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DFO Radio: Don’t Know Much About Algebra…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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So last week’s Request Line was a call for songs about mathematics and numbers.  It turned into one of the biggest playlists we’ve ever seen, but curiously enough, there weren’t any songs about “odds”.  Which strikes me as kind of an interesting coincidence because on Friday night a friend hosted a poker game and this happened to me:

royal-flush

So I’m thinking I might as well head out to the golf course and see if I can nab a hole-in-one before I cool off.  If you’d had a similar experience playing cards, share the details in the comments.  Have a great week, folks!

Editor’s note: some of the songs didn’t get picked up by my code for generating the playlist (Spoon’s “My Mathematical Mind” is one that stands out to me); I’m not sure why and my internet is wonky so I’m not sure I’ll have a chance to figure it out right away.  But rest assured you’re not being censored. 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, we forgot all about Minus the Bear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBgkH_4F_Eo

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ALXMAC

The Doors – Love Me Two Times

https://youtu.be/MsP6EKAzEjI

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JustStopDude

Got to love Philly fans…they boo an injured player getting helped off the ice.

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herodotus450

They just thought he needed an energy boost after the hit so they were yelling, “Doooo-racell”

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herodotus450

Idea No. 47 for increasing scoring in hockey: everytime you ice the puck the other team gets a penalty shot.

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Sill Bimmons

Just make the nets and ice bigger.

Problem solved.

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JustStopDude

I really think they need to do something about the size of the goalie pads.

Believe me…as a former goalie, its important to protect them. But the pads have gotten fucking huge. Especially with modern fabrics, there is no reason to have these massive pads.

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herodotus450

But the INTEGRITY of the game! If any of those old time hockey players had any brains left with which to think or teeth left with which to talk, they’d give you an earful.
Ice widening and something about reshaping the goal posts to make them more bank-in friendly seem like they are on the way, after the goalie shrinking next year.

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herodotus450

Someone should tell the flyers that they should play defense instead of checking people into their bench

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Sill Bimmons

boo

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JustStopDude

Are you saying “Boo” or “Boo-urns”?

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Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

Oh, Flyers fans.

Don’t you think the “Asshole” chant is a little played out by now?

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Sill Bimmons

I was having a good night in AC, up about $700.

On the way out I popped a $10 into a video poker machine and hit four 4s.

$4300 and change.

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Gratliff

Barely had time to dry my eyes before the first goal. Solid start

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JustStopDude

My sister was getting her masters at UNLV. So she got a job at a casino, tending a bar at a pretty swanky joint.

Apparently the first Tuesday she worked there, a drunk dude in a suit just kept bugging the shit out of her. Finally she had enough after about an hour of dealing with this shit, she walked over to security. According to my sister, the dude just goes…

“I’m sorry Ms. JSD. I thought you knew him. Please from now on, tell me immediately if there is a problem”. He raises a hand up and two dudes show up out of nowhere and lift the guy from the stool.

Three hours later, my sister is leaving the place via the back and the dude is still laying in the alley where they beat the shit out of him. My sister loved Las Vegas. She said it was like Disney World, really safe…unless you tried to fuck with a local or were an investigative journalist.

Sorry…that is my best gambling story other than the scams I ran in boot camp.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Nothing to do with numbers, but I’m going to post this on every DFO Radio broadcast from here on out.

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Unsurprised

Can we just let Rex and Rob fight it out as a proxy for this stupid fucking election? If Rex wins, we get Trump. If Rob wins, we get anarchy.

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WCS

[lone wolf howls in the distance]

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blaxabbath

WHAT ABOUT BERNIE?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I think Buddy is Bernie

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Mr. Ayo

If you’ve ever played Pai-Gow, dealer dealt this to himself:
http://tdi.world/uploads/14720_pai20gow.jpg

Everyone at the table pushed.

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WCS

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blaxabbath

This guys can’t even SPELL dick joke!

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Wakezilla

Footbaw newz: Hoyer has been released.

