Your “Are These The Dog Days Of The Season? Feels Like It” NFL Football Open Thread

I guess at some point of any major league schedule the creators must get some middling games out of the way before the rush to the finish, huh? That’s the feel I’m getting from some of these tilts here. But for the teams involved there’s a ton of difference between 5-4 and 4-5. BECAUSE ANYTHING MIGHT HAPPEN! Maybe your team goes on a roll, wins a game they weren’t expected to, has an unheralded rookie catch fire, etc. On the other hand, maybe your team is playing for nothing, waiting for the coach to get fired, the malcontent in the dressing room to get injured/shut the hell up, etc. And no, there’s nothing in between-if I’ve learned anything from the run-up to the election, it’s that there is only black and white in this world. TO THE GAMES!

Pit/Bal-I could go for a nice game of pitball right now… Sorry about that-Big Ben had surgery just 19 days and one extra hour ago. It’s about time he got back out on the field then, right? He’s a game-time decision and an empty shell of a man physically by the time he hits 50. AFC North teams have won a collective 10 times altogether at this point. Looks like someone’s taking the division at 8-8. The Ravens have grabbed 5 of the last 6 but may be without Yanda, Smith Sr, and Suggs. I’ll go out on a limb and say that the game will be an eyesore.

Dal/Cle-What happens when the league’s 4th ranked O and 12th ranked D strolls into Cleveland to play the Brownies? Pure Devastation. All that’s left to do for this Ohio team is trade their upcoming #1 draft pick to some team in the Lingerie League for a bag of kicking tees.

Jax/KC-Hey, qb Nick Foles starts for the Chiefs! By the time he retires he’ll have played for at least 5 more teams. I’ve got money riding on this. Jags HC Bradley threw OC Olson under the bus, starting a sequence of events that will likely end with him leading the entire coaching staff out the door and hitchhiking down the highway. Shortly afterwards players will say, “He lost the room after the second game”, “Everyone was tired of his approach”, “He just didn’t relate to the younger (code for black) players” and so on and whatever.

NYJ/Mia-If you’re a fan of grouper, catfish or carp this AFC East battle of the bottom-feeders is right up your gunwale! The Fins are favoured by 3.5 and are coming off a bye week and wins over the Steelers and Bills. Maybe, just maybe, HC Gase has turned this shipwreck around. The injury report is not giving the Jets any hope of an out-of-nowhere upset. Ol’s Mangold and Qvale are doubtful and Clady, Giacomini and Shell are questionable. That sound you heard was the likes of dl Suh and de’s Wake and Williams pawing the ground and snorting like bulls.

Phi/NYG-Poetry enthusiast/Eagles wr Huff was discovered with a gun and some leaves of grass on the Walt Whitman Bridge Tuesday morning. I had no idea he contained multitudes! The Giants are dead-last in the league running the ball because they run between the tackles every-I SAID EVERY-first down. Rb Jennings leads this bunch of plodders with a paltry 143 yds-that’s like one Ezekiel Elliott game. In limited play rook rb Perkins has shown that he can follow blocking and has a bit of a burst. If you want to locate him he’ll be on the sideline the vast majority of the game.

Det/Min-Another OC bites the dust. Seeing the graffiti on the wall (“score some MF’ing points”) Norv Turner decided to spend more time with the family he’s ignored for the last 40 years. New Guy Pat Shurmur cuts his teeth on a Lions D that ranks dead last in DVOA (no idea what it means but it sounds like a stat) Still, this Detroit squad can beat/lose to any team during any week. Which team will show? Well, gentlemen-get out yer flippin’ coins if’n you want to decide.

There she is-HAVE AT ‘ER, KIDLINGS!

 

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Spur
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Spur

Who’s gonna miss Norv? Hands…

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised
JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Damn it…baseball is over…Now Joe Buck is back on my TV…

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

What a waste

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I have a new goal in life: Earn enough money so that I only wear a pair of boxer briefs once and then replace them with a new pair. $100 in disposable income a month isn’t too much to ask, is it?

