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Your “Seattle Doesn’t Care If Stafford Has A Thorn In His Paw” NFC Wildcard Game Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Det/Sea– Let’s be honest. We’re all pretend friends here, right? Does this not look like a Seahawks win etched in stone? Detroit has lost three in a row. They’re one and done the last eight times they’ve donned cleats for an extra game. Qb Stafford is 1-23 (1 and 23!!!) on the road vs. teams over .500. WOOF! The Lions D is dead last in the rankings despite having the finest living room accessory/head coach in the league. I’d like to see Andy Reid emulate a throw pillow! Grit Monster Zach Zenner is going to give it his best but throwing pearls before swine don’t win football games.

GIVE IT YOUR BEST SENTIENT HUMANS!

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

Damn. This is new.

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Beerguyrob

Deadpool – still a great movie.

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laserguru

We still need to wake up in here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk

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JerBear50

You have no idea how much I played that cassette when I was growing up. I’m surprised I didn’t wear it through. I’ve listened to it in recent years and a lot of the songs still hold up.

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Brocky

that’s the thing though.

she’s noticeably bad in pretty much everything, and for that couple of years there where she was the “it” girl, it seems you couldn’t go 2 months without her appearing in something.

many ancestresses are just as attractive and come across far better on screen, such as scarlett johansen, portman, and emma stone.

get my meaning?

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Brocky

this was a reply about the in depth discussion of jessica alba’s acting chops.

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laserguru

One of the many things I love about this wonderful place is you can walk into the middle of a conversation without being there in the first place and join right in the discussion.

What happened to Jessica Alba again?

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Brocky

hollywood realized her sex appeal only had so much drawing power.

a few gifs of her early work were posted below, and I was commenting on her absurd lack of acting ability in relation to other starlets.

she was the worst.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

She also hated everyone for only thinking of her as a sex symbol and was a dick about it. even though her “acting” parts of her movies were universally disliked by critics, fans, the public… I guess anyone that wasn’t fapping to her in one of her roles at an important moment in their life.

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Brocky

and i could only fap to one starlett so much…

oh shit did i say that out loud

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Unsurprised

Now she runs a billion-dollar unicorn because Silicon Valley is equally fucking idiotic, although capitalizing off fretful white upper-class moms was an inspired move that no one else got around to doing first.

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laserguru

Goddamn.

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laserguru

I’ll be right back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aV7CoZ84fM

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ballsofsteelandfury

I love that movie!

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Brick Meathook

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laserguru

Y’all need to wake up in here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoYwovd9ASA

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laserguru

Free whiskey shot to the first one of you who can name the singer without a google search.

No it’s not Uncle Al.

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JerBear50

Not a clue.

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laserguru

I’ll give just the one clue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoA_zY6tqQw

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JerBear50

Sorry man, way out of my wheelhouse.

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blackroseMD1

Would a Jello shot be more appropriate?

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laserguru

THAT’S MY BOY!

I’m hittin Jameson this moment.

/wait

That was delicious.
Thanks for the whiskey shot.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That seems like a waste. I should probably go to bed instead so I can wake up with like 3 hours to go buy all the breakfast food at the store and cook it before the early game…. All the breakfast food that doesn’t have eggs in it, god damn living at home with someone with weird allergies.

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laserguru

I think I’ll do of those breakfast for dinner things tomorrow.

I love breakfast but I can’t function after a “real” breakfast in the morning.

Much better for dinner.

Then you can drink beers with your breakfast and not feel guilty.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I get cock blocked on doing that so much here I don’t even try anymore. You are gonna make your homemade pizza that is great OTHER than the sauce that is fucking horrible and makes me sick for a day every time? Of course buying a sauce based on he was in a movie from the 70’s about hockey makes sense.

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laserguru

You can copy the above comment directly into the next episode of Hard Ride To Nowhere verbatim.

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JerBear50

Coffee beer works too, especially with some redeye gravy.