Funniest headline I’ve seen since this release is that the Jets are apparently now using Hoyer as leverage against Mr. Ivy league. Nothing says leverage like failed Cleveland Browns and Houston Oilers quarterback that couldn’t beat out a quarterback from the legendary QB football factory of Arkansas.

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Wakezilla

There were no songs about the odds? What about a song by the odds? This is both Aaron Rodgers and JJ Watts favorite song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbrIgaLHxnA

As for card games, I’m good at Crazy 8s, Gin Rummy and Crib. That’s it. I actually like poker, but not enough to just can’t sit there for hours playing it.

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blaxabbath

DEN should show interest just to fuck with the Jets negotiations.

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jjfozz

I SUCK at playing cards. My grandfather gave up trying to teach me pinochle, but I learned how to drink wine out of a giant glass. My grandmother was the all time worst player in her bridge club.

My wife kills at blackjack and encouraged me to play one night at a resort casino. Three hands in she said, “You’ve got to leave, you’re pissing off everyone at this table and embarrassing me.”

My reaction was, as always, mature. I left, got blacked out drunk, and slept on a chaise lounge next to the pool.

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Doktor Zymm

Blackjack players are hilarious, they’re the most uptight people in the whole casino. Zero concept of independent events, so they get mad at people who don’t play the strategy you can buy on a laminated card at the gift shop for stuff like “stealing their 10”. If it hadn’t been your wife telling you to leave, I would have encouraged you to stick around and piss off blackjack players. It’s a whole hobby unto itself.

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Sill Bimmons

I hate fucking blackjack.

Unless you have at least three or four accomplices at the table it’s nothing but you and a bunch of crazy idiots.

I don’t like card games in general, the atmosphere is always adversarial.

Cubes for me.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is one of the fun things about craps; when the table is hot, it’s hot for EVERYONE.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing is, I *know* it’s meaningless, but it’s still very frustrating to me to see people making boneheaded plays.

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rockingdog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxwrUc4UPHc

Rounders movie clip

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Fronkenshteen

I know you guys hate baseball, but
https://youtu.be/9NMb0ebvXmM

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rockingdog

oh man.

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Fronkenshteen

https://youtu.be/_UpFqL8hkwE

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blaxabbath

http://www.glavpoker.ru/spaw2/temp/images/uploaded_95040b03c25105c94a8a783add5b9ce9.jpg

Rikki seems pretty hot with his lucky shades that he stole off some lucky guy while his lucky seeing eye dog was taking a whiz.

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Fronkenshteen

I’m a Go Fish man, myself. Descendents – Catalinahttps://youtu.be/CVJ8nDpM3LY

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laserguru

We host friendly games every few months. I lost holding four 9’s to a 4-5-6-7-8 diamond strait flush.

I had to go outside for awhile.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some details: I was dealing, had an A10 hand (suited, obviously), limped in along with two others (J and C). Dealt the flop and saw I had the royal flush, glanced at my cards again to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me, then tried to suppress any reaction. C checked, J raised 1k (blinds were around 200/400 at this point), I called, C folded. Next card out was the Jack of diamonds. J pushed and I dropped my cards and stood up and stepped back and clapped three times.

I’m not a proponent of the whole “act like you’ve been there before” attitude unless you’ve actually been there before, or there’s a substantial chance you’ll be there again. I’m a cynical bastard, but I’ll be damned if I’m going suppress an expression of joy when something like this happens. I’m still riding high from it.

For the curious, I kept catching pretty good cards, didn’t screw up too badly, and did end up winning the game.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Nicely done! Was the other guy pissed at your reaction or was he cool about it?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He took it as well as anyone would – said he when I laid down he thought I had an ordinary flush and was like “why is this guy going so crazy”. He plays a lot of basketball (and I think maxed out at a fairly high level) so I’m sure he’s had to put up with much worse.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

yeah liek this gloreeboy,, smgdh

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