“I did it so you don’t have to” – A Boots On The Ground Seahawks Game Experience

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

I, like most of you, enjoy the NFL. I also like attending the events, because museums and airplanes are full of babies, tourists and germs. Given the relatively high rates of vaccination in the US, combined with actually having had most airborne communicable diseases as a child, I find spending the money on going to events better than some forms of vacation. Being three hours from Seattle means it can be either a day trip (less drinking) or an overnighter at my brother’s up by Northgate (more drinking).

Seahawks games are always about mood. Given the relative recency of most fans fandom, there are always mitigating factors going into attendance:

  • weather
  • team record
  • team opponent
  • resale value of tickets

After 7 years, I believe I can say that opening day brings out the best and worst fans. Picture a beautiful day

Section 306 Row AA
Actual view from my seats – Section 306 Row AA

with fans full of optimism because nothing bad has happened yet (OR WILL!!1!11). There’s big talk and big spending, but also a fair number of Dolphins fans because a good number of the ‘faithful’ have decided to sell their opening day tickets because they have the most value (especially since the Niners went into the shitter) (sorry Covalent). It raises the level of aggro in the stands, because now you’ve got plenty of shit-talkers on both sides.

Admittedly, I have had my season tickets since 2010, so I do not claim to have been a supporter “since forever”. I was merely looking to satisfy a desire to actually have season tickets and take advantage of an exchange rate that made a Canadian dollar worth $1.05 US. (FYI: today’s exchange rate is $0.76.) Putting my beer tips on my credit card, I called up the Seahawks, and got immediate seats for two within 30 minutes – which should tell you about the state of the franchise because I ordered them in July 2010.

So I’ve been here for all this

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And I did have tickets for this, [edit – all videos became blocked after posting]

So, what I’m saying is that I’ve been in attendance for the whole recent bandwaggoning. Picture Patriot fans after their second Super Bowl – I know they’ve only won one, but between rantings about Bill Leavy and Malcolm Butler there’s a belief that they’ve deserved two.

Gameday always starts out roughly the same. After parking down by the Coast Guard base, I make my way to Henry’s Tavern on 1st for some cheap pre-game beverages.

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It has a nice atmosphere, and a solid beer list for an outdoor setting.

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Plus, they’ll let any clown in if they have valid ID.

Like this asshole
Like this asshole

So, then it’s off to the game.

 

After a brief stop at church,

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It’s time for the security gate.

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They have removed the mandatory pegging security had the wands for, and instead brought in metal detectors. Lines were long, but it took about half the time, so yay!

As a season ticket holder, I was promised an upgrade on the in-stadium experience. “Better food”, “more options”, and – my favourite – “enhanced beverage selections”. Walking in through the south entrance, you can actually see that the majority of the improvements went into the expensive sections.

Used to be a souvenir stand.
Used to be a souvenir stand.

 

Used to be just hot dogs & peanuts
Used to be just hot dogs & peanuts

 

On the upper deck, most were cosmetic or vendor changes. For example, this used to be the Shock Top – Rolling Rock station

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Now it’s a grab & go, inventively called “Grab & Go”, but with a choice of child & adult beverages. So, upgrade!

Most other stations got the “new options” treatment, like converting from “nacho stand” to “local cuisine”.

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On the whole, satisfactory. The key to me is that for every Bud Light tap, there is nearly a different micro offered at each station on my side/level.

Unless they RUN THE FUCK OUT DURING THE FIRST QUARTER!
Unless they RUN THE FUCK OUT DURING THE FIRST QUARTER!

 

The game itself – well, you saw that (sorry) on your TV.

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What you may not have seen – and what separates the type of fans who attend, was a halftime celebration for Jack Patera, the first Seahawks coach (1976-82), who was inducted into the Seahawks “Ring Of Honor”. They brought out Steve Raible, local Seahawks play-by-play announcer and 1977-81 Hawk receiver to emcee, and had representatives from each team he coached out on the field. It was quite genuine and respectful.

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Only half the fans cared. Luckily, they had him raise the 12 flag before kickoff, so everyone else would pay attention to his name for 5 minutes.

This is name, you assholes, not "who's that fucking guy?"
This is his name, you assholes, not “who’s that fucking guy?”

 

Shortly after this made the game interesting,

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and this made the game really interesting,

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all that was left was a swift exit, a moment to stop & watch two bros puff chests and their girlfriends scream about everything, and the walk back to the car.

There you have it. That’s a Seahawks game. Would I recommend going? Of course. Just don’t talk to someone in a Wilson or Sherman jersey, and especially a “12” jersey, because chances are they are the exact kind of poseur you just wanna slap. But yesterday was a good example of what you get: Fine pregame options; upgraded in-stadium offerings; somewhat relevant halftime festivities; which made the time pass much easier at a game I described as “a beautiful day spent with an ugly crowd at a game made of ass.”

I can’t wait for the 49ers to come to town.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Fronkenshteen

That looks like a pretty nice place to watch a game. Since I won’t be visiting Mr. Snyder’s Redacto-Bowl anytime soon, I’ll get my live NFL experience vicariously through you.
This was fantastic, man.

Don T

I liked this a lot. More stadium stuff.

Don T

Oh! And the video looks great h/t ??cabrone

ballsofsteelandfury

Awesome write-up! Did you end up spending the night in Seattle? I gotta figure the drive back to Vancouver must have been a biatch after the game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Very nice! We will need to try get these from more game-goers.

http://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/funny-gif-hobbit-movies-tv.gif

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

If you’ve never been, you should meet us over at The Hawks Nest on 1st Ave (next to the stadium) before the 49ers game… well, given there will be a metric fuck ton of people trying to get into the Nest during that day, maybe it’ll be a later game.

It’s a damn shame that what used to be called Tailgate Heaven is gone – Seattle’s Big Dig (haha oh what a joke) took care of it 6 years ago or so, but tailgating around the stadium used to be the thing to do. Now with the 2 condo buildings in the North parking lot, and no other large open area for tailgating, hitting up bars is really the only way to go for pre-game festivities.

I too, agree that you should never, in any circumstance, talk to any young person wearing a Wilson, Sherman, or 12 jersey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I realize these are owls, but I imagine something similar at the “Hawks Nest.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So… with a team back in LA; is “tailgating” going to be just a porn film shoot?

Wakezilla

Yeah, I found the tailgating to be too claustrophobic for my liking. Most of the people are friendly enough, but, it’s way too crowded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alcohol and opiates. Nevar a bad idea.
Shit….I gotta stay awake for two games? da Fuq?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t seen a video blocked so hard in my country due to copyright grounds since they stopped showing replays of Melania Trump’s speech.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

There was a dude in a SEA 12 jersey at the Cardinals game last night. My fiancee noticed it was the same number as all the Brady jerseys but the colors were off. When she looked to me for explanation, all I could muster was, “What a fucking asshole.”

I do appreciate that SEA has decent stadium food though (haven’t been to THE LINK but the Mariners game impressed me). It’s something I wish ARI would get behind but, frankly, our season is over along with our very short 2015-only Super Bowl window so I could give a damn what they feed those mouth-breathing troglodytes (who brought that term to DFO, btw?) who regularly attend the games of a team that is definitely going 0-16 this year.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

That game was balls bro.

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Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Make sure the whore is fresh, too.