2016 Quotables (Week 12 – Results)

blaxabbath -
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So, good news/bad news kind of thing this morning. First the bad, our gif for the sweet Eric Berry tackle/kill shot on Kapri Bibbs got removed by NFL Productions (via our Giphycat host). So, while I’m technically not a criminal in this new Trump’s America (which was a landslide victory by -2.5 million votes at this point), I suspect the next misstep will, in fact, result in DTZM being sued. Now, with that out of the way, onto the good news!


Balls is on tap to host Quotables while I am on hiatus. So good luck with not pissing off NFL Productions over the next couple weeks, Pal. I’m sure the way we tag everything around here with #RogerGoodellIsANationalDisgrace will be well-received down at 345 Park Ave and will in no way result in Mr. Ofsteelandfury being named with Mr. Morris-Pliskin as a co-defendants in this action.

Okay now, you all be nice to the substitute while I’m away.

twxt
“Marquess Wilson Hillary’s away a Bears victory.” -Sharkbait
A young fan receives a touchdown ball from Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton in a game against the Oakland Raiders.
“Panthers jersey, ball from Cam, photo on a milk carton before the end of the night. Visa – it’s everywhere you want to be.” -LemonJello
TEXT
“She’s like a drunken, Southern Belle version of Rey Mysterio.” -Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Detroit Lions fans celebrate a touchdown pass against the Minnesota Vikings.
“That Detroit fan really nailed that Tom Brady impression!” -Ballsofsteelandfury
The Baltimore Ravens run out the clock on the final play of a game against the Cincinnati Bengals.
The Baltimore Ravens run out the clock on the final play of a game against the Cincinnati Bengals.
New Orleans Saints fans dance during a game against the Los Angeles Rams.
“It’s NOLA; this is all the contact needed to exchange STDs.* *Thanks Gronk!” -Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
No jock strap jokes allowed on this one.
“THIS VONTAE DAVIS, I CALL HIM A DRUNK GIRL IN A MEN’S ROOM, BECAUSE HE NEEDS SAFETY HELP AND IS ABOUT TO GET FUCKED BY BIG BEN.” -Fronkenshteen
New York Giants head coach coach Ben McAdoo searches for Cleveland Browns head coach Hue Jackson for a post-game handshake.
“Who took away his dog?” -BrettFavresColonoscopy

 

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blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are two of these that are not that great; mine and “The Baltimore Ravens run out the clock on the final play of a game against the Cincinnati Bengals.” I realize the second one is a good joke, but it gets told once or twice a year at least.

The rest are top notch c-comedy; well done.

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

THERE’S ONE RULE GUYS

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blaxabbath

http://i.imgur.com/kzfCFXI.jpg

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Although I put us on Trump’s radar in the first place, so what do I know?

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Unsurprised

No exposed vag?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Fronkenshteen really killed it last week. There was another one he had that cracked me the fuck up.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think this was a surprise winner:

“The Baltimore Ravens run out the clock on the final play of a game against the Cincinnati Bengals.”

It’s as exciting as Flacco.

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laserguru

Have a safe and happy journey Mr. Abbath.
Congrats are in order as well.

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JustStopDude

comment image?resize=480%2C270

And after the game, Harbaugh spent 20 minutes bitching that the refs have it out for the Ravens…

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montythisseemsstrangetome

you all be nice to the substitute while I’m away.

Um, Mr. Ofsteelandfury? Mr. Abbath usually lets us talk about the questions with each other during the test. Yeah, I think he’s trying to teach us teamwork and cooperation and stuff.

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nomonkeyfun

“Sir, may I…”

Mr. Ofsteelandfury: “Yes, what is it. I have to go review some underwear, so hurry up. BTW, what is your name?”

“Mike Hunt, sir. Also, is it ladies underwear, not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

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ballsofsteelandfury

If you kids behave, you’ll get an underwear review included in next week’s post.

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Don T

May you have the happiest of hiat… Hiatii?

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