herodotus450

Damn I thought I replied to the bowling pin lacrosse stick below. Oh well. I’ve always found the “run” terminology in basketedball to be kinda dumb.

WCS

The Big 12 is taking a big ol’ shitburger for it’s collective fan-base to eat.

The couches got their revenge against Bob Huggins.

Croooow

23-4 UNI run.

Doktor Zymm
WCS

On the positive side, this time next year, I’ll get my first chance to introduce my kid to the emptiness and ennui of being a WVU fan.

Doktor Zymm

Do they make a onesie where you can fill out your bracket on the buttflap?

Sill Bimmons

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herodotus450
WCS

That is, unless Fuhrer Drumpf or Emperor Cruz don’t declare nuclear war on “Loosahs” or “anti-Christian heathens” in the UK.

Shogun Marcus

Hey Hippo. In your write-ups above, I think you got the games with Wisconsin teams descriptions mixed up. Not that it matters.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pour some Tussin in it

Doktor Zymm

Wow, college basketball, where a turned ankle in an important game doesn’t get you shot up with painkillers, wrapped up tight as all hell and stuck back in the game.

Unsurprised

The single-shot stairwell fight in episode 3 reminds me so much of The Raid.

Sill Bimmons

Still nothing on Gawker.

ballsofsteelandfury

About what?

Sill Bimmons

Getting successfully sued for $115 million.

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like Drew can write for DFO!

Sill Bimmons

I hope he didn’t take company stock in lieu of payment.

WCS

Marchmand’s Deadspin Up All Night post makes a very vague reference to it. That’s the closest I’ve found on any of their sites.

Unsurprised

There won’t be. They’re probably afraid it could be used against them, especially since punitive damages haven’t been decided yet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And they’ve released a statement about how they plan to win on appeal. Above the law thinks they will:

http://abovethelaw.com/2016/03/let-me-tell-you-something-brother-the-hulk-hogan-victory-is-going-to-be-reversed-on-appeal/

Unsurprised

ATL is so full of shit.

herodotus450

Not a lick of actual legal insight in that article, it’s just, “Hey, this verdict was bad, evidence was withheld, dont you hate donald trump lolol.”

Unsurprised

Typical ATL bullshit. It’s the legal version of Gawker.

Sill Bimmons

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Col. Duke LaCross

My brackets are almost always good through Thursday night and then kindling for the charcoal starter by Friday night.

Doktor Zymm

So, I have a minor Kickstarter addiction. The stuff I back/get is generally awesome and gets a lot of use, especially as far as home automation goes, so I’m planning on hooking up this tiny wireless camera (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1628949700/wicam-the-programmable-wireless-coin-cam) as a trigger, but I haven’t decided what I want to trigger yet. I could do something practical yet boring, like have the lights come one when the camera senses motion between certain hours, or I could do something silly but awesome, like have my projector screen descend and my projector turn on when I open the liquor cabinet.

Doktor Zymm

It also has a temperature sensor, which could be fun to work in somehow.

ballsofsteelandfury

There is a really good scene in an old Chevy Chase-Goldie Hawn movie with Dudley Moore where Dudley Moore presses a button and a bed comes down, the sex toy cabinet opens, the lights turn red, and the horse racing start horn blares.

You should do that.

herodotus450

why does it use a board with support for motor control?

Doktor Zymm

I assume it’s like the audio options, they want it to be expandable for people who want to customize it.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is it:

Doktor Zymm

Dudley Moore is kinda awesome. There would be some major construction involved in implementing something like that, could be an interesting conversation with my condo board, lol.

ballsofsteelandfury

I love that scene. He is basically in the movie for those five minutes and a few more, but he absolutely steals it.

I’ve always to do some kind of automation thing like you’re thinking of doing. Let me know how it works out!

Doktor Zymm

I’ve got some basic stuff in place, which actually goes pretty far since I live in an apartment without central heat/air and I don’t have a car. I’m hooking all my IR controlled devices to my phone and Alexa and setting up some IFTTT triggers this weekend. Reading lights and the window A/C are on wireless controlled outlets. Main lights and temperature control in my bed are circadian rythem coordinated.

