Sunday Night FOOTBAW!! Game Thread – Week 7, 2016

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

Hey, doesn’t that feature pic make you want to cheer FOAR the SeaTruthers, nanobubbles and all?

Seattle at Arizona (8:30, NBC)

After a dominant Monday Night win over the Jest, Arizona is 2-4 and thinking just maybe they can make a run at 10-6 or 11-5 and be that hot, dangerous wild card team that nobody wants to face in the playoffs. They do feature the best runner AND pass-catching back in the league, after all. Perhaps Bruce Arians finally understands this obvious fact. Hell, a sweep of Seattle and the division is even in play. But it all has to start tonight.

On the other sideline, Minnesota’s loss opens up that top overall seed again, and the first round bye is always a prime consideration regardless. If you want that, one needs to win “separation” games like this one. Both teams have a lot to play for, and the top playmakers are reasonably healthy, so it should be a worthy teevee experience.

Tis MANDATORY for Commentists in good standing anyway, so I shall see you in the comments below.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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UnsurprisedKing HippoMarc Trestmans Windowless VanballsofsteelandfuryBrocky Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I caught this after watching MTWV’s Major League link. It’s hilarious.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I wrote that in 20 min in a text file 14 hours of football drunk with minimal editing. Sorry if there are errors.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A true tour de force.

That was actually really good.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am gonna write 2 spec scripts to highlight what I think is wrong with all modern superhero/supernatural shows

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Monkey Business: I have you trapped and handcuffed and I am gonna kill you unless you do my bidding. My plan is going forward.

MTWV: NOOOO!

MB: But I have you held hostage and have your friends and have a huge group of followers that I gained by threatening them. They must be loyal. Here, have a gun. ::gives gun for no reason:: Shoot me if you think I won’t kill your friends after I die

MTWV: ::holds gun at his face and shudders in fear and doesn’t fire:: I could never kill you. I have a code.

MB: I just saw you shoot 40 people

MTWV: I can’t shoot you though!

MB: HA HA HA! I knew it, you came to my side. You will exactly what I say from now on.

MTWV: But you are gonna destroy the planet. I can’t let that happen.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

MB: ::slaps MTWV across the face:: You will do what I say.

MTWV: NEVER!

MB: I have a tiny dick

MTWV: How is that relevant to the conversation?

MB: I was just jealous of the 52mL guy so I haMonkey Business: I have you trapped and handcuffed and I am gonna kill you unless you do my bidding. My plan is going forward.

MTWV: NOOOO!

MB: But I have you held hostage and have your friends and have a huge group of followers that I gained by threatening them. They must be loyal. Here, have a gun. ::gives gun for no reason:: Shoot me if you think I won’t kill your friends after I die

MTWV: ::holds gun at his face and shudders in fear and doesn’t fire:: I could never kill you. I have a code.

MB: I just saw you shoot 40 people

MTWV: I can’t shoot you though!

MB: HA HA HA! I knew it, you came to my side. You will exactly what I say from now on.

MTWV: But you are gonna destroy the planet. I can’t let that happen.d to bring it up

MTWV: Really, smaller than that?

MB: ::hits with the butt end of his gun::

[cut to MTWV in front of his friends being held hostage]

MB: Your friend is just a pawn under me and you are now mine, join my side and die in a horrific fashion! … But on my terms, because fuck it I forgot to think the logic through. Did I mention my tiny dick?

MTWV: They will never give in to your rule, even if you kill me

MB: Maybe you will if I kill your friend tWBS ::shoots tWBS::

MTWV: YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU? Ok, I give into everything.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Epilogue

tWBS: ::wakes up in a body bag:: … OMG, I’m alive! And now I have the skills of a ninja

Sexy Coroner: Hey, whats up good looking?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Part 2 without the weird insert of part 1 in the middle for no reason

MB: ::slaps MTWV across the face:: You will do what I say.

MTWV: NEVER!

MB: I have a tiny dick

MTWV: How is that relevant to the conversation?

MB: I was just jealous of the 52mL guy so I had to bring it up

MTWV: Really, smaller than that?

MB: ::hits with the butt end of his gun::

[cut to MTWV in front of his friends being held hostage]

MB: Your friend is just a pawn under me and you are now mine, join my side and die in a horrific fashion! … But on my terms, because fuck it I forgot to think the logic through. Did I mention my tiny dick?

MTWV: They will never give in to your rule, even if you kill me

MB: Maybe you will if I kill your friend tWBS ::shoots tWBS::

MTWV: YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU? Ok, I give into everything.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Second story

Monkey Business: I have you trapped and handcuffed and I am gonna kill you unless you do my bidding. My plan is going forward.

