Your “A Broken Clock Gets It Right Once A Year” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Well lookee here! We got ourselves a great tilt between two superior teams with a history between them and a division lead in the mix. Everyone says that 2016 started going downhill right after David Bowie was shot to death in that zoo enclosure but if that is what it takes to finally get a quality matchup on a Thursday night I’m good with it. Or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Perhaps this is the NFL Scheduling Squad’s version of Susan Boyle walking on to The Gong Show’s stage. Did I just reference “The Gong Show”? I couldn’t be more embarrised. TO THE GAME!

Oak/KC-This game speaks for itself but I have to type something otherwise I won’t not get the money that isn’t owed to me. The last team to beat the Raiders? You bet it was the Las Vegas Golden Knights, er, the Chiefs. The Raiders have won 6 straight and the Chiefs are 20-4 over their last twenty-four games. As good as the Raiders have played they are vulnerable to the run game. They gifted the Bills with 212 yards on the ground and a 7.1 yards per carry average just last week. We all know how committed KFC HC Reid is to the run/short-passing game and perhaps this will be an effective antidote to the ridiculous awesomeness that is Khalil Mack. Oakland’s offensive line is rated just behind the Cowboys and since week 8 the Chiefs have averaged 3 sacks per game-SOMETHING MUST GIVE!

As always, check out the crazy goings-on at Free Ballin’ Football down below. Has Bill finally come to terms with his heterosexuality? When will Josh finally admit that the bunny slippers belong to him? Where did Tim’s toenail-clippings diorama disappear to? Will someone finally explain to Nick the difference between ‘peanuts’ and ‘penis’? For the answers to these questions and some quality jaw-wagging about NFL-related goings-on check it out.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
432 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
WCS

Every time this iPhone commercial airs, God kills a puppy.

WCS

HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck my prognostication

WCS

Skyler Howard approves of that play call and execution.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The good news for the Raiders is they don’t have to worry about leaving Andy Reid too much time if they score here.

WCS

Troegs Scratch 262 Chocolate Stout

Quite tasty. I wouldn’t recommend drinking more than two, because it’s like eating an entire bag of Halloween chocolate, and washing it down with two loaves of bread, but, a very good beer for a bottle or two.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game is going to end 21-19 on a missed two point attempt.

Croooow

23-19. Berry gets another Pick-Two.

litre_cola

Yes.

litre_cola

HAIL BLEERGH!!!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

I just finished a rather ELECTRIFYING post for tomorrow, that may tie in with DFO-Con: Vegas.

I am a sick and disturbed man, and you have all been warned.

King Hippo

Is there stomping? Perchance CLAPPING??

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Worse… So very much worse…

King Hippo

I think I speak for us all when I say we could all use a little MOAR darkness in our lives.

litre_cola

I would really like to go to next years

litre_cola

Assuming it is in Wichita.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Location is currently up in the air, but there most certainly will be another.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Assuming I’m the only DFOer who has been to a strip club in Wichita.

Stick with Vegas.

Curse of Marino

The fuck was that shit Amare?

Col. Duke LaCross

Is Cooper shaving points?

litre_cola

My buddy just texted me that

Fronkenshteen

Yes. Mine.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If they’re committed to line driving it to Hill to not let them set up blocks, why not just play four down football? You’re conceding 15-30 yards of return every time. Fuck it, run on 3rd and treat 4th like 3rd.

Croooow

Holy crap, that was a walk-in TD.

Old School Zero

CURSE OF TNF

Curse of Marino

THIS DAVID CARR, I CALL HIM BRIAN BALDINGER BECAUSE HIS PINKY IS FUCKING GROSS

King Hippo

How shitty must Carr’s backup be?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

First DFOer to name a child Latavius gets my $12

litre_cola

Mrs Cola said no. No Latavius, Vontaze, Charcandrick or Tyreek. Reverse racism if you ask me.

Col. Duke LaCross

I thought about Cre’Von.

Curse of Marino

O, my kingdom for a working pinky finger.

–Carr, probably

Unsurprised

Jesus is Fucking Metal

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alex Smith working hard to not let this game come down to Andy Reid clock management or one of his own backbreaking interceptions.

Croooow

I’d rather see Tennessee win that division. Mariota in the playoffs would be fun.

litre_cola

I think that there really is a place for flares in the NFL.