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

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entropy
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I can’t go there for at least five reasons.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I think I lived near there.

Spur
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Spur

Ok, BF1 fun done for game time. On one hand I want Zeke to run for 200 yards on the other I don’t want to see LeBron happy.

entropy
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Time for the bar. See ya all later, if I don’t go apeshit out in the world.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Were there any tits in that movie? I don’t remember there being any, which can’t be right.

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

Why is the douchebag from the UFC, on my TV? Oh wait…Fox cross branding…

Here is a brain teaser…which sporting organization more exploits their athletes…UFC or NFL?

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

C: NCAA

entropy
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I’ll take all of the above, if I may.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Brutal

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky
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So last minute fantasy advice :

Broncos defense vs the mystifyingly competent raiders?

OR
The Ravens defense vs an injured big ben?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, didn’t see the first part of the comment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Gratliff
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Oh shit. It’s a showbiz pizza.

Shogun Marcus
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Suicide?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both. PinP, DVR, or switch back and forth…… DO IT!!

entropy
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The Ravens D couldn’t stop Geno Smith OR Ryan Fitzpatrick. Do what you will with that information.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In the division they always play them tough….. that said it could be different today.

entropy
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You have a point (something my Yinzer buddy and I were just discussing), but still: couldn’t stop the Jets. That’s…. that’s not good.

Shogun Marcus
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Greetings fellow mediocrity enthusiasts and agents of chaos!

yeah right
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I think I’m going to 2 team parlay Vikings -6 and Jets +3.

Time to live dangerously!

entropy
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I don’t know if I should thank you for the confidence or condemn you for the jinx.

Fronkenshteen
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[trades #1 overall pick for bag of kicking tees]

[misreads contract]

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– Cleveland Browns

Fronkenshteen
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The Bill Maher show w/ the President Obama interview was unlike any other I’ve seen. Maher seemed genuinely unhinged. Ranting about a right wing coup taking place because of a group of FBI in cahoots with the Russian hackers to tilt the election [head explodes]. Of all people, Martin Short (he’s doing Hairspray on teh NBC!) made the only comforting point of the entire discussion, which was that the media won’t report that HRC is a lock, simply because from a business standpoint, they need BIG election night ratings. And I see his point. It’s their Super Bowl, for chrissakes.

Senor Weaselo
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Fuck, can we choose between Bartlett and Palmer?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; there is a lot of evidence that DNC offices were bugged (evidence given to the FBI) and videos of DNC inside activities are being released by bloggers. Huuuuuummmmm

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I can’t believe there is wrongdoing at the FBI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Impossibrew!!!

entropy
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Everything old is new again, Moose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I did enjoy Watergate the first time around, tho.

entropy
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Nixon was a monster and a degenerate prone to wandering the halls of the White House clutching a bottle of Jack shouting at pictures of JFK, but he was a HUGE football fan, and you have to like a guy who will make sure to keep up to date on the NFL even when traveling on State business.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

In a just world there would be a reckoning for that.

entropy
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If you came here for justice, you came to the wrong place.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Justice is a cruel joke

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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GODDAMNIT I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WAITING THIS EXTRA HOUR SUCKS DONKEY BALLS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One of the great travesties of mankind; the suffering is immeasurable.

Redshirt
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Jesus, CBSsports.com! Maybe be sure to specify in the link “One-handed TD saves season for Nebraska team”, that its a high school team and not the Nebraska Cornhuskers. I feel asleep last night with the Buckeyes leading 55-3 with a quarter to go, and I nearly did a spit take all over my keyboard thinking Ohio State gave up a 52 point lead in 15 minutes.

Redshirt
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Wait a minute. Ben’s back already?

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entropy
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I fully expect him to explode on the field one day, Mutant League Football-style.

http://gamecola.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/mutant_football.gif

Gratliff
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How has there not been a new mutant league in over 20 years? I loved those fucking games so much.

entropy
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Oh, I absolutely loved these games. I particularly enjoyed the Space Field where players would randomly drop through holes in the turf to float endlessly in the void beyond. So much fun.

