So here it is. Our top three. 4 through 20 were actually fairly difficult and I could be wildly inconsistent and if you disagreed with me and say “Oh, this fight’s clearly better” I would understand. What do I know, I’m just some guy who writes this because you let me. But first, here’s a few fights that were in that last cutoff of “keep or chuck.” The honorable mentions go to:

HyperShock vs. Warrior Clan (ABC S2 1st round) (HyperShock, KO 1:53): #TheRakening, because HyperShock literally used a rake to take a drone out of the sky so they could destroy it. Also both bots took damage and it was impressive driving by Will Bales after that to keep HyperShock away from the flipper part of Warrior or else The Rakening would have been all for naught. Unfortunately there was no Rakening 2: Electric Boogaloo against Poison Arrow.

Diesector vs. Vladiator (CC S5 super heavyweight championship) (Diesector, 26-19): The rematch between these two former champs to see which one would reclaim the throne, just as back and forth as the first time until the fight was cut short because a piece of the lexan wall was knocked loose. Wish they could have finished the fight.

Iceberg vs. Phrizbee-Ultimate (CC S5 super heavyweights) (Iceberg, KO 2:49): If you hit a spinner the right way, it breaks itself. The wrong way, it breaks you. After a couple of wrong-way hits tearing off Iceberg’s plow and a couple tires (they had two sets on) Phrizbee stopped spinning and Iceberg was able to push it around and flip it over on the screws, the first instance I can think of of the screws actually doing something (as opposed to now where the screws are the only hazards that do anything).

Hazard vs. Zion (CC S3 middleweights) (Hazard, 34-11): This was originally on the list before I remembered Cuad vs. Techno, so you can call this #21. Before there was Blacksmith–Minotaur, there were the two battles between Hazard and Zion. In this one, Hazard tattered Zion’s armor, but maybe because of the similar sizes of the two bots, Zion stayed mobile throughout the three minutes. The second one was even worse and Zion was immobile but time ran out before the count began. Considering Hazard was 17-1 with 12 KOs in BattleBots, surviving three minutes with Hazard was worth noting, and Zion’s the only bot to have done it twice.

Potential honorable mention to Final Destiny vs. The Swarm, but there’s no video of it. Definitely no honorable mention to Minotaur vs. Warhead.

Okay, that’s done now. For real, here’s the top 3.

#3: Hazard vs. Complete Control (CC S4 middleweight final)

Result: Hazard, KO 1:16

The most spectacular and complete destruction in a BattleBots championship fight, maybe only rivaled by the S1 lightweight Backlash/Alpha Raptor tilt. But these are twice the size, and that was Jim Smentowski and Chuck Pitzer agreeing to it after incapacitation. This was straight-up annihilation en route to Hazard’s third title. Complete Control’s armor was almost completely shorn off, the clamping arm was bent, the bot was smoking… it looked like this afterwards. If you want the rough cut without the bad piped-in sound that Comedy Central added over the years (one of the best things the ABC version has done is cut that out), you can get that here to really hear Hazard’s blade just slicing away, never stopping. And yes, this, not the loss to Warhead, is the worst beating Complete Control’s ever taken, this beats fire.

#2: Son of Whyachi vs. Nightmare (CC S3 heavyweights)

Result: Son of Whyachi, KO 0:48

One of the most iconic fights in BattleBots history and still to this day the most spectacular KO. Two lethal heavyweights came into the box, the big vertical spinning disc of Nightmare taking on the spinning hammers of Son of Whyachi. Everyone in the pits had to be thinking “This is gonna be one hit one way or the other.”

When the two bots finally met in the center of the Box, Nightmare got popped by a hellraiser intended for the holding its ground Son of Whyachi. The hellraiser shot meant that Nightmare was airborne, which meant that Jim Smentowski couldn’t turn into the blow the way he wanted to. So it was Whyachi hitting Nightmare flush, taking out both wheels and turning Nightmare over. After destroying Slam Job a fight earlier Nightmare got a taste of its own medicine. Bil Dwyer said it was going to be a classic and he was right. One hit. Simple as that.

#1: Son of Whyachi vs. Biohazard (CC S3 heavyweight final)

Result: Son of Whyachi, 29-16

I was going back and forth between this fight and the Nightmare fight for the top spot. That was the most spectacular knockout in BattleBots, but this fight had everything. The seemingly impregnable defense of the champion, Biohazard, looking to defend its crown. The challenger, Son of Whyachi, a rule-skirting robot that had done immense damage to its opponents.

