Amazement Is Not Leprosy Open Thread

As a ranked competitor in the World Series of Seething, I’m a fan of detachment. It is therefore distressing to see the proliferation of “that did not surprise me” as the go-to phrase for fake punditry. Bullshit: no one foresaw the Lions atop the NFC North. Not even Cootercrats.

Another one that sets me on edge is “I told you so”. In the NFL universe, every passing week is a set of narratives that is supplanted by a mostly new set. Nobody remembers that Arian Foster retired, much less he once topped the 2016 Dolphins depth chart at RB. Oh yeah, Zeke and DAK! are world beaters—when did you say it? Week 7? 5? Please: don’t grab a dog’s balls and then tell me it’s male. Besides, “I told you so” has that interplay of nagging and wisdom only one class of people can pull off: mothers. Otherwise, it’s a bad look—even for prophets.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuDlJ_Q3YTM]

NFL News:

Yesterday Robert Quinn checked himself in after feeling “sick”, and was discharged from the hospital today. All that was reported was that he suffered a non-football related illness. My guess? Ask the Vegas folks. They know what ails everybody.

  • As to discernible maladies, Steelers DE Cam Heyward is out for the season for a “chest/pectoral injury” that requires surgery. In Denver, Trevor Siemian did not practice today, as he has a “banged up left shoulder“. Paxton Lynch took all first team reps and Aqib Talib returned to practice. The Broncos are on bye this week which makes me wonder if the NFLPA is taking it instead of the Broncos..
  • On Sunday against the Dolphins, Todd Gurley will receive handoffs from Jared Goff. On a personal note, this news moved me to Google the Law of Diminishing Returns.
  • Speaking of long marinations, the Minnesota Star Tribune finally releases the “Vikings Boot Walsh” headline. The Vikings sign Kai Forbath, and we will never know if Blair Walsh had the potential to go full Private Pyle on Mike Zimmer.

Getting back on topic, this year the No Fun League creep arrived early and has gathered way too much momentum. TV ratings went down and the Is The NFL Dying? wags quickly propped culprits: the Kaepernick Kneeling, flags flags flags, allegedly poor QB play, the Patriots being head and shoulders above everybody, ties, shitty games, other stuff… Lost in the shuffle have been momentous developments: both North divisions seem to lack serious contenders (so far), the Bills becoming frisky after an injury plague, Cris Conte did a good, the AFC West becoming the premier division, the AFC South upgrading from eyesore to pinkeye, Russell Wilson becoming Ben Roethlisberger West (or maybe the Pacific Wolverine), extra points kicks deciding games—hell, even icing the kicker has worked this year.

My point is: I don’t get the creeping ennui surrounding this NFL season. Granted, the Titans are honest to God watchable (#TOLJA), but that is far from it. Why, even all four NFC East have a lot to play for during their traditional primetime force feedings. Schadenfreude is much better with high stakes, I have found.

Tonight in NHL action, everybody plays, apparently. NBA–Brooklyn has a team? My God. Full NBA schedule here, NCAA here. The South American Eliminations for the 2018 World Cup continue. I’ve said before and I’ll say it again: these games are intense. There is a lot of contempt between the teams, and it is quite common for club teammates to tussle when playing for country. Uruguay goes to Chile to crack some skulls; goals are also an acceptable outcome for the charrúas. Colombia goes to reeling Argentina, and Brazil goes to, as Frank Sinatra would sing, Perooooooo.

Finally, a big shoutout to Beerguyrob, whom I hope is enjoying himself immensely. As for me, I’ll be staying away from gripes and bitching and overall meh-ness about this NFL season. I will enjoy the games; as for the rest, whatever.

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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Unsurprised

Big Daddy Drew fucks

WCS

The name of the next “E-mail of the Week”?

Senor Weaselo

The name of the next a lot of his things, I think.

Unsurprised

That said, David Goyer is a hack and will gut anything clever and good about The Hike.

