Week 8 Color Assault: Jaguars @ Titans Open Thread

Don T

Don T

Poor choices, mixed results.
¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre!
Titans4Eva
Don T

Hello fans, this is the NFL. The Official Beer withdrew from this game and wanted to issue a statement. The parties settled for an undisclosed amount and a hashtag: #Out4Turdsday. So tonight the NFL hosts an Open Bar, albeit with only two selections. Indulge freely on room temperature Olde English; independent NFL sommeliers certified that cold enhances its urine-y bouquet. Also on tap, the cloying vibrancy of Blue Curaçao, neat, for more “refined” palates. After all, the NFL is an inclusive family. You, the children, get the AFC South cellar squatters. Like it, lump it, or have other delusions of choice. We own you. Shield out.

Two teams that stink: that’s the reality narrative. But let’s not crown this TNF game as Why NFL Ratings Are Down just yet. The Titans have a solid O-line and DeMarco Murray is scorching hot. He has 5 TDs, is averaging almost four receptions a game (7 yards per) and 4.6 yards per rush, which does not tell the whole story. He is being a very patient runner, allowing holes to develop and then shifting from 1st to 4th gear instant and determinedly. BUT, Murray is precisely on pace for the deadly 370-carry season AGAIN. I expect Derrick Henry to get more action. The Titans coaching staff is creeping toward dereliction of duty, since Henry is getting, on average, six touches per game (37 rush, 4.4 yards per; 5 receptions, 14 yards per). I don’t wanna exaggerate, but he’s a friggin’ supersonic tank.

To temper these actual reasons to watch, sub Brian Schwenke will start at LG. He was Culprit Zero of last Sunday’s 4th Quarter sack-Oh Not Again-fumble-TD that sealed the Colts game. TE Delanie Walker is good to go, which is great news for Marcus Mariota. His overall passing has been shaky at best, but good during 4th quarters. On the other hand, his running is magnificent: he doesn’t look fast, but outruns everybody. I’d say designed QB runs are a good bet, as Mariota also slides expertly. Sadly, no worthwhile KY jokes come to mind.

The Jaguars passing game may wake up against the bad Tennessee secondarynow worse because Perrish Cox is out. Hence, Brice McCain takes over the most picked-on-CB roster spot. The Tennessee front seven should [please, god(s)] bounce back from their worst game thus far. Jacksonville has the fewest rushing attempts in the league and is 27th in average yards per (3.7). But even if Blake Bortles continues to struggle, the Jaguars may get help. The Titans have the most penalized defense in the NFL (9 per game) and a special teams unit that’s gotten worse since they fired coach Bobby April after Week 4. In lieu of further number-crunching, this smashing video essay by our own Notorious R-T-D provides a concise assessment of the Jaguars and its fans.

Plenty has been written about how Jacksonville and Tennessee shouldn’t be on prime time, but an intriguing tale of rapaciousness came out of one of those games. It was Monday Night Football, October 18, 2010, Titans at Jacksonville. Tennessee was leading 23-3 in the 4th quarter, just before the two minute warning, with possession inside Jaguars territory. According to then Titans coach Jeff Fisher, he was told that the broadcast needed two additional TV timeouts, and referee Mike Carey intervened:

“Yesterday, I was told that they were two short. And they looked at me and smiled, and I said, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you.’ Mike [Carey] came across and said, ‘Here’s the deal. We’re two short.’ And I said, ‘Mike, I can’t help you. I’m trying to get a first down and I’m gonna kneel on it” [via ten.27sports.com]. 

After the two minute warning, then Jags coach Jack del Rio called two time outs–despite being down 23-3. Chris Johnson scored a garbage time TD and the game ended 30-3. Days later, a laughably homerish report from jacksonville.com said that ESPN did not request, directly or indirectly, time outs to be calledyet Jack del Rio did not address why he called them. I don’t know which is worse: Jeff Fisher, Integrity Of The Game Paragon, or referees carrying water for the networks. To be fair, this happened two years before the referee lockout, or maybe Carey and/or Del Rio shilled heartily. Who knows.

On a wholly different vibe, I’ve campaigned hard for muting the game broadcast and listening to something else. Well, fellow Commentists from the Free Ballin’ Football Podcast dropped their Week 8 edition today, available on SoundCloud and iTunes. Their fluid repartee would be a needed contrast if/when the game turns to shit. The FBFP fellas also have intriguing points on NFL ratings. I, on the other hand, don’t think the NFL really cares that much about TV ratings. The league just centralized real-time gifs and the networks are on the contractual hook for several years. When aggregate advertising revenue in all [sigh] platforms stop growing, then the NFL will worry–big time. But I digress; you can hit the FBFP crew on Twitter too. I’m sure they’ll #followback #HINT

Finally, I won’t be able to watch because my satellite provider carries Sunday Ticket BUT NOT NFL NETWORK WHICH MAKES NO SENSE WHATSOEVER EVEN FROM A CAPITALIST PIG POINT OF VIEW. I’ll catch up on the comments after work, though I encourage everyone to branch out–for example: what discount rotgut or classy beers are you having; that aggressive apathy that is taking the Internet by storm; or tales of live streams that will not fry your computer. Come to think of it, any live streaming links are almost certainly illegal. And while an insanity defense certainly would acquit, nobody wants the stigma of having risked criminal charges over JAX-TEN.

