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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
Today’s sporting action consists of Wimbledon, France-Iceland in Euro 2016, and baseball.
Iceland is the Cinderella team this tournament having advance to the knockout rounds and beat England. England Englanded very hard once again in a major tournament. Winner plays tournament favorite Germany.
Enjoy.
My fave dance tune-“Back To Life” by Soul 2 Soul
Oh man, next week’s Sunday Gravy is going to be pure summer itself.
This is going to be a really easy and really fun one.
Goddamn these are tasty margaritas!
Woooooo!
I’m not a Christian but I was a dishwasher the first time I heard this song-this is The Christians singing “Forgotten Town”.
Paul Simon’s “Graceland” is a timeless motherfucker…
The entire fucking album is spectacular.
Going upstairs to get my CD.
Here’s a silly Canuck band that did a song about being yet another band that music executives didn’t give a rat’s ass about…
Lloyd Cole and The Commotions never got the love they deserved…this is “Rattlesnakes”.
And today…
My new vehicle has the satellite radio. One of my boys loves the 70’s blues channel…LOOK, MAN-this song has been a revelation to him.
For me, this is the funniest cartoon bit that I’ve ever seen…
Stupid geoblocking is stupid.
My ears are blocked. I should put on some pyjamas.
Canada’s tennis hopes rest on a guy by the the name of Milos Raonic.*
*Kidding! Canada has no tennis hopes.
/really like to be with my family
/really like to be away from them too
The beauty is in loved ones who both understand AND ACCEPT this duality.
[initial foray into pill land]
The wife left some goodies laying around. They are from her aunt’s late-stage liver cancer whoop-de-do.
/stay tuned
Dial 9-1 and leave the phone off the hook.
Just in case.
Fuck you, Seattle.
Fuck you, Ubaldo.
Time to start drankin’.
France vs. Germany. Unfortunately for the French, Napoleon Bonaparte has been dead for nearly 200 years. This bodes ill for them.
Payet may not be the best footballer in the world, but he’s mighty damned good. How the shit do you think West Fucking Ham ended up in 7th this past season?
[condescending tone]
“Oh, look at you, laying waste to ‘Iceland’! Much congratulations. Did you beat The Sudetenland in an earlier round? Just kidding. We know you couldn’t beat The Sudetenland.”
-Germany
The AFL Beat is up for any Icelanders that want to forget about today’s game.
I haven’t seen the French win this big since 1805.
Can someone explain how that wasn’t a handball?
Tournament is in France?
What’s the over/under on WWII jokes during the France-Germany game?
I’m going to brush up on the Franco-Prussian War for originality’s sake.
“I call Alsace Lorraine!!”
/am historical Captain Obvious
“The Germans blitzing through the French defenders and just carrying out a genocide on the pitch today.”
Too soon?
Vichy say nein
Stupid Eiffel Tower-loving, scarf-wearing, Gauloises-sucking, Vichy Government-supporting, croissant-huffing, “Thank Heaven For Little Girls”-loving, Camembert-licking, Serge Gainsbourg-nipple-rubbing Sons-of Bitches!
I actually have softened a bit towards France due to their good sportsmanship in not trying to run up the score.
I haven’t seen France go through Iceland like this since, uh, since…
dammit
http://24.media.tumblr.com/a6320d86152d47595df6009c66d90db7/tumblr_mwu2o8n45S1qcgzbvo3_250.gif
Fixed it. Well kids, I’m off to teach a bunch of 16 year olds that a 47 year old can still whip their ass at Wiffle Ball.
/throws out arm on second pitch
I’m off to show a bunch of 16 year olds that a 47 year old can legally drink beer and taunt them.
As someone in your age range, you had me at “taunt”.
Since L’Astrolabe?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27Astrolabe_(1986_icebreaker)
THIS GAME I CALL IT A POLICE ACADEMY GRADUATE BECAUSE IT WON’T BE MUCH LONGER BEFORE IT’S 5-0.
That was clever.
It took me a sec.
/might be high so it might not be as clever as stated
Miguel Montero taking the mound for the Small Bears.
Maybe I should find something else to do with my time.
Well, it’s 4-0 and I don’t think I can top my Sir Wilfred Laurier residential school comment so, I should probably spend time with Mrs. Wakezilla on this beautiful Sunday afternoon.
Later Gators.
The silver lining here is that Iceland getting blown out makes England’s loss to them even funnier.
I think Cinderella hath hit the wall.
Hard enough that her brains are oozing out her ears. AND nostrils.
Stopping now.
Don’t wanna have to wash my hands.
Don’t you wash your hands FIRST? As someone who often cuts up peppers to put in his food, I cannot stress the importance of this enough.
The WeeBaby obviously puts the carrot (penis) before the horse (hand).
OK, maybe one more….
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/3428396/french-kiss2-o.gif
What are the odds they just happened to be wearing the same outfits that day?
Oh, right. Not like it would have defined my rooting interest, but I’ve never made out with any girls from either of these countries. I did make out with a girl named Solveig, who in turn lived in Iceland for a year and presumably made out with at least one Icelander, so we’ll go with that.
Solveig sounds like the name of some Nordic pharmaceutical company.
Did she have pill samples by chance?
Curiously enough, she works doing pharmaceutical research. On the statistics side, though.
So…no on the pills then?
Just so you know-Toronto is mirroring the American government by beating the Cuyahoga out of the Indians.
