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Quotables Week 14 – Results Awesomeness

theeWeeBabySeamus

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, ,

Am I overselling it?  Really?  I thought “Awesomeness” was pretty good.  No?

OK, my agent has instructed me to state that “Awesomeness” is a word chosen by me, personally, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions or interests of the [DFO] Network or any of its subsidiaries.

But fuck them….I think you guys are awesome.

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JerBear50, gets a double shot in.  Nicely done….

Gotta go. Working on a trade with Dallas.
No Andy, for the last goddamn time, this is Tony Romo. ROMO, NOT ROMA!!!

Unsurprised tickled my funny bone with this one…..

This makes sense when you remember that the word “safety” doesn’t exist in Baltimore.

But then again, LemonJello did as well….

Giving up two early in the night, also known as a Baltimore Prom Night.

Bravo to BrettFavresColonoscopy for this one…..

Sure, but when a journalist calls Dan Snyder an amoral circus midget, they get sued…

BeerGuyRob…..always funny….

Sensing a dusky presence behind him, Chip ascertains his wallet’s location in his pants before lingering on his balls, providing his only enjoyment of the day.

CurseOfMarino going big on his own(?) team.  I like it….nicely done….

“It was then Ryan Tannehill realized that you’re not supposed to dry off a football with a wet towel.”

 

Oh LemonJello….if you had a vagina….errrrr ummmm….never mind, we’ll talk later….or not….

(seriously….this was some funny shit)

D. Sproles: “Purple monkey dishwasher, mambo dogface banana patch!” T. Green: “Oh, Darren, I know exactly how you feel.”

SunriseSunrise gets the gist of my intention of the Rams’ celebration….I knew I liked him.

Per Los Angeles Unified School District – Middle School Athletics, section 7.9, participation trophies for every member.

SunriseSunrise going BIG!!!!!!

Eli: I wonder if mom will let obj take me to his ranch.

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I think that’s it.  If I forgot a gif, my apologies.  I might be drunk.  Or high.  Or huffed.  Or spun out.  Or chasing the dragon.  Or…..

But I really mean it when I say that everyone did very well, I must say.  Seriously, this was a lot of fun.  I vote we banish Blax and that me and balls alternate weeks.

/remembers that’s more work, less drinking time

Never mind….Blax is doing just fine.

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UNNECESSARY TMI TIME ALERT!!!!!!!

I think I’m going to grow the beard out again, now that it’s cold.

beardbro

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Unsurprised

The Tiny Darren gif when it’s loading and just the first frame is so full of yellow jacketed security doofuses that I thought I was seeing spots and had developed a concussion just looking at this fucking page.

(This still may be the case)

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LemonJello

DFO Injury Report:

Unsurprised: Questionable – Concussion Protocol

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Bloody Lethal

A guy walks into the store and steals $100 bill from the register without the owner’s knowledge. He comes back 5 minutes later and buys $70 worth of goods with the $100 bill. The owner gives him back $30 in change. How much money did the owner lose?

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nomonkeyfun

Hey, I’m already logged in to wordpress, no need for these brainteasers.

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jjfozz

In Baltimore, he loses everything because the guy who walked back in forgot to shoot the owner of the store.

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blaxabbath

That’s called a Baltimore — wait.

Damnit, this isn’t fun anymore.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

$165, assuming be bought the goods for 1/2 of what they were to be sold for.

Or $200.

/dickjoke

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entropy

Peaceful times, have come and gone
It’s time to fuckin’ kill somebody.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdFwM9tnuNE

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jjfozz

Here’s what happens:
1. Dipshit Duo: Flacco and Morningwheg combine for that abortion of a play. 2 points.
2. Patriots gain momentum.
3. We try to gain it back but because we are fuckheads, we don’t. Also that motherfucker Jimmy Smith is apparently constructed of the finest fucking porcelain in existence.
4. Now we have to win out.
5. That shit ain’t happening.
6. So no playoffs.
7. Shocker.
8. So a season ends on a safety.
9. Fucking Baltimore.
10. The “prom night” caption made me laugh and laugh.
11. Fuck you football and emotional investment I put into a game that’s played by psychotic neanderthals, coached by demonic egomaniacs, and owned by greedheads whose actions would shame Attila the Hun.

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Unsurprised

Don’t forget to add that Roger Goodell Is A National Disgrace

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entropy

Also, Touchdown Seahawks.

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Unsurprised

I love the banner

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entropy

I haven’t been clean shaven since I was 17, so as long as you know how to use things like a chainsaw, grow the beard.

Oh, that wasn’t the kind of beard you meant?

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LemonJello

“You have my interest.”

-A. Rodgers

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Bloody Lethal

Howdy yall.

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LemonJello

comment image

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Curse of Marino

I could watch Tiny Darren get his bell rung all day.

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Senor Weaselo

It’s a tiny bell.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Lemonjello’s Baltimore Prom Night was my favorite.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Also, i vote no on the Grizzly Adams beard. I hear the ladies don’t like it because it scratches when you are….doing stuff.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You say that as if that is a current consideration of mine.
So cute.

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Senor Weaselo

I also vote no on beards, but that’s because I have to worry about things like consistent contact with my instrument and keeping my entry angles the same and… I’m gonna shut up now.

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LemonJello

“Entry angles? Tell me more.”

-again, A. Rodgers

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