Stats from pro-football-reference.com; banner pic from two web photos from retailers. Yoooge props to Scotchnaut for letting me vent about my team. Thanks man.

Don T
Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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Marc Trestmans Windowless VanMoose -The End Is Well NighALXMACBrockyBeerguyrob Recent comment authors
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Brocky
ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

In this new format your avatar is still far more terrifying that that dog

Beerguyrob

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Brocky

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is this a threat you are gonna make me watch the old Ernest movies again. If so I am willing to give away banking information or whatever you want?

Brocky

…………………………challenge accepted

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Brocky
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This is better than The Producers joke FYI

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I think you meant “The Aristocrats” joke.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

All three are much better than my joke IMO

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Kids are asleep, think I’ll put on Trick R Treat. Am I alone in considering this one underrated?

Brocky

underrated by movie buffs’ standards, overrated by internet forum users.

I’d still recommend it though

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I saw it after someone had built it up so much I couldn’t enjoy it. It already was not in one of my favorite genres so it had that going against it too. I give it a meh out of 5 – don’t let me make you not watch it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Wow. I worded that weird at the end. You know what I mean

Brocky

I got cha

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brocky – huh?

Brocky

kinda echoing what marc said:

it deserved a wider release, definitely better than most of the horror crap you see released every year;

but man some people think it was the fucking Citizen Kane of horror movies.

To answer porky’s question: yes, its underrated,but not that underrated

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Thing about it is that it’s not particularly scary. It’s just well made enough to be appreciated. Kind of like House or The Gate.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Brocky

oh, trust me, i’ve been stockpiling horror gifs all month

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does anyone else always read “Don T” as “Don’t” and then get a little angry before calming down and realizing it’s the dude’s name?

Brocky
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I Don T know what your talking about.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I did drink three IPAs, which I assume is how I got drunk. So I’ve got that going for me.

Imperial Pelican Ale is strong but tastes like grapefruit juice. Ecliptic IPA is my favorite. Widmer red ale is meh.

Fronkenshteen

Rotoworld’s Bortles update is extremely grating. They actually say he looked like he was throwing a fully cooked turkey and his coach will probably be fired tomorrow morning. Guess they’re gonna lose this week because of him too. Can you ever remember a LeBeau-coached Pittsburgh defense giving away points & yards like that? Even in garbage time? YEAH, ME FUCKING NEITHER!!!!!

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I’m doing the “Beer World Tour” at a local pub which involves sampling every bottled beer they carry. Tonight was Sacrifice Night. After a Boddington’s, I had a Red Stripe and a Corona Light to get my checkboxes. So ashamed. Still, Hooray Beer!

Senor Weaselo

Sacrifice Night? Did you get to rip out the heart?

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

I just felt so ridiculous paying bar money for a bottle of watered down Chihuahua piss.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you know the Courtyard Marriott is the official hotel of the NFL? I didn’t until tonight, but the reminders everywhere and small touches–e.g. the do not disturb sign being a “going through my preface rituals” sign–are super effective at making me want to burn down NFL headquarters.

Brocky

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Brocky

Evening.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I swear to fucking God: If there were two brain cells in the NFLPA, they would immediately threaten to strike RIGHT GODDAMN NOW if Goodell isn’t summarily fired (and, if possible, executed).

Porky Prime
Porky Prime

Mellow greetings, dear friends. I partook of alcoholic beverages at a local drinking establishment, and was appalled by the color schemes of the “professional” footballing squads infecting two of the five televisions. The other three devices were tuned to trivia and a high school game featuring a Christian school versus a school for the deaf, which actually featured a similar shutout score in favor of the Fighting Kellers.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Go Sartans!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This day fucking sucks.

The one bright spot is that someone finally told me flat out that the talking points I’ve been using for legal small talk not only suck, but that they’re counterproductive, i.e. fucking me in the ass. So I’ve got that going for me.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

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theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s over…mercifully at last, it is over.

Senor Weaselo

Take the Motrin. Then you can still drink!
/To an extent, it says don’t have 3 or more daily while taking ibuprofen
//Yes I read the label

Fronkenshteen

Absolutely disgraceful. Well, there goes any fantasy money I hoped to earn this year. Talk about a sign from above.

King Hippo

Same here. Fuckers took Robinson out on the drive to fuck with me even worse.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Look on the brightside; maybe he’s injured.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

How bad is your team that BB ruined your season on week 8 TNF?

Fronkenshteen

Can’t come back from 35-0 if you’re still facing Julio Jones & Mike Evans on Sunday.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Yeah but take it like the Jags do – it’s just 1 gam…oh, I see your point.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gus Bradley continues to be an excellent high school football coach