The Dudley Moore Bedazzled is one of my favorite movies. Why is it so much fun to watch him be awkward with women?

herodotus450

Other than that I can’t come up with too much to rail on this one for, unlike most kickstarters in the technology section. Is pretty neat that digital cameras are so cheap that you can basically use them to replace motion detectors. If their app works.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, apps are often sticking points. It really shouldn’t be an afterthought, it’s such a shame when excellent hardware is rendered almost useless by a shitty app. Learning to reverse engineer android apps in on my long term list of things to do.
There’s a service I haven’t tried that lets you use the cameras on old phones as motion detectors, I’ve heard good things but haven’t tried it yet myself.

herodotus450

It looks like they want to release the app source code at least, though that can also mean they dont know what theyre doing and want someone in the community to do it for them. The old phone method is intriguing, I found a similar app to use old phones as a remote/touchscreen keyboard combo for a pc which is very useful; however, I couldnt get it to work on old (i.e. unactivated) phones because I couldn’t log in to the app store…

Doktor Zymm

You couldn’t log in via wifi?

herodotus450

Nope. This was a few years ago on an even-then-ancient phone, Android 2.4, maybe.

herodotus450

Oh shit, the 68 dollar price tag it Canadian? That makes it a pretty good price….

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I’m enjoying the exchange rate right now. I just let myself think Canadian or Australian prices are in US, then enjoy the surprise of the discount.

Doktor Zymm

Their shipping kinda blows though, that basically eats the discount.

herodotus450

Yeah holy shit, I clicked on the back this project button only to see 23 bucks for shipping. I think that killed by pointless gadget boner.

Unsurprised

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laserguru

I thumb strait up.

herodotus450
WCS

I don’t know if I should assist-post this or not…

WCS

As bad as that was, my buddy who has a BA from WVU, and law degree from Michigan State’s day probably has had a worse day.

Unsurprised

I wasted my day.

Unsurprised

And not even in a good way dicking around with you. I wasted it. This is at least productive fun.

Gratliff

Holy shit, tournament champ picks are dropping like flies

Mountaineers just lost their monthly skoal ration.

Sill Bimmons

YOURE GOING TO USE IT ALL UP BRO

...

This is definitely a Groupon deal I could not capitalize on. I also didn’t know these things existed:

https://www.groupon.com/deals/gg-freshlook-self-adhesive-backless-push-up-bra-6-pack-3

WCS

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WCS

With this effort, I’m not sure that’s true.

If you give Walkup a musket, he’d be a good West Virginia mascot.

Sill Bimmons

At least Oregon is laying waste to Holy Cross.

herodotus450

When the SF Austin team gets on the elevator at their hotel do you think they say, “4th floor, Walkup,” ?

herodotus450
ThePirateSloth

I had to pick against WVU simply because they’ve got a terrible Wonder Woman rip off as their logo.

ThePirateSloth

And I stand corrected.

It seems the the WV logo was created in 1980 while the double W was created in 1982 according to some reddit heros who googled it. So whatever. I had more fun being drunk in Nacogdoches at SFA than I ever did in Charleston.

Doktor Zymm

I think I’m going to start pronouncing Xavier like “Havee-ayr” should I ever run into a situation where I need to be really annoying and they happen to be playing.

herodotus450

I prefer the classic “Ex-Zavyer”

Sill Bimmons

You could be even more annoying and call them “Thavee-ayr.”

Doktor Zymm

Hmm, some excellent suggestions. Maybe I’ll switch between all three in an unpredictable fashion…

...

You also could invent a bullshit backstory as to why your pronunciation is actually the correct one.

Doktor Zymm

There’s actually legitimate argument for most pronunciations, just claim a particular ethnicity/cultural background.

Doktor Zymm

Check out the pronunciation secion on the Wikipedia article : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xavier_(given_name)

Unsurprised
Sill Bimmons

WVU clock management positively Reidian.

WCS

Not as bad as our shooting! Woo!

Sill Bimmons
WCS

That’s way better than hypno-dolphin.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

Physics. Something you can use in real life.

...

Donald Trump plans to use it to win an election.

Gratliff

This bracket has a very “Young Gratliff Not Paying Attention To His Account Balances” look to it.

