Well lookee here! We got ourselves a great tilt between two superior teams with a history between them and a division lead in the mix. Everyone says that 2016 started going downhill right after David Bowie was shot to death in that zoo enclosure but if that is what it takes to finally get a quality matchup on a Thursday night I’m good with it. Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the NFL Scheduling Squad’s version of Susan Boyle walking on to The Gong Show’s stage. Did I just reference “The Gong Show”? I couldn’t be more embarrised. TO THE GAME!
Oak/KC-This game speaks for itself but I have to type something otherwise I won’t not get the money that isn’t owed to me. The last team to beat the Raiders? You bet it was the Las Vegas Golden Knights, er, the Chiefs. The Raiders have won 6 straight and the Chiefs are 20-4 over their last twenty-four games. As good as the Raiders have played they are vulnerable to the run game. They gifted the Bills with 212 yards on the ground and a 7.1 yards per carry average just last week. We all know how committed KFC HC Reid is to the run/short-passing game and perhaps this will be an effective antidote to the ridiculous awesomeness that is Khalil Mack. Oakland’s offensive line is rated just behind the Cowboys and since week 8 the Chiefs have averaged 3 sacks per game-SOMETHING MUST GIVE!
As always, check out the crazy goings-on at Free Ballin’ Football down below. Has Bill finally come to terms with his heterosexuality? When will Josh finally admit that the bunny slippers belong to him? Where did Tim’s toenail-clippings diorama disappear to? Will someone finally explain to Nick the difference between ‘peanuts’ and ‘penis’? For the answers to these questions and some quality jaw-wagging about NFL-related goings-on check it out.
uh oh, tiny hands…
What the fuck did Trump do now???
Best seasonal beers I’ve had this year, in order, are Great Divide Hibernation, Victory Winter Cheer, and Ninkasi Sleighr.
One special was the 2015 Hair Of The Dog Doggie Claws aged in a concrete egg. That thing was amazing.
Fall still is the best beer drinking season, but I do love a good porter in the winter.
For me, it’s vodka season 12 months out of every year.
Sebastian Janikowski is the counterpoint to the argument that pig and elephant DNA just won’t splice.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elephi–WRONG! SEABAS, MOTHERFUCKER!
RAIDAHS
THAT’s the Alex Smith I know
http://www.avclub.com/review/contract-kill-isnt-just-badits-steven-seagal-bad-246948
I can’t wait for the holiday season to get into full swing so that we can celebrate time honored traditions like accusing our fellow citizens of not celebrating correctly.
HE SAID HOLIDAY SEASON! GET ‘EM!
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii197/ransomb/South-Park-rabble-rabble-rabble-1.gif
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51878/ad9f70518777083.jpg
So they never landed on the moon right? I mean as humans way more countries would have done so as a who’s dick is bigger type deal and gone there and planted a flag, like the North Pole.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wptn5RE2I-k
Right in the jaw.
John Glenn.
Badass Fighter Pilot
Astronaut
Senator
Purveyor of Dick Jokes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ_FHy6nGXA&feature=youtu.be&t=3m15s
Also verbally abused his opponent in a senate race when his opponent suggested he never held a real job: https://library.osu.edu/documents/ohio-congressional-archives/documents/Gold%20Star%20Mother%20speech.pdf
Probably one of the greatest verbal bitch slappings in human history
Fucking bad ass.
If this was broadcast in today’s media, there would be a mass shitting of pants.
What in fuck happened to this country?
Guys like Glenn became Senators and ruined shit
Even Al isn’t buying the shit he’s selling.
THIS ALEX SMITH, I CALL HIM A MIDGET MESSIAH, BECAUSE HIS TINY HANDS ARE WORKING MIRACLES
Dad: Man, just every time I see Andy Reid looking at his play sheet, I swear it looks like he’s glancing at a menu
Brocky just grins and nods with pride.
Good evening folks.
1) Can the Ice iggles stop winning please?
2) As always, Roger Goodell is a national disgrace.
Is it not enough that the actual iggles have completely abandoned winning?
he in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmBZlGn10vM&app=desktop
Del Rio trying to get into Reid’s head by mismanaging the clock.
http://deadspin.com/art-briles-sues-baylor-for-libel-and-conspiracy-1789889451
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l2yp4mlXGH1qc073co1_400.gif
Never before have I rooted for the lawyers to win but nobody else.
Those yellow gloves are fucking with me.
Where’s tWBS? Did he give up on us because he thinks we’re not funny? Or is he just busy masturbating?
Layup? Nah. Open three maybe.
I hate everything right now. Will I continue watching? Yes, I love pain.
http://i68.tinypic.com/ic0f1g.jpg
Company wide email today congratulated someone on their work anniversary, and referenced the fact that it was on Pearl Harbor day, a day that we also “celebrated.”
One of the partners corrected that mistake, via a “Reply All.”
Jesus Christ on a kangaroo, how are people that fucking stupid?
I don’t understand how more people don’t accidentally kill themselves getting out of bed
In honor of Pearl Harbor Day, Roger Goodell will act surprised that he’s a piece of dogshit
Is that the Mighty Glow Cloud?
Bingo!
I’m listening to All Things Considered (even though I hate it and hate Ira Glass) about people trying to change how other people think and I am fascinated in a sick way because that never works. You cannot just persuade people to change how they think by talking to them. It’s fucking futile. People are too fucking stupid to ever bother with.
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/51650/bcb7fe516490321.jpg
This sad fucking debate nerd. Loser.
SEVEN IN A ROW
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ndsgBa2R1rsaq0to1_400.gif
Just what we need, another Chiefs linebacker taking himself out.