THESE TORONTO BLUEJAYS, I CALL THEM SIR WILFRED LAURIER’S GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY ARE PHYSICALLY AND SEXUALLY ABUSING THE INDIANS AFTER THEY TAKEN THEM TO SCHOOL.
You’d own the internet if it was entirely populated by Canucks.
I love that I live in a world where this is the top result for an image search of “french girls”.
And it’s not like google got it wrong, so there is that.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3428334/french-kiss-o.gif
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice
Dammmmmmmmmm.
Germany will not have Mario Gomez, as he’s out for the rest of the tournament with an injury. Bastion Schweinsteiger and Sami Khedira are listed as doubtful and Mats Hummels will miss next game due to suspension.
Germany could technically have 4 starters not playing in the semi-finals.
so…uhhh, little revenge FOAR that WWII unpleasantness on tap for Los Frogs?
I really hate the idea of France being good at anything.
Kissing?
As Wake would counter, “technically” that’s something that’s been exported.
This is really the only thing. But still…
Frying?
The Guillotine
Outside of French toast, French Fries, French Kisses and Menege trois, I agree.
Stupid Maginot Line-building vacation-takers.
Looks like Iceland is
I will tell the Icelanders the same thing I used to tell my soldiers during those endless transatlantic battles in Risk:
DO IT FOR BJORK!!!
Remember, England scored an early goal too…
[grasps that straw]
Yoink! Don’t mind if I do.
How we doing, boys and girls?
Sadly, this is probably where Iceland steps off. There is hope however, because France hasn’t exactly played like world beaters and they are hilariously dysfunctional. So I’m saying there’s the slightest chances of an upset (I wouldn’t count on it).
YOU GOT WALES WRONG, YOU’LL GET THIS ONE WRONG TOO!!!
/excuse me, I haven’t been on the internet in a while
Technically not! I said Wales would win 2-1 if the Belgians got stupid and decide to play 3 D, which they did.
Stupid deodorant-hating surrenderers!
How do you know you love The DFO?
You leave a beautiful cottage on a beautiful lake, risking the wrath of your eternally patient wife, just to watch France/Iceland with you fellas.
/missed you
//GO ICELAND!
And what exactly have you chosen for your last meal?
Bcuz you ded.
She accustomed to my selfishness.
Yesterday, I gave myself the meast of the day as I did a ton or spring cleaning and taught a kid how to field a ball like David Eckstein and not some glory boy OLE bullshit like Dorn.
Today however, you good sir, get the meast for such dedication.
*Smacks ass*
uh oh, France looks to be taking things serious.
“Iceland hasn’t made any (line-up) changes”
because they only have 11 players in the entire country.
looking at their clearly fictitious FIFA16 sub list, they didn’t even bother with first names except for 2 or 3 of ’em.
FIFA Roster Inspector: “Odin? Thor? Loki? You’re not even trying!
Iceland Coach: “Here’s $20”
FRI: “Carry on Coach Ragnarok”
All I know listening to the anthem is, if rhyme was a drug, they’d sell it by the gram.
Cubs Twitter is losing its mind.
Goddamn it.
peeps thought there would NEVAR be a cold streak, especially with something as fickle as pitching you acquired on the cheap?
So Cubs fans always hate the Mets. Because, fuck the Mets they’re fuckers.
Last year, the Cubs swept them in seven regular season games but got swept in they playoffs. Now they’re about to get swept in New York despite losing two of the games by only a run and having all sorts of fluky shit go bad. It’s infuriating but the team has been suffering through injuries and the like and this is just what it looks like.
But fucking Cubs fans–they’re just fucking awful. Everything is fucking doom unless it’s a blowout win–and even then some bitch.
I alternate between wanting to cheer for this team and wanting to carpet bomb Wrigleyville to rid the world of this scourge.
Might I suggest cheering WHILE carpet bombing Wrigleyville? Two birds, one stone….ease to the pease.
I have a brother who fits that bill.
We’re both Cubs fans but I swear my brother gets zero enjoyment out of watching them.
He fucking agonizes over everything.
Lighten the fuck up dude! It’s a fucking game, you’re supposed to have you know, fun watching it.
I just do my suffering in peace.
WHY AREN’T WE GOING TO GO 150-12!?!?!?!?!?! EVERYTHING SUCKS!!!!!!
Worked like a dog all morning on house matters, this was my Karmic reward:
http://www.nsno.co.uk/everton-news/2016/07/blues-closing-mata-deal/
So…Lukaku’s staying, City’s paying 50m FOAR our 3rd choice CB (John Stones), Mata’s on his way in, and Axel Witsel is 50/50 to join him in midfield. Gonna have one of them 4+ hour erections, and I’ll be damned if I’m calling my doctor.
Also Iceland WOO!!!!! Decked on in all blue as soon as I finish me bath.
This is from the Icelandic futball twitter feed.
“An Englishman and a Spaniard walk into a bar,
The Icelander couldn’t make it because he had tickets to see his team play in the quarter finals.”
It’s been a fun twitter feed during the Euros.
Are we doing anything for the olympics? Or just a constant zika watch?
We should. The only Olympic sport I know enough about to preview is soccer though, so…
On the bright side, I’ve been to Río and can provide an excellent travel guide.
rub and tug?
/totes asking FOAR a friend
“This Week In Failed Drug Tests”
I’d love for Iceland to win but I get the feeling sometimes that we can’t ask for too many nice things. At least I hope it’s close…
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