The fight actually lived up to the hype. Both bots took a lot of damage, both teams leaving it all out there for the title. (You know, like they say about people.) SOW lost one of the braces for its spinning hammers early and took countless shots from the pulverizer, spinning around the bot instead of the hammers for quite a bit of time because that broken brace and being in the corner seemed to get it stuck. But the hammers were low enough to hit the 4-inch high Biohazard, which lost a front piece and the whole right side, in addition to whatever internal damage suffered from that kind of kinetic energy transfer. If a weapon that weighs 120 lbs. and has a 12-lb. hammer at the end of it hits something at 70 mph, it’s going to hurt whatever it hits, hinged titanium skirts be damned.

This was also one of the most controversial fights in history.  Both bots looked immobile at one point. Biohazard got the count started on it and then started moving again, and then the count started a second time later but it was still mobile on one side as it was counted out with 10 seconds left, leading to an abbreviated fight and a judges’ decision in favor of Son of Whyachi.

The aftermath also has to give this one the nod. The rules were re-written the following year thanks to Son of Whyachi. Walker robots had been given a 50% weight bonus (so instead of the heavyweight limit of 220 lbs a heavyweight walker could be up to 330), and Son of Whyachi’s camshaft shuffling motion, which I can’t describe because I don’t know how it works, counted. So SOW was 315 lbs.. BattleBots made the bonus only 20% and determined SOW as ineligible to get that bonus, so for the final two seasons the robot was re-classified as a super heavyweight, a division it had nowhere near the same success in. This was also Biohazard’s last loss in BattleBots, as it won the S4 and S5 championships.

So there you have it, congrats to Team Whyachi if they were to care about this unscientific list (I’d bet they don’t) for winning in both the #1 and #2 fights, which merits something I guess. Now onto some bookkeeping.

I am once again gone for the next two weeks and I assume Rikki will again more than capably fill these shoes. I will be able to come back for a preview of the finale and the after-season wrap-up when the builders probably have given out the Giant Bolts for Most Destructive, Best Design (and if not, then I will), the unofficial Giant Screw for most damaged robot that still lasted the round (Blacksmith by about ten seconds), and other awards that I’ll make up, like Fight of the Year, KO of the Year, some award for a robot that got screwed by match-ups (Blacksmith again) or least screwed by match-ups, Worst Judges’ Decision of the Year, and other serious and semi-serious awards that a recap post would probably give out.

Next, here are the updated bracket standings!

Personizzle (Tombstone over Bombshell, Yeti, Minotaur)-17 pts

BFC (Bronco over BETA, Lucky, Hypershock)-16 pts

Balls (Bronco over Tombstone, Bite Force, Witch Doctor)-15 pts

Covalent (Bombshell over Lucky, Tombstone, Bronco)-14 pts

Senor (Stinger over Minotaur, Tombstone, Witch Doctor)-12 pts

Blax (Ghost Raptor over Tombstone, Chomp, Hypershock)-10 pts

Rikki (Minotaur over Tombstone, Bite Force, Hypershock)-10 pts

Low Commander (Bronco over Bite Force, Tombstone, Son of Whyachi)-10 pts

Jerry Was a Shogun (Tombstone over Son of Whyachi, Bite Force, Bronco)-10 pts

Beerguyrob (Tombstone over Son of Whyachi, Bite Force, Bronco)-9 pts

There is a perfect bracket in the Reddit bracket contest that hopefully did not break the NDA because that would be kinda useless and that guy would probably get in trouble, right? In case you’re wondering, that final four is BETA, Chomp, Minotaur, and Poison Arrow, with Minotaur beating Chomp for the Nut. Keep that in mind!

Anyway, I’ll pick Tombstone over Brutus for spinner power reasons, Nightmare over BETA because I think Nightmare’s got a tough profile for the hammer to hit,  Yeti over Mega Tento because Mega Tento can’t take advantage of Yeti’s lack of armor, and, going against my bracket, Chomp over Bite Force, the spinning bar on Bite Force hasn’t looked that great, breaking down easily, and that’s basically all that matters this year for a decision, whose weapon breaks down first. (Shit, that bracket’s gonna be right, isn’t it.)