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JerBear50

That’s what breakfast stout is for. Biscuits’n’gravy’n’beer

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Beerguyrob

So I am now at my brother’s. We are having beers and watching Deadpool because my friend hasn’t seen it yet.

Tomorrow, I get to go home and tell my wife I lost my Trusted Traveller pass because said friend tried to bluff his way across the border.

I don’t think I’m getting divorced, but I am in for a world of hurt.

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JerBear50

What’s the pass do, get you through the border crossing quicker?

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Beerguyrob

NEXUS. I went in the wrong line, and all of a sudden I’m illegally circumventing immigration.

End of the day it’s my bad, but I’d really love to blameshift this somehow.

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JerBear50

Goddammit, are we gonna have to build walls up there too?

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Unsurprised

They’re going to build the wall to keep shitheads like us out.

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JerBear50

Not for me they’re not. It was in the 50’s when I drove in to work tonight and I was fucking freezing. Nothing at all against Canada, but I’d be way more likely to head south than north.

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laserguru

That’s good survival instinct!

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JerBear50

I will never live more than a couple miles from the coast and I’ll never live further north than the Gulf. Warm weather and beaches are far too important. Hell, I went to the beach on New Years Day and it was busy as shit.

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laserguru

Supposed to be 70 tomorrow.

Think I’ll take a walk.

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JerBear50

We’ve just got a cold front hitting for a couple days. It’ll be back in the 70s and 80s by Tuesday, which is good because I start vacation Monday. I’d have been fucking pissed if I blew my time off and the weather turned to shit.

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laserguru

This guy?
This Guy!

Hell yes JerBear50. I’ve been on a beach since about 1985.

See no reason to change.

The rent is more than offset by the lack of use of any utilities.

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Unsurprised

I’m pretty sure this is lingerie and not a bikini, but I’m not complaining.

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Brocky

hmmm, keep in mind this is from a swim wear ad

http://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Kate-Upton-Beach-Bunnys-2012-Photoshoot-20.jpg

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Unsurprised

Hello, Delores.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I finished the story on MGS: V, The Phantom Pain last night, and I’m still picking up the pieces of my mind.

http://rsmg.pbsrc.com/albums/v737/FoxCry/Animations/Mindfuck.gif?w=480&h=480&fit=clip

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Unsurprised

Link’s not working correctly.

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Unsurprised

ANYWAY … So what does the Phantom Pain turn out to be?

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Brocky

i thought the pain was that guy who got attacked by a shit ton of bees in mgs 3.

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Unsurprised

http://replygif.net/i/221.gif

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

REVENGE!!!!!

If you’ve played the other main games though, it brings EVERYTHING together across the timelines in the perfect way.

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Unsurprised

I can dig it

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Brocky

I should probably get around to playing that eventually. kinda put a stop on buying systems when they came out, really behind the times it seems.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is this like that time where you were like “Hey, guys, join this club I started where we beat each other up and then commit acts of vandalism but it turns out I have multiple personality disorder but it’s okay cause I have really great abs”?

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Jesus, dude! What were the first AND second rules?!

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Unsurprised

(Shut uuupppppp …)

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Brocky

She’s great, but honesty to god she is one of the worst actresses i’ve ever seen.

olivia munn gets flak, but alba is somehow worse. I’ve seen marionettes who are less wooden.

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Unsurprised

I couldn’t give less of a fuck about her acting. She just needs to be mute in everything she’s in. And preferably act only in gif-worthy vignettes like the above.

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Brocky

so, did everyone clear out?

DID I MENTION I LIKE CHICKS IN RED GLOVES?!!

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Mr. Ayo

You can do better

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Brocky

that’s a toss up to be honest…

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Mr. Ayo

In retrospect, that’s true

http://dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/shutterstock_1958799.jpg

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Unsurprised

At the moment I’m kinda wishing she was armless

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JerBear50

I’m still popping in here and there.

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