Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Round 16

It’s about time.  We have nine games to review with lots of finals implications.  Let’s get started!

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

The Thursday Night Footy game this week (I’m still not happy about having to wake up early on Thursday mornings) had Port Adelaide hosting the Hawthorn Hawks for their last real chance at getting close to the Eight.  History was slightly on the Power’s side as they are one of the few teams that have done well against the Hawks during the recent premiership years.  Alas, the Hawks decided they needed to send a message to the rest of the league and it’s not one they want to hear.  The Power hung tough, but ultimately was beaten by a score of 101-79.  Here is an example of how hard the Power worked to get a goal against the Hawks:

while here, Hawthorn shows their class and ability:

The match of the Round was scheduled for Friday Night Footy (Friday morning for us in North America) and featured two top four sides in Geelong and Sydney.  Geelong was hosting, so it seemed they had the advantage.  The weather and the Swans, however, did not cooperate as the Swans started off super hot and kept going on their way to a 38 point away win. Sydney’s Kieren Jack had a difficult week as his family was embroiled in controversy over his girlfriend

but he played very well as can be seen here:

His friends helped too:

Sydney now takes the #2 spot behind Hawthorn while the Cats plummet down the ladder looking to get better. I really enjoy watching Chris Scott’s press conferences after games because he doesn’t bullshit or mince words.  If the team sucks, he says it.  I really like him as a coach.

Proper Friday night brought four games with the first being the GWS Giants clash against the Collingwood Magpies.  Now, I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the things I love about this league is that you never really know what will happen sometimes.  I don’t think anyone thought the Pies had a chance to win in Sydney where the Giants were not only unbeaten, but had beaten everyone by large margins.  Well,

Yup, the Giants got pied to the tune of 125-93.  Have I mentioned that I love the AFL social media team’s predilection for alliteration?

I mean, REALLY love

The next game was probably the high peak of the Gold Coast Suns’ season.  High because they beat the Brisbane Lions by a healthy margin. Peak because Gary Ablett suffered yet another injury and may be lost for the year.

and then Suns midfielder Michael Rischitelli suffered a knee injury

leaving the Suns young, inexperienced, and injured going into the end of the season.  For the Suns,

The first of the late late games had Western facing Richmond and barely squeezing out a 10 point victory. The Doggies did not look good at all as Richmond ended up helping a lot to get them the win:

In the other game, Melbourne “hosted” Fremantle in Darwin. Interestingly, Fremantle is closer to Darwin by plane, but Melbourne is closer by road.  They are both pretty fucking far away from Darwin, however, so it was essentially PK’s wet dream of having the New England Patriots play the Seattle Seahawks in Wichita.  BTW, Melbourne won.  Here are some highlights that you will enjoy if only to see the field that they played in:

On North American Saturday night, the three remaining games kicked off with Adelaide visiting the Carlton Blues at the MCG.  That went about as well as expected for the Blues as they got beat handily at home by 60. If you don’t think this is a great dick joke on the part of the AFL social media team, then you obviously haven’t seen what Tex looks like:

The West Coast Eagles hosted the reeling North Melbourne Kangaroos and made sure the reeling continued with a comprehensive 104-72 win.   The only bright spot for the Roos was this incredible goal from Ben Brown:

In the final game of the Round, the St. Kilda Saints played the Essendon Bombers at the Etihad. The Bombers were technically the home team, but both teams use that stadium as their home, so the Saints felt quite comfortable.  The Bombers made it difficult for them, however, as they took the lead midway through the fourth.  The Saints came back though and scraped by with an eleven point win. Here, the Bombers get off to a great start:

and showed they wouldn’t give up:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

PLACE TEAM G W T L % POINTS
1 Hawthorn Hawks 15 12 0 3 120.10 48
2 Sydney Swans 15 11 0 4 138.50 44
3 Adelaide Crows 15 11 0 4 132.30 44
4 Western Bulldogs 15 11 0 4 118.30 44
5 West Coast Eagles 15 10 0 5 135.40 40
6 Geelong Cats 15 10 0 5 132.40 40
7 GWS Giants 15 10 0 5 132.10 40
8 North Melbourne Kangaroos 15 10 0 5 112.70 40
9 Port Adelaide Power 15 7 0 8 108.40 28
10 Melbourne Demons 15 7 0 8 104.00 28
11 Collingwood Magpies 15 7 0 8 93.30 28
12 St Kilda Saints 15 7 0 8 87.50 28
13 Richmond Tigers 15 6 0 9 86.90 24
14 Carlton Blues 15 6 0 9 78.10 24
15 Gold Coast Suns 15 5 0 10 78.10 20
16 Fremantle Dockers 15 3 0 12 83.60 12
17 Brisbane Lions 15 1 0 14 62.40 4
18 Essendon Bombers 15 1 0 14 57.10 4

Next week, we get the big clash of #1 vs #2 on Thursday, plus some other games:

Thursday July 14

Sydney Swans v Hawthorn at SCG (2.20 AM) LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

Friday July 15

Fremantle v Geelong at Subiaco Oval (3.10pm) LIVE on Fox Sports 2!

Richmond v Essendon at MCG (8.40pm) LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

North Melbourne v Port Adelaide at Etihad Stadium (11.35pm)  LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

Saturday July 16

Western Bulldogs v Gold Coast Suns at Cazalys Stadium, Cairns (2.25 AM)

Adelaide v Collingwood at Adelaide Oval (2.40 AM) LIVE on Fox Sports 1!

Carlton v West Coast Eagles at MCG (8.10pm)

St Kilda v Melbourne at Etihad Stadium (10.20pm)

Brisbane Lions v GWS Giants at Gabba (11.40pm)

It looks like a weekend where the Eight will pull further away from the rest.  If any of the eight falters against lower opposition, that will mess them up for finals positions.  I have a feeling the mantra for the rest of the year will be:  Don’t fuck up against teams shittier than you!  Of course, my team, the Cats, have shown they have no idea what I’m talking about.

Let’s see how we stand in our Footy Tipping Contest!

PLACE TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1  BALLS 7 18 58 144
2 Litre_cola 7 15 52 272
3 WhyEaglesWhy 5 5 48 221
4 SonofSpam 7 8 45 292
5 seb blax 5 22 42 284
6 Zymm 5 53 42 407
7 BFC 6 31 36 404

It’s getting down to the final weeks of the regular (they call it “home and away”) season with only seven more Rounds left! One last thing before I go:  This Round was the Multicultural Round and games were broadcast in nine different languages in Australia.  If you’ve ever wanted to hear footy broadcast in Greek, give this video a listen:

See you next week!

 

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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WhyEaglesWhy

There is a trope in AFL that Victorian teams always get the calls, and boy did that show up in Port’s game against Hawthorn. Not that it was the difference, but it sure doesn’t make it any easier.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Progress?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh