Your “He’s Probably Cut By Columbus Day” Monday Open Thread

NFL Weekend Injury & Early Cuts Round-Up:

  • Nice work, Mark Sanchez – Trevor Siemian has been named Denver’s Week 1 starter. Luke Kuechly is listed as day-to-day due to blood loss from his hard-on.
    • kudos to ESPN for going the extra mile and pondering if Siemian might be the worst Week 1 starter of all time.
    • …and now the trade rumours have begun.
  • Bryan Stork failed his [*Redacted] s physical, so the trade with New England has been voided. I guess things have changed since the Shanahan era.
  • Either the Browns are that bad or they’re not that desperate, but the Cowboys say they have no interest in trading for Josh McCown.
    • interesting sidenote – the Jets have been taking calls about their half-dozen remaining quarterbacks.
  • Proving necessity and desperation are two sides of the same coin, the Chargers and Joey Bosa finally figured things out.
  • Get ready for the combo of Mike Tirico and Doug Flutie, because that’s who NBC is putting together for two games when Al Michaels isn’t available due to his Haematomania.

Finally, so many HAWT TAEKS about Colin Kaepernick.

Ron Rivera, because it’s not about his quarterback, gave a First Amendment response. Jim Harbaugh had words about his former player. ESPN asked Steelers tackle & former Army Ranger Alejandro Villenueva for his thoughts, and he gave a suitably company man response:

“I don’t know if the most effective way is to sit down during the national anthem with a country that’s providing you freedom, providing you $16 million a year … when there are black minorities that are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan for less than $20,000 a year,” Villanueva said.

USA Today asked former teammate Alex Boone for his thoughts, and he didn’t hold back:

“It’s hard for me, because my brother was a Marine, and he lost a lot of friends over there,” Boone told USA TODAY Sports. “That flag obviously gives (Kaepernick) the right to do whatever he wants. I understand it. At the same time, you should have some (expletive) respect for people who served, especially people that lost their life to protect our freedom.

Robert Klemko of the MMQB provided some nuance by framing Kaep’s stance as a function of how he was raised to be his own man. Peter King, in true Wichita fashion, let his readers pass judgment. And – surprise! – a Facebook & Twitter poll found that someone was acting anti-American. Shockingly, ol’ PK actually picks a side:

A postscript: I like Kaepernick’s action. We want players to speak freely and tell the truth—until they do it, and then we want them back in the same boring mold. Good for Kaepernick to exercise his First Amendment right of free speech, which you rarely hear a current player do.

At this point, he doesn’t seem as much of a shill. I’m sure that’ll change by the time he takes the mic opening night later in the article. Included at #1 in his “Quotes of the week”:

“Regardless of how you feel about things that are going on in America today, and the things that are going on across the world with gun violence and things of that nature, you’ve got to respect the flag, and you’ve got to stand up with your teammates. It’s bigger than just you, in my opinion. I think you go up there, you’re with a team, and you go and you know you pledge your allegiance to the flag and sing the national anthem with your team and then you go about your business, whatever your beliefs are.”
—Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz, on Colin Kaepernick.

If you tacitly support someone, you don’t kneecap them later in the piece, even if you try and blameshift by having the quote be from someone else.

______________________________________________

I wonder if people realize that it’s things like this that make non-Americans shake their heads. Of course it’s a false equivalency, but why does it seem like Americans get more upset about a song than mass shootings? Every sporting event I’ve ever been to involved the phrase “Please join us and rise for the national anthem.” It’s never been a demand, but a show of respect. I’m a guest; I stand.

Remember how Canadian-upset people got when Dwayne Wade kept warming up during the Canadian anthem? He gave a suitably Canadian apology and we got over it.

Gabby Douglas won a gold medal, and all some people could do was complain that she didn’t stand “properly” for the anthem. At a Seahawks game once, some Trump voter tapped me on the shoulder because I didn’t have my hand over my heart while standing. When I ignored him, he did it again, so I told him “IT’S NOT MY FUCKING SONG!”

But not this classy.

I’m not going to claim to understand simply because I’ve seen “Fruitvale Station”, or claim I don’t get upset when someone disrespects an anthem’s performance (Canadian or otherwise), but it comes across as attacking the messenger to avoid dealing with the real issue. I’m sure it’ll be an election topic by Thursday.

Oh wait – it’s here already. (Via Deadspin)

https://soundcloud.com/buzzfeedandrew/trump-criticizes-kaepernick


Back on August 4th, I posed this scenario in the open thread:

With Kellen Moore hurt and Dak Prescott nowhere near ready, the Cowboys need a backup quarterback.

Well PRAISE BE TO BLEERGH! we now have part of this prophecy already come true.

Cliff Avril has done BLEERGH’s work and sidelined Tony Romo for 8-10 weeks of pie eating rehab. Based on the first half in Seattle, it appears Dak Prescott appears cromulent enough for the Cowboys to start the season with him. Now they have to find him a backup. WHO WILL BACK THE DAK ATTACK?!

/wishes he had photshop skills

Also enjoyable is the dredging up of a name from the past, and turning it into a verb. “Will Romo be Bledsoe’d?” highlights coverage at both Florio’s Word Deli and Petey King’s Sampler Pak. Helping the analogy is actual history on the Cowboys, but failing to bring up how it’d happened to him twice really feels like a shortcoming.

Happiest camper of the day? Dan Snyder, who can actually imagine a second consecutive division title. Just thinking about a home playoff date and all those surcharges to prices gives him a mighty boner. Why, he can’t straighten his leg he’s so excited.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Tennis – US Open – ESPN2 – 5:00
  • MLB: Mariners @ Rangers – 7:00
  • WWE – RAW – 8:00
  • OLN – “Manchester Mondays” – 10:00
    • for EPL fans who love or hate equally strong

Alternative Programming:

  • NBC:
    • American Ninja Warrior – 8-10:00
    • Running Wild with Bear Grylls – 10:00
      • tonight, he tries to kill Shaq

Lastly, RIP Gene Wilder. He’s finally reunited with Gilda.

If the comments aren’t filled with “Blazing Saddles” and “Young Frankenstein” gifs, I DON’T KNOW YOU PEOPLE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

1. Sometimes a co-worker plays Pandora radio station on an external speaker connected to their phone.
2. Another co-worker is a Steelers fan (…)

3. Steelers fan co-worker nearly creams himself when the Wiz Khalifa’s “Black and Yellow” comes on since it’s an unofficial Steelers anthem (I don’t get it, but I generally don’t like rap between 1998-2012ish).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UePtoxDhJSw

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have to post a picture of myself by 10:30 tomorrow to my schools site, because asking 15 generic questions about your life isn’t enough anymore for week 1 bullshit assignments. I haven’t decided if I am gonna shave off my terrible hobo beard. Plus side, fuck you for making me take a picture. But could also be found by an employer later if they are cheating and creating false log ins for colleges, which they are.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I had a photographer mom that took 3000 pics a year of me. My default reaction is run and hide when someone pulls out a camera now.

Brocky

you know, I understand teacher’s needing a visual aide for keeping track of students, but man the amount people change from freshman year is absurd.

definitely don’t shave, mess with the establishment as much as possible.

Brocky

also, did you see my snafu on the yahoo league site?, just checking

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Yeah, should I delete brocky 2?

Brocky

yes, with extreme prejudice.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I saw it minutes after it happened. I just didn’t know where to ask

Brick Meathook

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TRUE STORY: Kitten Natividad performed in a burlesque floor-show at a bar in Los Angeles back in the 90’s. She walked over and stood right in front me, dressed in a see-through neglige. Took took my right arm and drew it towards her chest, picked up one or her boobs, and dropped it right into the palm of my hand. It just happened right out of the blue. I think I mumbled something stupid like “Thanks. Golly.” And then she moved on. Must’a weighed 20 pounds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

We may only be #3 in total skulls listed for sale online but we’re #1 in per capita skulls listed for sale online NJ WOO

http://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/scalefit_630_noupscale/57c07d151700000011c75b8d.png

Brick Meathook

California beats Nevada every time.

Sill Bimmons

How on earth is it possible that there are no skulls listed for sale in West Virginia?

Oh, right. You have to have electricity before you can make the computer turn on to post the online listing.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Wooo! Missouri had the highest non-legitimate sale ratio! Woooooooooo!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Sill Bimmons

IT MAKES IT LOOK LIKE YOU’RE YELLING EVEN MORE THAN IT USED TO LOOK LIKE WHEN YOU WERE YELLING

Sill Bimmons

REPLY FAIL

Brick Meathook

I CAN’T HEAR YOU

Sill Bimmons

HOW ABOUT NOW

Brick Meathook

YEAH THAT’S BETTER

Brick Meathook

IS THIS HOW YOU UNDERLINE?

Brick Meathook

nope

Brick Meathook

I’M GONNA WRITE LIKE THIS FROM NOW ON

Sill Bimmons

So this exists:

http://www.dallasnews.com/business/headlines/20150721-nb_21club2.jpg.ece/BINARY/w940/NB_21Club2.jpg

It’s in the DFW airport so all the fans who aren’t from there can Git Thur Cowboy Ahn while they’re waiting to make their connecting flight back to wherever they’re from.

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I went to the batting cages today for the first time in, basically forever. My back is totally fucked already.

Sill Bimmons

Vitality is wasted on the young just as wisdom is wasted on the old.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My kingdom for greater core flexibility.

Sill Bimmons

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think him and Bridget are gonna work out. Of course in my mind it is Bridget Regan and him is actually me

http://24.media.tumblr.com/685bb1f34fd8276f3415564b6949d760/tumblr_mv52eappHB1sww4emo1_r1_500.gif

Sill Bimmons

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Brick Meathook

INTERESTING:

The posts in this new format go chronologically top-to-bottom, yet the replies to a post go chronologically bottom-to-top. Hmmmm……

Sill Bimmons

It’s a mixed-up muddled-up shook-up world.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

DTZM spent 8 hours yesterday trying to fix that. I might have been the one that brought it up

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I presume I’m not the only one who missed our fearless leader’s Browns preview, so flagging:

https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2016/08/29/the-factory-is-open-for-business/

I want to make sure this isn’t the dumpster fire in the woods with no one around to hear it crackle.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So boat theme for the gifs. I got one you might like

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsdp3kPhai1r454hlo1_500.gif