Your “My Head Really Hurts, Do I Have To Watch This Game?” Late SNF Open Thread

Yes…yes you do have to watch this game.  There’s Advil® in the cabinet, I suggest you utilize it.  And stay hydrated.

It’s been a looooong day of derp and bleergh already.  Some of which the NFL exported across the pond.  I’ll leave the comical recap-ish quips to my good friend, El Hippo tomorrow morning.  But I will say this:

The bestest thing that ever came out of London was this….

alice-eve

Sexiest Alice in ever.  Call me, Alice.  Please.

But sadly, if she does finally lift the restraining order, I’ll be too tired and too inebriated to do anything about it.  Up yours, London.  Starting footballing at 9:30am is surprisingly not so great.  tWBS not so great at the slow burn as it turns out.  Hopefully Alice will understand when the blood flow cannot be diverted properly.  No good deed…etc., etc.

KC @ Pitt

The last time out, the Steelers got punched in the mouth hard by the Eagles.  I mean lead pipe to the mandible level hard.  Like, spitting out teeth hard.  I was embarrassed for them.  Seriously.  In spite of being a Ratbirds homer, the Steelers do happen to be my 2nd.  I know, I’m weird.  At home tonight, they’ll be looking to show themselves and the world that they are not the giant vaginal orifices they appeared to be last week.

KC comes in after a convincing win over the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets last week.  But then again, it was the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets.  So there ya go.  Andy Reid was already working the clock as only he can immediately after that one….

“It’s important we enjoy this today and then get ourselves ready for the Steelers. We have a ton of room to improve – absolutely. We have a lot of things we can take out of this and we’ll do that work,” Reid said after the win on Sunday.

Both clubs come in with 2-1 marks.  The Steelers have a -3 advantage according to Vegas.  Both teams have a lot of question marks on both sides of the ball.

Hey, it’s football.  And it could be worse.  It could be NYG @ Minny.

/looks at schedule for MNF tomorrow

Really?  Sonofabitch!!!!!

Try to stay conscious ppl.  Rapey McGrayPenis might forcibly mount Andy Reid by halftime.  You wouldn’t want to miss that.

Ok, maybe you would 😉

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

Just remember kids. At the end of the day, win or lose, Trump’s supporters are losers like he is. They support him because they are losers. And nothing that happens from November 8 onward will change the fact that they are losers. Fuck them.

...

But there are so damned many of them, you can’t help but fear what they could do.

Dunstan

Yeah, but a disproportionate number of them are old. And a lot of the others are just bullies — they’ll yell a lot of shit to reporters at a rally where they have a 1,000-to-1 numbers advantage, but that’s about it. I doubt many of them are going to take up Trump’s suggestion to go to a polling precinct in black neighborhoods in Philly.

Unsurprised

I don’t care what they do. They’re losers. Anything they try to do they will fuck up. Because, again, they’re losers.

WCS

If you listen closely, you can hear Otto weeping from his secret, secure bunker somewhere in the Ozarks.

Gratliff

Venturing dangerously close to on-air rape jokes now

King Hippo

well, at least Tiny Hands has enough time…AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Senor Weaselo

NOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH

Unsurprised

The best part of a real life TEOTWAKI is that the people best suited to survive are immigrants and minorities. Whitey is fucked. The revolution cannot come soon enough

Sill Bimmons

HATE THE NAME LOVE THE GAMEDOWN WOO

Senor Weaselo

Am I the only one who gets mad at the way NBC does their bumper scoreboard so the ones digit DOESN’T FUCKING LINE UP?

Unsurprised

It would seem so

King Hippo

perhaps when he gets out, The Juice can try to brand his own line of toilet wine? Would make for a fun Christmas office gift.

...

I was perusing post-apocalyptic books on Amazon and more than one of these books had in the description, “Warning: This book is not politically correct.” Of course, that mean it’s a right-wing jack material about how terrible all liberals will be when Russia/China/United Islamist Republic decide to finally murder us all because they HATE AMERICA.

I guess Amazon allows a lot of shit to get published and sold.

Sill Bimmons
King Hippo

teh white straight Christian male is the real endangered species ,, ppl forget that imo godbless

Unsurprised

In a perfect world

Sill Bimmons
Unsurprised

No one, because fuck him and everyone like him.

...

It’s always funny to see these white supremacists as they’re almost always mediocrity incarnate both physically and mentally. No superior race is being bred and reared by these loons.

Sill Bimmons

White skin, blue eyes and blond hair are all deleterious mutations brought on by inhospitable climate and nutrition.

Gratliff

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Sill Bimmons

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JerBear50

Thier just telling it like it is. If your offended dont read so much.

Unsurprised

They sell books where people fuck dinosaurs.

Which makes your point even more valid because these wing nut books are even stupider and poorly made than those.

...

I was just so used to reading professionally written descriptions of books that it was a bit jarring to see these obviously less-quality books being offered up along side some decent pieces of fiction. I definitely chuckled at a few of these stories.

Sill Bimmons

MOAR BUBBLE SCREENS THAN HALEY AND ARIANS COMBINED

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

And my personal favorite Weekend Update joke:

“In Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his 8-year old daughter to take the wheel of his car and an accident ensued that damaged 7 other cars and injured 6 people. Which once again proves my theory, women can’t drive.”

JerBear50

And German women can’t drive while loving David Hasselhoff.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“This week after a Los Angeles restaurant refused to seat him, OJ Simpson demanded and got $500 in compensation. In addtion, the restaurant must now offer separate murderer and non-murderer sections.”

King Hippo

separate BUT EQUAL??

Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

why was that Chef sucking on a pacifier? Is there also a rave going on??

Sill Bimmons
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“In a highly unusual ruling, the California state supreme court declared this week that OJ Simpson attorney Alan Dershowitz is, quote, ‘one ugly bastard.'”

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JerBear50

BRING BACK SPORTS SHOW!!!

Unsurprised

Especially his soul. Or what passes for it.

Dunstan

GE Engineer woman is the new Lily from AT&T

Dunstan

I still love you, Lily. I have enough unrequited lust to go around.

Senor Weaselo

Flying block!

King Hippo

womp womp

Sill Bimmons

The courts may not think THE BEN is guilty but the fucking refs do.

If TAWWWWMY took 1% of the flagrant late hits THE BEN takes with no flags P*ts fans would lose their fucking minds.

King Hippo

NAWT FAYUHHHHH (HARF!)

Dunstan

That implies that they haven’t already lost their minds over Deflategate. We’ve got footage of Ben Affleck to the contrary,

JerBear50

Also Bill Burr’s podcast twice a week.

Lothar of the Hill People

Sill, Tawmmy is in a league unto himself. I’m not disputing your point about Ben, but Tawmmy is not the comparison. No QB in the league–not even Rodgers–gets anything near the treatment Tawmmy gets.

I think Roethlisberger and Newton take a lot more abuse without flags than other QBs mainly because they’re so big. Refs see them as the same size (or bigger) as some of the guys hitting them and think, ‘well, that’s not a penalty.’

Senor Weaselo

3rd and 29? BLITZ!

Dunstan

Come on, Steelers. You’re falling off the 88-0 pace.

WCS

3rd and 29?

NFL BLITZ!

Senor Weaselo

Damn, beat me to it.

Spur

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

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Unsurprised

There’s still time

Spur

The Cowboys are 3-1 with a rookie QBcomment image

packman_jon

Setting up for another hilarious December letdown

Dunstan

Nice to see the surviving members of Loverboy getting work

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Andy Reid blows
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Spanky Datass

So three crotch thrusts by A. Brown “Got him fifteen yards” adds up to five yards of penis per stroke? Seems about right…

Sill Bimmons

hey

got loaded banh mi and summer rolls from the place near my hotel

Spanky Datass

suh due
leftover spaghetti and grilled meatballs here

Spur

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Col. Duke LaCross

Extremely underrated dumb action flick.

Spur

A steelers blowout…..means vodka and HOTS

...

Three pumps. If he had stopped at two…

Gratliff

Rapey is looking Carson Wentz-esque

Spur

Is there a reason the rapist couldn’t play like this last week?

Dunstan

I haven’t seen Chiefs get fucked this bad since Andrew Jackson

ThursdaySkyGoddess
Senor Weaselo

Brown gave three pumps, that’s a flag.

Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FUCKING CELEBRATION FOULS

Gratliff

This team doesn’t know the meaning of “STOP”

...

Welp I might just go to bed.

Lothar of the Hill People

Andy Reid, Super-Genius.

Sill Bimmons

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Spur
Senor Weaselo

Again?

Redshirt

You have one job Punter. ONE JOB!

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE HERPS THAT ARE FIT TO DERP

Claymaker

This offense is predicated on sustaining horrible injuries for small gains.

Andy Reid, on the Battle of the Somme

Sill Bimmons

The Haig/Reid Corollary

Moonbatting Average

Where else can you get quality WWI NFL jokes? Nowhere, that’s where

Spur

God I hate the Steelers. This is all your fault Cincy, for years you should have put this fuckers in their place.

WCS

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Redshirt

If we’ve learned one thing from the last two Steelers-Bengals games, its this.

Search your feelings, Steeler Nation. You know it to be true!

http://i.imgur.com/Q48dLrM.png

Senor Weaselo

And there’s us! Wait, don’t run faster!