MTWV: NOOOO!

MB: But I have you held hostage and have your friends and have a huge group of followers that I gained by threatening them. They must be loyal. Here, have a gun. ::gives gun for no reason:: Shoot me if you think I won’t kill your friends after I die

MTWV: ::shoots him in the face::

Brocky

comment image

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ugh, I don’t understand when writers write shit that is absolutely fucking stupid and call it drama. This show is one of the worst offenders.

laserguru

I had multiple conversations with girls!
They ask asked what I did and I downplayed the whole national defense thing because it’s not a turn on and I told them that I’m a dick joke blogger who has recipes.

We have new readers!

I think it was Mr winkles that did it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Dear nice ladies yeah right met tonight. My joke earlier was vulgar and I am a terrible person, not yeah right. I wanted to end a list of boring stuff that happened on a joke.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I say boring but it was really fun all day

ballsofsteelandfury

I really hope they’re not Rams fans. They may not like tomorrow’s Rams Bye Week update…

Brocky

screw it. i’m sleepin…

may your dreams be filled with ties.

neck ties.

twist ties

tie ins

cher

bow ties

and hog ties.

litre_cola

Just got off a plane. Was this the will of the commentists to make this happen?

Brocky
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Brocky

I sometimes confuse bob barker and bob uecker

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

So what I miss?

Oh.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

A London game, no more explanation needed. An early slate with 10,000 unforced errors. It was fun to watch. Late afternoon games were meh. Then we here at the site magically willed a 6-6 tie to the late game.

In other news…. I think Zymm has someone passed out of her couch? I’m not sure, I missed 30 minutes and read all the comments in reverse order. BFC was traveling and hated it. Brick cooked chili and yeah right is trolling for strange in a hotel bar. I obviously was just here all day.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I can’t remember if yeah right is married, if so I take back my sarcastic version of what I said about him. He just went to a bar.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I fucked up meeting up with ThePirateSloth because I’m irresponsible

Brocky

so i completely fell off the walking dead bandwagon, is it really worth getting back on?

did it make the rare tv comeback?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If you left during the farm season yes. Otherwise, no, it kept its flaws for the most part. There are a lot of bright spots but also a lot of bad.

Brocky

I lost interest when the prison got blown up and they were all seperated, then a hospital,

fuck that was like 2 years ago. what the hell happened to my memory?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Allow me to just bash your skull in now and save you the trouble.

Brocky

keeping the theme of the night going:

comment image

laserguru

I’ve decided that my classy as fuck hotel bar drink of choice is the Manhattan.

Buffalo Trace please.

Classy!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, since I am still laughing I am gonna watch John Oliver before I finish what I missed of TWD

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Same here about TWD. I had to stop watching when (redacted) got bludgeoned. I expected/called (redacted) to get it, but not (redacted) even though that’s what happened in the comics. Well played TWD. G’nite, ya’ll.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Sharper’s Sleepers vs. King Hippo Chuh Chuh

232.40 Points 215.00
183.45 Orig Proj 253.78
232.40 Live Proj 215.00

Brocky

the gif is so fucking hilarious in hindsight

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“It ends here after 75 minutes of … ‘action?'”

Redshirt

HA!

Field Gulls
@FieldGulls
Seahawks all-time record vs Cardinals going into tonight was 17-17. Was set to break the tie. It remains tied.

laserguru

I have a love hate relationship with hotel bars. It’s great that you meet random strangers and can stumble back to your room but it turns out some of the strangers are dick bags.

ballsofsteelandfury

And then there are the good sexy strangers…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stop talking about me.

Brocky

I like to believe the collective will power of this board caused this.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Redshirt

If this was the playoffs, it would’ve gone to triple overtime and we would’ve had an answer on if there’s a 2nd halftime.

Senor Weaselo

Last team standing?

Senor Weaselo

Also I just googled and apparently the answer is no, but there’s a re-kick like it’s the 3rd quarter. There’s another coin toss after the 4th overtime if something ever gets that far.

Redshirt

If it goes to 5 OTs, some players are going to die from exhaustion on the field.

WCS

https://twitter.com/EricJGarland/status/790405725847588864

Pete Carroll reaction dot gif (sorta)

Senor Weaselo

“Both sides’ll be thinking long and hard about this one.”

Yeah, that’s about right, both these teams deserve a timeout.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD ABOUT THE CUBS V INDIANS WORLD SERIES

ballsofsteelandfury

How many seals are there to be broken?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Put it this way…we’re screwed, hoard water.

blaxabbath

Well, Arizona’s season is done.

ballsofsteelandfury

Now I can go to work tomorrow and not be ashamed of half-assing it.

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