Senor Weaselo

They already played at Azteca!

litre_cola

Flares, not projectile bags of urine. There is always room for that.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I can see it for penalties, instead of flags, but they must be bright yellow. PRAISE BLEERGH WITH BURNING MAGNESIUM!

Unsurprised

Up Roger Goodell’s ass?

Brocky

Damn, was that puddle of mudd….

man that takes me back

Curse of Marino

Seriously, what the fuck is Carr doing? He hasn’t thrown past the sticks on a 3rd down yet. Not once. What the fuck.

Brocky

him and alex smith switched bodies freaky friday style.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS TYREEK HILL, I CALL HIM THE AMERICAN DREAM, BECAUSE HE MOVES SO DAMN FAST AND ALMOST NO ONE CAN CATCH UP TO HIM

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP’S SECRETARY OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, BECAUSE HE WANTS NOTHING MORE THAN TO STRANGLE PREGNANT BLACK WOMEN

Unsurprised

Jesus

WCS

Carr: 12-31 for 94 yards, no touchdowns, no INTs

Alex Smith looks across the field in absolute jealousy.

Curse of Marino

Derp

Curse of Marino

ahh the ol’ Jarvis Landry play.

Curse of Marino

Anything can happen on Thursday? Even the Seahawks beating the Rams!?

Croooow

Rams lose 50-3. Jeff Fisher gets another three years.

Brocky

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does that make Bryant Deputy Small Business Adminstrator?

Brocky

he’s more qualified than linda, thats for sure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Laaaaaaaaaaame

Curse of Marino

Listening to Ike speak on South Park is ALOT funnier when you remember that Ike is voiced by Trey Parker’s daughter.

Brocky

for some reason, i thought this gif had ike saying it

Spur

shut the fuck up Kelce

Brocky

Chris: Kelce cannot block mack, he just can’t

Brocky does spittake

Did Chris just say something a white te can’t do?

Senor Weaselo

Is it bad that I first read that as “spitakke” and wondered what that was?

Old School Zero

THESE RAIDERS COLOR RUSH UNIFORMS I CALL TECHBRO GENTRIFICATION BECAUSE IT’S THE ONLY WAY OAKLAND ENDS UP ALL WHITE

litre_cola

I really like this.

Curse of Marino

Das Raycess?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I fall asleep with the tv on, am I going to have nightmares about being covered in bbq sauce and being eaten by a walrus?

litre_cola

Just another Thursday

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nightmare? More like fetishmare!

Brocky

comment image

Brocky

comment image

Brocky

I’m just gonna say it:

Dave Williams looks alarmingly rotund to be supposedly concerned about diabetes.

King Hippo

could they get any farther up the Chefs’ collective ass tonight?

Dunstan

Al & Cris’s ability to crawl up ass vs. Andy Reid’s ass?

Truly a battle of irresistible forces and immovable objects

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Khalil Mack may be talented, but why don’t more white sportswriters pleasure themselves to thoughts of him rather than JJ Watt? NOT ELITE.

Curse of Marino

HOT TAEK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Classic Comment.

Sharkbait

Wooo Ice Giants win!

*Needs to get NFL Network*

litre_cola

Not happy about this. Keep it down over there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Croooow

I’m convinced every team has a player whose sole job is to commit “Block in the Back” penalties.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, at least my company has my ba…..

http://68.media.tumblr.com/876aa08dfad30a4a1d3c9135c626014c/tumblr_na9doutcAD1st94tso6_250.gif

Fuuuuuuuuu……….

Croooow

How will Alex Smith turn it over this time?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now that I know this isn’t real, who wants to help me fund making it so:

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_584999efe4b04002fa803717

WCS

How has humanity not killed itself off about eleventy zillion times by now?

Brocky

something something, glory boy holder….

Curse of Marino

Turns out a black punter, is still a punter.

Unsurprised

It’s okay if you pronounce it punta

litre_cola

Oh my, I laughed a lot at this.

Old School Zero

True, but he could be the first punter to be accidentally shot by police while shopping in Nordstrom’s.

Brocky

he’s supposed to be athletic

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Urban punter?

Senor Weaselo

Hey Sharkbait, what’s the Finnish version of smoothies?

WCS

We’re approaching Peak Andy Reid levels already…

litre_cola

Insert ‘It’s happening gif”

/As I have no idea how

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh