Pinch Hitting Late Games Post

Apologies for the brevity and the lack of scotchy-level humour and insight…

Rams at Bucs (4:05, Fox)

Rapey Jameis and palz host the team that cannot offense. RedZone will surely show at least 5 plays from this thriller.

49ers at Seahawks (4:05, Fox)

So far, the SeaTruthers have looked awful shitty. That hypothesis will be put to the test in this one. First team to 10 wins. You can see why Fox is happy not to have double header coverage this fuckin’ week. Jeebus.

Jets at Chiefs (4:25, CBS)

One always wonders how the Jets will manage to Jets this one up, especially given the Chefs penchant for pulling undeserved wins out of their collective butthole. As far as I can tell, every Gang Green WR is injured, presumably with consumption.

Chargers at Colts (4:25, CBS)

BOLTMAN! is no doubt well-pleased with the early season competence, and viewers will no doubt be entertained by this defense-free matchup. Barn-raiser extraordinaire Andy Luck has to be feeling older than King Laserface of late, playing behind his tissue paper OL.

Steelers at Eagles (4:25, CBS)

Here’s the broadcast game pretty much everybody gon’ get. Which will mostly be DeAngelo and Antonio Brown carving the Iggle D a new asshole or seven, while Jeeeem and Pheeeel splooge all over each other about Carson Wentz’ poise. You’ll be very thankful for RedZone Channel, like you should always be.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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herodotus450

I have far too many Jeremy’s on my fantasy teams

Fitz must be colorblind today.

Redshirt

QB Taunting Penalty? Wow, BLEERGH is tough but fair.

Wakezilla

So, Kaep not getting any playing time is THE story of this week by the media in the NFL, or 2nd biggest story the media will talk about this week?

Sill Bimmons

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Dunstan

Brett Favre’s college girlfriend Rachel wasn’t prepared for the picture Brett would send back.

Romonobyl

Is that a taco, or…?

New School Zero

The Taquito Of Our Lord

Sill Bimmons

Now THAT’S a gawd I can believe in!

Spur

My Lethal Weapon and Kids

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I was going to save this for the end of the game, but it won’t get better.

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/9/94/Well_that_was_fucking_dreadful.gif

Wakezilla

Greatest. TV Series. Ever.

Their first movie was pretty rad too.

Sill Bimmons

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JustStopDude

You know what bugs the shit out of me about the Walking Dead? The zombies would be the least dangerous thing.

Former pets and escaped zoo animals would be taking survivors out left and right. Then you got lockjaw, rabies, blood poisoning, the common cold.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Hell, unattended nuclear facility meltdowns alone would pretty much wipe out the East Coast and PNW.

Dunstan

Is that true? My understanding is that nuclear reactors are configured such that being left unattended leads to shutdown, not meltdown.

JustStopDude

Pretty much. They are designed for the rods to fully insert automatically (Scram), and the system should have natural flow through heat immersion.

Even if that doesn’t happen, at least US built ones, are designed with containment.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’re assuming the NRC really justifies their paychecks through careful planning & surveying of the plants, and not just green-lighting everything they’re told to. Trust me, there’s far more of the latter than the former.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Best case maybe, but with the nuclear materials left unattended, a shutdown would be an eventual meltdown in any event. And if there’s other waste around, it’s a hazard as well.

The PNW for example, would be an issue due to millions of gallons of waste being left unattended. Some of that waste needs to be monitored & stirred constantly.

Also, containment vessels breaking down, water levels changing, hazard-recognition systems failing…yeah, they’d melt down.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t think Ben’s been this frustrated since the stall door was locked.

Wakezilla

Something off about this Seahawks defense in the 4th. I have no stats to back this claim, but, I swear they get worse in the 4th. They’ve been like this for 2-3 years now.

Bortleback

That’s the time when Wilson generally wakes up and starts playing football though, so it might not always be obvious

Redshirt

2nd & 40? 2nd & 40.