WCS

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entropy

Binaural was a good album.

WCS

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WCS

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Mr. Ayo

STD or space thing? You decide!

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

lol Simmons

Unsurprised

So whatever happened to Sill?

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

What is the USMNT?

Mr. Ayo

Fight club came a long way to become a good movie.

Brocky

so are we all in a somber mood?

this is an absurdly chill video to veg out to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOtOJHbxQII

WCS

I forgot it’s the time of the year for holiday jewelry commercials. Think I’ll throw the baby into the TV.

Sharkbait

Just wait until the Lexus bow car commercials

Unsurprised

It’s a shame that with flatscreens you don’t get the satisfying thump of them going through the screen but sitting lifeless in the set with the CRT radiating the fuck out of the room.

entropy

Personally, I hate the holiday “fragrance” commercials. How the fuck am I supposed to know what Julia Roberts trapped in a 1950s musical smells like? Fuck you and your expensive skunk piss and whale vomit.

Mr. Ayo

RIP Seamus. Life comes at you fast with the open heart collection.

Croooow

This is also the time those ancient commercials for Chia Pet and The Clapper show up.

Mr. Ayo
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

It’s the only reasonable solution

Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, one more of these and then I’m off to bed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx_0LK1DfrE

ALXMAC
Unsurprised

I hate everything

entropy

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Unsurprised

Indeed

entropy

But, y’know what, flippant impersonal responses aside, what’s up, man?

Unsurprised

I’m miserable as fuck and I don’t see any brightness in my future. Part of me has accepted that I made a huge mistake going through all of this trouble to become a lawyer no one wants to hire.

entropy

Hmm. OK.
//realizes maybe he’s not the best one for this, is willing to try until someone more optimistic comes along

I can’t honestly say I know what you’re going through, but I know I’ve been in a similar spot. And someone WILL hire you, I mean, you come across as intelligent and knowledgeable here, so an employer will figure that out. I maybe wouldn’t lead with a dick joke in an interview, but allow some of that sarcasm and humor to show and it might help you out some in interviews (I’m not sure if lawyering works the same as my line of work, but I do know everyone likes a funny guy in the office).

Unsurprised

I’m the least funny guy into the world outside of this site.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

As an attorney who is in the process of deciding whether to walk away from the whole thing after 10 years of practice:

You have options. If you love the law, keep the faith. You are going to be an economically-viable alternative to assholes like me, and something will come open sooner rather than later.

If you like parts of the law or certain topics, you are at the right point to sell yourself as a qualified candidate for a non-attorney job in those areas with a pretty good assurance that you are a smart boy because you made it through law school and the bar.

Brick Meathook

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Brocky
entropy

Korean Pac Man seems kinda trippy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t worry, Bannon will get him in a camp soon enough.

Sharkbait

Thats…something.

Brocky

I won’t say blood hound gang are necessarily known for subtlety, but damn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2NFl86LX3Q

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Sharkbait

Alright. I haven’t seen Westworld yet, but given that’s all I hear people discussing, I’m going to have to give it a shot.

entropy

You really should. It was pretty good from the jump, but took a HUGE leap forward this week. I kinda want to write about it, but I’m not sure how many folks would appreciate it.

laserguru

I would and it’s only restraint and spoilers that have kept me from doing the same thing.
Do it!

entropy

Mr. Ayo, here is something I just started a day or so ago; not sure if I’m gonna finish it or not, but you were asking for boobs….

http://68.media.tumblr.com/78d8baab9d04c5b1c0ef141d43940428/tumblr_ogpwl0tzo71uf51wyo1_1280.jpg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She looks like a tall drink of milk…

/ducks

entropy

No need to duck, I am fucking dying over here.

Mr. Ayo

Ha! Thanks man.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck it, let’s get weird

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3lF2qEA2cw

ALXMAC

That’s the 2nd hottest chick from True Blood!!

ALXMAC
entropy