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An Open Letter to King Hippo, Sill Bimmons, and the other EPL lovers/La Liga haters

ballsofsteelandfury

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Dear Invisible Imaginary Internet Friends,

Please don’t take this post the wrong way.  I love international football just like you do.  I like Rebecca Lowe as a host and as an expert on all things footy.  I also enjoy watching the English Premier League along with you and I was raptured by the recent epic Liverpool-Manchester City thrilling League Cup Final in which Willy Caballero basically saved City’s hide and handed them the trophy on a silver platter.

But I digress.  We need to talk.  While some may have acknowledged that English sides struggle in Europe, this year is, um how do I say this?

Here is a table showing the final standings from last season and the qualified teams into European competition from both La Liga and the EPL:

Place La Liga EPL Tournament Qualification Comment
1 Barcelona Chelsea Champions League Group Stage
2 Real Madrid Manchester City Champions League Group Stage
3 Atlético Madrid Arsenal Champions League Group Stage
4 Valencia Manchester United Champions League Playoff Round Both teams went to Europa League after 3rd place in Champions League Group Stage
5 Sevilla Tottenham Hotspur Europa League Group Stage

As Europa League champ, Sevilla went to Champions League Group Stage, then

dropped to Europa League after 3rd place finish.
6 Villareal Liverpool Europa League Group Stage
7 Athletic Bilbao Southampton Europa League Third Qualifying Round
12 West Ham United Europa League First Qualifying Round Extra spot awarded due to Fair Play

We are now at the stage of each tournament where only 8 teams remain.  Here is a table showing the remaining teams in both competitions:

Champions League Europa League      
Barcelona Sevilla
Atlético Madrid Athletic Bilbao
Real Madrid Villareal
Bayern Munich (Germany) Shakhtar Donetsk (Ukraine!)
Wolfsburg (Germany) Braga (Portugal)
Paris Saint Germain (France) Borussia Dortmund (Germany)
Benfica (Portugal) Sparta Prague (Czech Republic)
Manchester City (England) Liverpool (England)

Of the four Spanish teams that qualified for the Champions League, three are still alive in the Champions League and the other is still alive in the Europa League.  Of the three Spanish teams that directly qualified for the Europa League, two are still alive and the only reason the third (Valencia) is not is because it was defeated in the knock-out round by Athletic Bilbao, another Spanish team.

In the meantime, there are only two remaining English teams out of a total of 8 qualifiers, one in each competition, which equals the performance of Portugal except Portugal had less teams qualify. True, Liverpool did knock out Manchester United in the knockout round, but the same thing happened with Athletic-Valencia.

The draws for the next knockout phase took place today.  Here they are:

Champions League Europa League         
Wolfsburg v Real Madrid Villareal v Sparta Prague
Paris Saint Germain v Manchester City Borussia Dortmund v Liverpool
Bayern Munich v Benfica Braga v Shakhtar Donetsk
Atlético Madrid v Barcelona Sevilla v Athletic Bilbao

As you can see, even on England’s best case scenario and Spain’s worst case scenario, there would still be the same number of teams from each league in the semifinals.  And do we really think Wolfburg can beat Real?  I have the same chance of having sex with pick-any-hot-Hollywood-celebrity-actress.

So, what’s my point of all this?

I propose to you fine folks this:  Start watching La Liga!  It’s on BeIn Sports, which is a pretty good network!  It’s in both English and Spanish.  It features knowledgeable hosts like Carmen Boquin

and Ana Cobos

It also features Ray Hudson going apeshit whenever Messi does anything good:

Yes, Rebecca Lowe is nice

but the better value for your basic cable/satellite sports package dollar is watching La Liga on BeIn Sports.

Your friend,

Balls

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Sill Bimmons

I don’t know where you got the idea that I hate La Liga.

I like most soccer equally apart from England and Saints.

I got into it WAY too late to develop any hate for entire leagues.

Big Barça fan, so I have may have posted some Real hate that you took for overall hate of La Liga.

I don’t watch enough TV in general to start watching La Liga but I very much like and respect not only La Liga but most pro football leagues:

Prem–Southampton FC
La Liga–FC Barçelona
Liga MX–CD Guadalajara
France Ligue 1–RC Lens
Bundesliga–Borussia Mönchengladbach
Serie A–SSD Parma Calcio
Eredivisie–Ajax Amsterdam
Scottish Premiership–Heart Of Midlothian
Jupiler Pro League–Royal Standard de Liège
Synot liga–AC Sparta Praha
Bundesliga Österreich–SK Rapid Wien
Russian Premier League–FC Lokomotiv Moscow
Primera A–CA River Plate
A-League (HAHA)–Sydney FC
ASB Premiership (HAHAHAHA)–Waitakere United

The US does not currently have professional football, nor will it in my lifetime.