Sill Bimmons

“West Virginia is a state located in the Appalachian region of the Southern United States. It is bordered by Virginia to the southeast, Kentucky to the southwest, Ohio to the northwest, Pennsylvania to the north and east, and Maryland to the northeast. West Virginia is the 41st largest by area and the 38th most populous of the 50 United States. The capital and largest city is Charleston.”

Doktor Zymm

Charleston WV is supposed to be a good town to retire in.

WCS

A buddy of mine moved there to work for the WV attorney general’s office. Charleston might be fine for a 73-year old, but it’s making Noah’s blood pressure and alcoholism worse and worse.

...

It’s a scenic city that hugs the river than runs through it and it’s certainly cheap. I didn’t think it was all that great of a place–pretty capitol building, though.

WCS

No, it blows. It’s fine for a weekend trip, but don’t live there. You’ll go insane.

Doktor Zymm

My plan for retiring as early as possible involves leaving the US. I’m thinking the Balkans, Vietnam or maybe Sri Lanka, but I haven’t visited Sri Lanka yet.

...

It worked out well for Arthur C. Clark.

Sill Bimmons

Adriatic Croatia.

This is assuming that you are white.

Doktor Zymm

I was thinking Montenegro, Croatia has more tourist dollars coming in so I have the impression it would be more expensive.

Sill Bimmons

Good thinking.

Doktor Zymm

Cheap is probably one of the main reasons it’s recommended for retirement.

Doktor Zymm

Am I just too sober, or are none of these games particularly good?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes

...

What? First team to 50 barnburners don’t tingle your spine?

Sill Bimmons

“Stephen Fuller Austin (November 3, 1793 – December 27, 1836) was an American empresario born in Virginia and raised in southeastern Missouri. Known as the Father of Texas,[1][2] he led the second, and ultimately successful, colonization of the region by bringing 300 families from the United States to the region in 1825.”

Doktor Zymm

Is there an over/under for the first round without a double digit seed in it?

Sill Bimmons

You Pitt believers really should have listened to me.

There was no way on earth this team was going to respond to the situation.

Sill Bimmons

i hate this

Doktor Zymm

As horrible as Gawker is, and while they certainly deserve this shit, this is kind of a weird way for it to come about, and I think there are other people who deserve that sort of cash settlement more than Hulk. That whole ‘persona’ argument is total BS to my mind.

For comparison, the largest settlement in a revenge porn lawsuit (which is way fucking worse) has been $500,000

...

Yup. The Conde Nast execute they outed on the whims of a batshit crazy blackmailer for no good reason would be one.

Doktor Zymm

I think a good part of the jury award is a sort of proxy for a lot of the stories they heard, like this one : http://nypost.com/2016/03/11/blah-blah-blah-gawker-editor-blew-off-woman-who-begged-him-to-remove-possible-rape-video/

JustStopDude

It certainly did not help that they kept mentioning the case…which I’m sure their legal team fucking loved…

Doktor Zymm

I know law grads are desperate for jobs nowadays, but damn, member of the Gawker legal team has got to be an awful gig. They get sued constantly, this was just a rare one that didn’t settle.

Sill Bimmons

What are you talking about?

The number of hours they must bill…it’s a gold mine.

...

I think I’d quit after the first time i had to tell a girl who was raped in a bathroom on tape that her pain is “newsworthy” for snarky jokes in a website comment section.

Unsurprised

I have rent to pay. I’d drown kittens at this point.

...

I think the best part of that is the New York Fucking Post actually holding the moral high ground.

WCS

HOLY PISS WE GOT A FIELD GOAL

Don T

OK big time rant on privacy coming up.

Oh. There’s booz

JustStopDude
Sill Bimmons

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Col. Duke LaCross

Could be a wet qualifier in Melbourne tonight!

Col. Duke LaCross

Buemi needed a change of pants after that!

Sill Bimmons

One wonders when and how Gawker will acknowledge the decision on their site.

WCS

I didn’t even see anything in the comments sections.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hopefully with a reenactment of the Hulk Hogan sex tape starring Daulerio and Denton

...

I’m sure they’ll handle it with their usual tact and class.

JustStopDude
WCS

Yep, we’re going to lose.