Your “A Broken Clock Gets It Right Once A Year” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Well lookee here! We got ourselves a great tilt between two superior teams with a history between them and a division lead in the mix. Everyone says that 2016 started going downhill right after David Bowie was shot to death in that zoo enclosure but if that is what it takes to finally get a quality matchup on a Thursday night I’m good with it. Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the NFL Scheduling Squad’s version of Susan Boyle walking on to The Gong Show’s stage. Did I just reference “The Gong Show”? I couldn’t be more embarrised. TO THE GAME!

Oak/KC-This game speaks for itself but I have to type something otherwise I won’t not get the money that isn’t owed to me. The last team to beat the Raiders? You bet it was the Las Vegas Golden Knights, er, the Chiefs. The Raiders have won 6 straight and the Chiefs are 20-4 over their last twenty-four games. As good as the Raiders have played they are vulnerable to the run game. They gifted the Bills with 212 yards on the ground and a 7.1 yards per carry average just last week. We all know how committed KFC HC Reid is to the run/short-passing game and perhaps this will be an effective antidote to the ridiculous awesomeness that is Khalil Mack. Oakland’s offensive line is rated just behind the Cowboys and since week 8 the Chiefs have averaged 3 sacks per game-SOMETHING MUST GIVE!

As always, check out the crazy goings-on at Free Ballin’ Football down below. Has Bill finally come to terms with his heterosexuality? When will Josh finally admit that the bunny slippers belong to him? Where did Tim’s toenail-clippings diorama disappear to? Will someone finally explain to Nick the difference between ‘peanuts’ and ‘penis’? For the answers to these questions and some quality jaw-wagging about NFL-related goings-on check it out.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think I have hit the breaking point of “I can save the world if I kill 1 guy, but I would never do that anymore, I did it in the past easy and stopped a ton of murders” but “I will leave you alive to commit millions of murders because I won’t kill the bad guy now”. Fucking write a better story.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I used to own an A-Rod signed baseball from when he played on the Appleton Foxes. It would probably be worth a ton of money now but I couldn’t tell you where it is now. I only remember this because I got reminded of the girl I spent the game with at 14 tonight.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yep. Gonna fall asleep watching Chris Pratt outtakes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6XCULhqw50

Senor Weaselo

If only shit wouldn’t cut out halfway, fucking assholes.
https://vimeo.com/169326992

WCS

Wifey decided on watching something called, “Transcendence.” Essentially, Johnny Depp becomes Skynet, while Morgan Freeman and Cillian Murphy play Lucius Fox and Jim from 28 Dyas Later, respectively. Also, Rooney Mara has dialogue, ofn which, all is nonsensical, because, Rooney Mara.

http://www.willtheterminatorcometrue.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/terminator-2-t-1000-shake.gif

Unsurprised

It was pretty good except Depp sucks and they whiffed the ending, which I can accept because very few people have written about super-nanites and not done the same thing because it’s basically God Mode.

Also, Wally Pfister’s career trajectory from “the guy who gets Randall Slavin his coffee” to “DP on The Dark Knight” to full-blown film director is fucking dope.

Senor Weaselo
Unsurprised

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does anyone else watch Blackish? It’s fine, except this season they introduced a character who is totally Roy.

http://s.orzzzz.com/news/7d/66//5428e646a1acf.jpg

Unsurprised
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I don’t, but whatever you say, Mr. D!

Col. Duke LaCross

His hilarious feud with Jeff Fisher aside, Eric Dickerson can eat shit and bark at the moon.

Brocky

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Unsurprised

The feel-good movie of the year

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m not one to get into the “Holiday Spirit” so much anymore, but this was rather fantastic:

Senor Weaselo
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I’d like to wish The High Commander a very special birthday.

http://i.imgur.com/p0ZRwYf.gif

Without him, I may have never found the old place, and all you wonderful, fine folk.

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Philip-Rivers-Celebration-on-Bench.gif

Someone’s getting preggers tonight!

WCS

Wait, King Marmalard is your dad? ALL PRINCE DAGGERFACE

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

High Commander =/= Papa Commander, unless Mama Commander cloned me and aged him by 30ish years, in a very elaborate ruse to throw me off the trail…

Senor Weaselo
Brocky

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WCS

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Fronkenshteen

Must Chuck Klostermannnnnn be custodian for all my pop culture memories?

WCS
Senor Weaselo

I guess I’m in charge of DJing tonight, and if not, I’m wresting control. RIP Greg Lake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89g1P_J40JA

WCS

From the Beginning will forever be the greatest slow/progressive rock ode written.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Buenas nachos all

Brocky

some of you folks jumped the gun early, but as a wise man once said:

Its sexy friday somewhere

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WCS

It’s 00:02 here!

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Brocky

other people were early.

Brocky

hey guys, look at it this way:

raiders have a much better chance of beating the patriots in the wild card round than the chiefs ever would.

at least that’s what i’m telling myself.

Unsurprised

God willing, the Raiders are the only ones who would actually try to flat-out murder Brady just for the Hell of it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I guess KC stands for “Kryptonite for Carr”.

Unsurprised
Curse of Marino

name?

Unsurprised
Fronkenshteen

Amari Cooper wasn’t good at teh football tonight. Thankfully, Spencer Ware & Cairo the kicker underperformed also. Usually with fantasy, I’d LIKE to win the $. This year, I need it. That blows.

Brocky

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Curse of Marino

IS ALEX SMITH ELITE?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So are the Chiefs for real? Are the Raiders imposters? Do we have to just hand the P*ts the Lombardi trophy now or just the Lamar Hunt Trophy?

Senor Weaselo

Or we could call Bernard Pollard…’s son?
/googles
//wait, he’s 31? Does he have Kenny Lofton Syndrome?

Croooow

I think KC kinda sorta got lucky. Raiders had some serious wide open wiffs in this game.

Unsurprised

What a fortuitous discovery on reddit
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King Hippo

KC didn’t throw, nor did they need to.

King Hippo

That’s bad timeout usage, as now KC can throw with minimal risk.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So did Jack Del Rio’s balls get smaller or what?

Brocky

I mean, it is december…

King Hippo

doesn’t look like we will get a Hail Mary ending, even

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