Your Third Round Of NFL Football Open Thread

Two games? The stupid NFL lucks out sked-wise because they both should be interestifying. Still, two games? TO THE TWO GAMES!

SD/Den-Despite fantastic play from qb Rivers the Chargers look like the children’s book,  “The Little Engine That Couldn’t Quite Get Up The Hill Even Though He Received Lots Of Encouragement From People That Weren’t Aware Of The Train’s Inherent Limitations”. It’s a bitter-sweet allegory concerning you and your parent’s expectations of you. Perhaps rook de Bosa continues on his tear and gets the D going in the right direction (my money is on “NO”-he’s going to burn out at some point). Moving on. Broncs rb rook Booker gets his first big taste of a below-average NFL D. He’ll be spelled by backup Kapri Bibbs. Don’t ever forget about this guy. I can’t. Just saying his name reminds me of Capri Sun, baby bibs and nipples being forced into my mouth. Good Times. He might be my new favourite player.

GB/Atl-Oh Christ! I just came across the fact Falcons HC Quinn brought in some Special Forces guys to talk about “accountability and how it relates to everyone on the team”. This is the coward that didn’t have balls to go for it on 4th down in OT that resulted in a loss to the Chargers last week. WEAK! AS HELL! I should give some credit where it is due-political commentators and Hakeem Olajuwon have praised his pivot game. Packers-wise, Cobb has been ruled out and the Packers look to be almost done in a division where Minny is running away and the Lions are cautiously circling around competency, wondering if it will bite back.

There! TYPE WHAT YOU NEED TO TYPE!

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Old School Zero

Shoulda been a safety.

Old School Zero

WHY THE FUCK DID WE JUST CALL A TIMEOUT?!

King Hippo

ATL smartly bled clock there. GB shoulda called timeout.

Old School Zero

Ugh. Jeebus. Come on.

King Hippo

DOSS!!!! I didn’t even know he played outside of special teams.

We will soon have an interesting “to intentional safety or no” sitch, methinks.

blackroseMD1

Fuck.

Old School Zero

Damn.

King Hippo

San Diego is gonna win 28-27. Missed 2-pointer, get ball back, FG

blackroseMD1

Hell of a catch by Hunter Henry there.

Old School Zero

I really like that guy.

King Hippo

He’s special. NO IDEA why they have him taking a backseat to half-dead Gates again this week if healthy.

King Hippo

Is Wade so magic that everyone forgot to defense immediately upon his exit from the premises??

Old School Zero

His presence is HUGE.

Gratliff

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YOU TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER THAT IF TUBBY CAN STILL WALK, HE’S NOT GETTING THE MONEY!

King Hippo

Jamie Erdahl? OPPOSITE FEELS

King Hippo

I hate hate hate Trevor Siemian

King Hippo

yeah, don’t get me any points (fantasy or real life happiness, Devontae). SIGH

blackroseMD1

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King Hippo

that’s why ya kick, McCoy

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I sat on my balls today, now I know how Joe Thomas feels every waking moment of his life.

Old School Zero

It feels weird, but I almost trust the SD defense to bail us out of this one instead of the offense… just feels… wrong.

Old School Zero

Well, except when they do that…

King Hippo

SO….NOW DO YA KICK?

blackroseMD1

Apparently not.

King Hippo

Semen, you cum dumpster

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Can you imagine how much shit he must have caught as a kid with a name like siemian? I kinda feel sorry for him

Gratliff

Symmetrical derping!

blackroseMD1

About damn time they actually caught one!

blackroseMD1

Welp…

Old School Zero

This is what I get for getting hopeful about the Chargers.

King Hippo

Looks like they made the right call with Bosa v. Ramsey, though

Old School Zero

It’s true. Bosa is a better selling point for the Los Angeles fans than the entire Rams organization.

King Hippo

For that TD, I had both Sanders (tackled at the 1) and the tailback in the backfield on the next play (FB dive). FUCK MY LIFE.

I will end up losing by about 5 to the Brady/Gronk/Edelman team, with my waiver wire QB and AZ not giving David Johnson any touches again.

blackroseMD1

Ouch.

blackroseMD1

Well, it wouldn’t be a true touchdown if a Charger weren’t injured on it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Chargers Strength and Conditioning Coach is Dr. Leo Spaceman.

King Hippo

way to fuck me in fantasy but WOO!!!

King Hippo

Get Booker back in, FFS

King Hippo

Kubes back to being the playcaller I love to see. Using backs and TEs, ESPECIALLy with Virgil Green back.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

so, what your saying is, baby got back?

litre_cola

mmmmmm ribs

King Hippo

why throw it away? Sanders was WIDE OPEN in the flat

JustStopDude

Oh crap…I fell asleep and just now woke up. I basically took a four hour, afternoon nap.

My sleep is fucked…

King Hippo

OXY!!!!

the Alpha and the Amoeba

oxycontin?

King Hippo

America’s #1 sleep aid!

hippofant

You, sir, are doing Sunday right!

King Hippo

Toss plays. That’s what we needs to do.

King Hippo

I need Sanders points out the wazoo, but Semen should NOT throw the ball.

blackroseMD1

I’ve got Sanders on one of my leagues too, but I also started Derek Carr in that league, so I’m pretty good to go there.

King Hippo

I am glad I didn’t go to a bar to watch this shit, I’d be too blind to watch Q4

litre_cola

Think I have to go Kevin Kolb jersey tonight at the bar. Need the juju.

King Hippo

I thought maybe McNabb because sounds like you might need a power barf in order to keep on chuggin’ along.

blackroseMD1

Damn announcer has jinxed Lambo twice now.

King Hippo

it’s almost like ATL ain’t built FOAR the power run

King Hippo

hell of a catch there

blackroseMD1

By Travis Benjamin of all people.

King Hippo

looked like he was just as surprised as everyone else

Old School Zero

HOLY SHIT! THAT’S A DAMN CATCH!

King Hippo

it’s really gonna screw up my week if I have to drive to Denver tonight and murder Devontae Booker.

/after conclusion of MANDATORY 14-hour viewing window, of course

the Alpha and the Amoeba

c’mon man, that’s what craigslist is for. Outsource that shit

the Alpha and the Amoeba

c’mon man, that’s what craigslist is for. Subcontract that shit

King Hippo

Dontrelle Inman? FUCKING REALLY??

litre_cola

I am 2 bottles of wine deep, and the Iggles game hasn’t started. The expletives are starting to fly.

King Hippo

MAKE IT THREE, DON’T BE A HOSER

Brocky

So…..

is it socially acceptable to make fun of Phillips yet?

Bortleback

He just wanted to have a major medical emergency before Kubes has another stroke, so they can’t blame him if they don’t win the division

King Hippo

yeah, he can move everything and spoke to the team at halftime, GO FOAR IT

blackroseMD1

What’s the over/under on turnovers for the rest of this game? 40?

King Hippo

what caused the fumble? REACHING FOR THE GODDAMNED PYLON

blackroseMD1

Guess that my cue to start drinking the hard stuff.

Old School Zero
Old School Zero

GOOD JOB BOOKER!

King Hippo

there went my 5% chance to come back in fantasy

Old School Zero

5%?!

Wellll… loogit mister lucky pants over here. I don’t even have decimals to fall back on today. I’m done. Toast.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Live look in at Bears’ walk throughs today:

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King Hippo

when Kubes listens to Hippo, I do indeed get a little erect

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How little?

King Hippo

I’m pretty old ,, smh

King Hippo

OMAHA!!!

King Hippo

Now, THREE. HANDOFFS. TO. BOOKER.