Have I ever told you the story of how I discovered Thanksgiving football? I have? Shut up. Who asked you, anyway? Me? I don’t know that guy. Okay-I was a young puppy that went by the name of chocolatemilknaut and I was sick as sick can be. Mommynaut propped me up on the couch in front of the tube and I dreaded watching the usual diet of game shows and soap operas that constituted day-time TV as I drifted in and out of sleep. Lo and behold! What to my wondrous eyes did appear? Football. Football most dear. It may have been Lawrence Taylor (I called him LTnaut) dismantling the Lions, I’m not sure. But a football fan was born that day, my friends. TO THE GAME!
Was/Dal-The ‘Dacteds need this game really bad. This is an assessment of the level of their alkalinity or acidity-a litmus test if you will. Can the D deal with DAK! and rb Zeke? Will The Beeze out-catch The Dez yet again? When will Old Man Witten kick everyone off his lawn? Why does cb Norman play so rough? Who is qb Cousins, really? How will wr Jackson embarrass himself this week? Will rb Kelley pile up another 100-yarder? For the answer to these and many other unasked questions, watch the freaking game! A Giants backer would have reasons to cheer for both a Cowboys or Redacteds win but myself is just looking forward to a good game. After all, it’s up to the G-Men to win and damn the other team’s results.
I’m done-SPEAK TO ME! (AND OTHERS!)
Zeke is apparently much better at running than he is at using scissors to make cutoff shirts. That thing is raggedy.
Zeke ripped his shirt to make it a crop top. Baller.
Cowboys look damn good this year, those bastards, and the Skins are looking like they could be a wild card team. They put together a better game today than I was expecting.
Dak for MVP?
I see Xfinity finally expanded the “Grandma’s house sucks b/c I can’t get on Facebook” commercial so everyone would stop plotting that girl’s death.
Part of me wants the Cowboys to pretend to kneel and throw a bomb to whoever Norman’s covering.
(This joke is too late, courtesy of Tryptophan)