I don’t think that anything can top the magnificence of the Giants/Rams tilt but the league insists otherwise. And I once trusted the NFL implicitly just like I trusted my mother when she told me as an 8 year old that my dad was the scum of the earth. Irony Alert! Once I got to know him, my dad turned out to be a regular guy with faults. Once I got to know the NFL, I discovered that it was incompetence and evil competing for “incarnate” status. Mom, you got my dad and the NFL confused. Do better next time, huh? TO THE GAMES!

TB/SF-Rb’s Hyde and Muscle Hamster are out of this one so that means that Carleton, Rogers, Thurston, Menses, Davis and Draughn will have to step up for their respective teams. Perhaps a few of these names aren’t on any roster but you don’t care because there is not the remotest possibility that you’ll be watching this tilt.

SD/Atl-Them Chargers haven’t had a two game win streak since 2014. Congrats to all those folks that picked up te Henry and his 3 consecutive TD’s. He looks like a good one, doesn’t he? There’s a lot to like about the Falcons O-wr Jones and rb’s Freeman and Coleman are so talented that they have masked qb Ryan’s weaknesses to this point. Of course Door Matt will fold in the playoffs once he runs into a first rate D but it’s a great ride for the time being. Say a prayer for poor old Tiffany Rivers-despite no news confirming it, my gut feeling is that she’s preggers again. Asked to comment, Heraclitus said, “Goddamn, that’s more Rivers than even I envisioned!”

NE/Pit-This is the game I want to see. What? Big Ben is out? Landry Jones is in? Why can’t we NFL fans have nice things? Is it because the league commish continues to touch himself while watching the Push-Up Championships on ESPN Infinity? Will the Steelers feed rb Bell until he drops from exhaustion? Can anyone on the Steelers D cover te’s Gronk and Bennett? (Where have you gone, Carnell Lake?-apologies to Simon and Garfunkel) These are the salient questions that determine the victor of this game/constitute the entirety of this intro.

I’m done-GO GET ‘EM, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN!!!