THIS GAME I CALL IT THE SPANISH INQUISITION BECAUSE THE GROUP IN RED IS ENFORCING THEIR WILL AND I DIDN’T EXPECT IT.
wait, OAKLAND was offside on the kickoff? How do you manage that shit?
Holy shit. Flyera retake the lead twice after two separate two goal deficits to go up 6-5 with a minute to go.
6-5? Please tell me it wasn’t Ma—DAMMIT.
In his defense, he has been on a batshit crazy hot streak.
Travis Kelce is either really awesome or a total asshole.
I just can’t decide.
These two things are certainly not mutually exclusive.
also it’s NAWT TAUNTING IF UR WHITE apparently, amirite??
We’ve secretly replaced the 2016 Oakland Raiders with the 2006 Oakland Raiders. Let’s see if anyone notices…
Insert Benny Hill music (Tyreek Hill remixxx)
I am currently feeling less comfortable with my Raiders +3 pick.
At least I wouldn’t have gotten points for Hill’s return TD anyway, per league rules. Fuck a duck.
Oh good, now the Raiders have completed the trifecta of shitty play. Offense, defense, AND special teams.
THIS GAME, I CALL IT MY FIRST TIME I GOT LAID, BECAUSE IT’S COLD AND NOT LIVING UP TO MY EXPECTATIONS
And you can’t stop crying?
My kid brought me up a banana nut muffin from the bunch she baked. As it is my bedroom and she brought no plate, I ate it over the toilet at the commercial break to avoid making crumbs in the bed.
/ANDY REID MOMENTS
Andy Reid wouldn’t have left the bed.
Amateur.
NPR has a podcast called How I Built That. The newest episode is with/about Mark Cuban, WHO HAS NEVER FUCKING BUILT A MOTHERFUCKING THING IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE!
He was otherwise useless but a core member of the team that sold vaporware to Yahoo! and hasn’t done a fucking thing since except buy the Mavericks.
Have we discussed why the Raiders are wearing white for color rush and not black?
Because that’s fucking stupid.
I just turned on the hotel tv. I’m struggling to find the game but did find two women petting live rabbits while speaking in what i believe to be French.
That sounds infinitely more satisfying to watch
Which one of them is Lennie?
Turning away from the shocking events unfolding before us–increasing Chefs competence–I’m facepalming a bit every time an article comes out shocked at how extreme the views are of a cabinet pick or other right-wing individual suddenly coming to power. Did people believe that the last eight years pulled those on the right towards more moderate positions? Hell, the last twenty, thirty years? Insert frog in pot of water coming to a boil thing here, I guess.
People are fucking stupid. This is why I finally decided to stop giving a fuck about politics and people and just focus on myself. I cannot and will not give any more fucks.
I’ve said it before, my family isn’t rich or poor enough for politicians to give a shit about.
It’s root, hog or die and I’m focusing on the 4 people I’m responsible for – fuck the rest of the world.
I’ve sp— No, I’ve wastedmy entire life on this shit and it hasn’t gotten me anything or made me be or feel even the slightest bit useful. I’m sick of this shit. I moved 2,000 miles away to get away from that fucking life and goddamn it I’m going to do it.
(BTW, I just met with a new therapist. Good guy. I think this is going to go well.)
Look at it this way – ANYTHING one does with one’s life is a waste, really.
Indeed
People are a rational bunch.
That’s the other thing I keep thinking on these baffled left wing columnists and bloggers–remember that everyone IS rational, in their own subjective way. Just because their position appears extreme and insane to you does not mean that they consider themselves extreme or insane–they think themselves completely rational and holding truer beliefs than their opposition. We can’t keep thinking that they’re somehow irrational and that they’ll just see the light–they will not waver from their beliefs, and their beliefs will inform their actions. To them their beliefs are rational and reality and normal.
They’re irrational because they won’t ever see how stupid they are.
Stupidity and self-awareness have never been close friends, it’s true.
No they aren’t. They think they are, but they also think they’re good people and have value to humanity and the world and basically I hate everyone and hope the world explodes.
My wife kept telling me, “He’s going to surround himself with experienced, competent people.”
I never knew that was another term for “batshit insane and completely unqualified”.
Next 4 years are gonna be like the Keystone Kops on meth and LSD, and they’re armed.
“My wife kept telling me, ‘He’s going to surround himself with experienced, competent people.'”
Like George W. Bush did.
And the dumbass idiot fatass “joe sixack Real Murrikans” elected a vapid fucking Fascist President. Who exactly did they expect him to surround himself with??
The media ought to be ashamed of themselves, their false equivalence bullshit is part of the reason WE ARE HE AND ALL GONNA DIE in the first place.
Yup. Complete enabling by the fourth estate, allowing for a fifth column takeover, so the only solution is SIX SIX SIX… THE NUMBER OF THE BEAAAAAST!
Now Carr will have to throw and Hippo will lose in fantasy, too. Plus I hate the goddamned Chefs.
THIS RAIDERS DEFENSE, I CALL IT A BIKINI, BECAUSE IT’S DISAPPEARED IN THE COLD
Maybe Trump can increase Russian imports
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51551/57ecfd515509594.jpg
Spies Like Us?
Fuck yeah.
Not gonna lie, I’m pretty surprised Andy Reid didn’t challenge the referee’s decision that Alex Smith wasn’t over the line on that last throw.
What is this competence Alex Smith is demonstrating?
Travis Kelce gets all the KC strange huh?
Its 20 degrees out and the Cheerleaders are covering up? Bullshit. Lets see those nipples.
Charles Dickens would want to see their nipples
“Combo platter?” Andy Reid licks his lips, searches Yelp for Chinese restaurants