King Hippo
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he hasn’t been able to HARF pain in years, man

Redshirt
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History Channel is showing episodes of “Doomsday: 10 Ways the World Will End”. Watching all of humanity die and the Earth be destroyed by the Sun, or sucked into a black hole or turned into a radioactive wasteland really give me the cheery distraction I need from the election nonsense.

King Hippo
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that was on a few years ago, I enjoyed the fuck out of it b/c I’m a sick bastard

Gratliff
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Is Tuesday #9?

entropy
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Hey! The Jets aren’t botto– oh fuck it. Who am I kidding? They’re one more injury away from setting fire to the locker room just for the insurance payoff. This has not been a fun season for me, football-wise. So I’m going to ignore my own team’s game and go watch the Giants-Eagles game at the Gints bar, because WHY NOT and it’s gonna be fun.

Or, if not fun, I’ll be hammered by halftime, which is just as good.

Fronkenshteen
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Ahoy-hoy!
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entropy
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Sharkbait
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Sharkbait
yeah right
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This is one of those games where I have complete confidence in my boys.
Vikings haven’t been home in damn near a month and they should destroy a mediocre Detroit team.

If not its gonna be a long day of dranking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The windmill tackles may do you in.

Gratliff
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I’m sorry, sir. The clock has struck mid-season, and Sam Bradford has turned back into a pumpkin.

yeah right
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It’s got nothing to do with Bradford. It’s an injured offensive line that couldn’t block an apathetic Brownie troop.

yeah right
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But then again I’ll still accept first place and a 6-2 record after today.

entropy
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Banner quote, in my opinion.

Spur
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Spur

BF1 time till game time. Bolt action!

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

I’ve been thinking about picking that up. Is it good as people say it is?

Spur
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Spur

Yeah, its a nice change of pace with the bolt action rifles. Of course i love the mayhem of 32 v 32 games. If you play on PC look me up Bolster702

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Was thinking for Xbox, but I could be talked into PC for this one.

Spur
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Spur

As much as I despise HillyBob, yes they are the clear choice for anyone with a stable mind. With that said, i hope Tuesday is a rude awakening for the Clintons. The old ways of politicking is dead. Their crass cronyism will be put in the spotlight by bloggers and grow from there. There will be grindlock for at least 4 more years and more government shutdowns.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bloggers; the death of factual and logical presentation of information.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The old ways of politicking are and will be as strong as ever; it is just now we have ideologues blocking and obstructing rather than making deals. In spite of that economically and environmentally there is progress; at the very minimum the status quo must be maintained.

King Hippo
Member

she campaigned COMPLETELY differently from 2008, I am willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how she governs. Saving us from Trump earns her at least that much.

But yeah, I am REALLY sick of Bill’s shit. He’s a really crap ex-President.

Sharkbait
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Sharkbait

Good morning degenerates. Constant election ads on TV is not helping my slight hangover this morning.

Spur
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Spur

I need to find a stream for today’s Cowboys game. This should be a easy win, that worries me.

Spanky Datass
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Spanky Datass

Welp, these EPL fixtures are shit. DO SOMETHING SWANSEA!!!!1!! … … something besides allowing goals …

Spur
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Spur

Morning. Yay, extra hour of sleep!

King Hippo
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Gonna suck monkeybutt during SNF (which is the fixture of the day for a change, too).

King Hippo
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Hope yer right on JAX/KC, as I faded it in Survivor in favour of GB (who my last remaining foe has already used) and sure ’nuff he picked the Chefs. KC does a WTF bed shitting EVERY YEAR and sooner or later that Jagura passing O has to wake from its coma.

/yes I started Allen Robinson again like the dumb fuck I am, why dost thou ask??

Gratliff
Member

The news cycle this morning has my teeth grinding.

King Hippo
Member

relax, HillyBob has got this. All the NEEERRRRRRDDDDDS and coloureds in my dear home state of North Cakalaky have seen to that in early voting.

BLUE WALL WOO!!!!!

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