New School Zero

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herodotus450

Hines Ward was IMBA in that game

ThursdaySkyGoddess

What the XFL should have been.

Horatio Cornblower

The mostly outdoor cat who hates everyone by my daughter, and has only a grudging acceptance of her, has showed up at the house meowing at us and limping badly. I followed her until she disappeared under the bushes, where I found a chipmunk tail and head. I think she may be showing off, but if so that chipmunk went out like a Viking. Valhalla you stripey motherfucker.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Was it Chip or Dale?

Horatio Cornblower

Hopefully both.

New School Zero

Alvin: WITNESS ME!

Simon: MEDIOCRE!

Theodore: /is already dead

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to God’s ears.

New School Zero

San Diego BLEERGHS

New School Zero

PRAISE THE SUN COLORED LAUNDRY

Spur

Son of Zorn looks horrible

Horatio Cornblower

Not if you never watch it.

American Pie Story

Aw, our local news is so adorably optimistic that we’ll be “thrashing” the Jags in London.

Jiminy cricket

JustStopDude

Fuck I just realized I had wentz on my bench…

New School Zero

/sad trombone

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

TipFitzception!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Put Tiny Darren back in!

–Sproles’s wife, probably

Romonobyl

Colts vs Bolts, at least it’s a game.

Romonobyl

Finally!

Shogun Marcus

Cbs mercy-ruling Pitt/Eagles. Bolt/Clots!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m stuck with it. 🙁

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

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Recovery Whiskey

Garbagedown Niners

Spur

Am all for celebrating the Steelers getting absolutely worked but Fuck Philly.

JustStopDude
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Whenever I am about to make a Jameis joke my iPod always seems to shuffle to Rapeman.

Sill Bimmons
laserguru

Bleergh will indeed be pleased after today.

Redshirt
JustStopDude

I really fucking wish, just cause the Philly game is on here, that I lived within driving distance of a Wawa.

Sill Bimmons

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

They call vomiting distance.

I think it’s Metric

JustStopDude

Dude…all I got around me are Sheetz.

Great if you want to get a terrible burger, some menthols, and some crank from a barefooted pregnant woman next to the dumpster.

New School Zero

I don’t understand penalties sometimes. That was DPI and not OPI? FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

34-3 in a non Pennsylvania market should be enough for CBS to switch to the Colts-Bolts game. Fuck you, NFL.

Spanky Datass

This!

Wakezilla

I’m not sure I’m ready to live in a world where Doug Baldwin is considered a high end receiver.

Recovery Whiskey

Its only Chip Kelly’s defense

Spur

Once there is enough tape on Wentz the other D Coordinators can really plan for him. Then we’ll really see what he’s got.

Remember Sam Bradfords first few games.

Romonobyl

Off topic, but how many of you have used Uber? I need to get out of this hotel but no way am I driving. I already have the app.

Dunstan

Use it all the time. Beats the hell out of taxis.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are you 76 years old? Uber is great, as long as you can hold your nose on their labor practices and general douchebaggery.

Romonobyl

My home city banned it due to their lack of security measures.

Dunstan

You misspelled “because the taxi companies own city government.”

Spur

I use it for travel and planned drinking nights. Es bueno.

Recovery Whiskey

Depending on the city Uber is great. I use it fairly often in Seattle. But we are one of those cities

JustStopDude

That’s some quality tackling….

Gratliff

Game, blouses!

JustStopDude
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who are these people, and why aren’t they pitching it to Sproles?

Gratliff

One more score, and it’ll be safe to go make dinner

American Pie Story

Not Goredown!

Redshirt

C’mon. Bring on, Kap. Time for him to face the music!

laserguru

The day would be close to a complete success apart from picking Arizona in the suicide league.

Week 3 strikes again goddammit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, Roberto Aguayo missed another field goal today, so that second round pick continues to get funnier.

Gratliff

Brady-esque!

Sill Bimmons