I haven’t paid attention to most of this in a while, but when I lived abroad and went to these places and drank with these fans it definitely mattered. Never made it to Argentina or Mexico, they’re next up.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Love the MLS dig.

Sorry, I should have rephrased the title.

That’s quite a list! I too have preferred teams in each league. My first and always is C.D. Toluca since I was born in Mexico. Others include A.C. Monaco, Fiorentina, Independiente, and Ajax.

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Sill Bimmons

One of the best times I ever had was in Köln when Borussia Mönchengladbach were playing FC Köln and I stumbled into an all-Borussen bar.

That’s basically a derby situation and Borussia won, so we all went out into the streets of Köln and taunted the home fans. And when I say “we” I mean “they,” because I know next to no German. Things got a little tense at one point when we got into a standoff with about 20 Köln supporters but nothing happened. Cool story.

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King Hippo

The funny thing is…I actively root against the English sides whenever I remember to watch EuroFooty. The Spanish style of play is more enjoyable.

It’s just as a week in, week out competition…there’s usually not much drama in La Liga. How many goals will Barca win by this time? gets old after a while.

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Don T

Yep, yep. I agree on everything but one thing: the “gets old” part. I really enjoy the football of immense quality, of which goals are a big part of, but also a precise cross from 20 yds., a dribbling between three hacking defenders, a bending free kick that was wide, or a distracting nudge that precedes a steal. So even if the matchups are lopsised, there is something to appreciate, I think–especially when acounterattack goal could take, like, 10 seconds? That Landon Donovan goal against Algeria (?) in the 2010 World Cup comes to mind.
Yeah, but there’s no match for a hard fought, competitive contest. For sure. That is be the only thing so-so football has going for it.

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King Hippo

This is why I make a point of watching Barca in the late rounds of CL. They are still vastly superior, but at least sometimes tested. And there is drama in the air. Sport without tension and drama doesn’t do much for me.

Clearly, part of this is that I didn’t play EuroFooty much growing up. The growth of the sport amongst youth is relatively new to the South, even in the somewhat enlightened parts that I grew up in (though oddly it hit Raleigh earlier than Charlotte, both my cousins in the Raleigh burbs played in high school).

An analogy could be the Womens’ World Cup. When the American team would play and go ahead 3-0 after 15 minutes…I usually turned the TV off. Just not much fun for me. But I could still watch peak UNLV beat teams in the NCAAT by 40.

NOTE: I would NOT watch UNLV do that in the regular season.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I watched that magical UNLV season where they would wipe the floor with teams. Then the total and utter destruction of Duke in the Championship Game left me like Randy Marsh.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Yt4hUKeaaTE/Takb1MRNWRI/AAAAAAAAA6s/VBT8nuV12rg/s1600/Randy+Marsh.jpg

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Don T

That League Cup final weekend had awesome EPL games, very physical with lots of cards. And that’s the thing: the games between English top flight teams are great, but the teams themselves are kinda blah. Lester City (love that silent ice) is the best football story of the year, but it’s a counterattacking team that relies too often in kick-and-rush and poaching goals. Yes, Mahrez usually looks like a damn Maestro and Vardy’s intensity is amazing, but it’s a team of industry, not creativity. It’s similar to Atlético Madrid, which right now is the best defense in Europe. But AM would cream Lester, and I’d take Godín over Huth every single time, whether on the pitch or the ring. Real Madrid can out-star and out-sign anyone, while Athletic Bilbao does it through player development–of Basque players only, which is hugely amazing and kinda scary at the same time. Barcelona is must watch sport, period.
Hard ass slap for Balls, oh yeah. BeIn Sports fucking rules as well.

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ballsofsteelandfury

It is truly amazing what Athletic have done with purely Basque players.

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Wakezilla

I don’t think anyone is dismissing the quality of the teams in La Liga per say, it’s just, when you know Barcelona or Real Madrid is taking first place, there’s no real reason to watch or get too emotionally involved. With that said, watching Messi own inferior defenders on shitty teams is both entertaining and amusing. He does some incredible stuff during La Liga matches that he’d never get away with anywhere else.

Conversely, the BPL has this wonderful illusion that like 4-6 teams could totally win it every year. Sure Man U wins more often than not, but, watching other teams miraculously collapse or choke is pretty amusing to watch too. Even when Man U went on their crazy 00’s run, you never asked how many they were going to win by like you do with Barce and Madrid.

The Italian league was been pretty good over the past 6 or so years with parity as well. Even better than the BPL. Good old guidos and their gambling problems.

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