Your “‘Raining Money’ = Good; ‘Golden Shower’ = Bad; ‘Getting Hosed’ = Depends” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

To think what the Founding Fathers would say!

I supposed Ben Franklin would approve, although he would have preferred French courtesans and older women.

I’m not sure how the alt-left would have dealt with this. Urolagnia doesn’t lend itself to offence like “Beta-cuck” did for the alt-right.

Look for Drs Oz & Phil to have episodes on this soon!

NFL Notes:

  • Coaching hires:
    • Vance Joseph, by the Broncos, to a four-year deal.
      • He’s the current Dolphins defensive coordinator.
    • Sean McDermott, by the Bills.
      • He’s the current Panthers defensive coordinator.
      • No word yet from Zubaz Nation about fan reaction.
Doesn't really matter to them.
Doesn’t really matter to them.
  • The Chargers decision deadline on moving to LA has been bumped to the 17th, to avoid conflicting with Sunday’s games and Monday’s MLK Day holiday.
    • Here’s another breakdown of where the sides are.
    • The Union Tribune starts their coverage by advocating the Chargers draft DeShaun Watson with their first pick. Discuss/rage!
  • The Patriots & Cowboys are lined up behind Mark Davis to approve a move to Las Vegas, if it comes to a vote in March at the annual League meetings.
    • The Raiders are looking at other partners besides Sheldon Adelson, the guy trying to spearhead the Sands deal. This actually improves the chances, because it means Bowl Cut doesn’t have to rely on just one proposal.
  • Panic! at the Dallas practice facility today, because Zeke was in a “fender bender” about a mile away.
    • Unlike Seahawks, who get hurt drag racing outside their practice park after closing, Zeke was on his way there at 7:00 AM to begin prepping for practice.
      • Not a Cowboys fan, but I like the commitment.
    • His response to media queries? “I’m good. I’ve been in bigger collisions. Lol”.
  • I hope Ravens fans enjoyed that elite season, because ticket prices for 2017 are expected to be increased.

Since we last raised prices, we’ve spent about $45 million improving the stadium and over the next two and a half years, we’re going to spend an additional $120 million, and that will include putting in some escalators and elevators to the top level, which will make a lot of our PSL holders up there happy.

Finally, speaking of tickets, ESPN reports that On Location Experiences, which is partly owned by the NFL owners’ venture fund, is allowing fans of all 8 remaining teams to place refundable deposits down on Super Bowl tickets.

  • the deposit is $1000
  • the full charge goes through once their team wins the conference

On Location Experiences has about 9,500 tickets allocated for their packages, with a little more than 3,000 tickets that had to be held back, per the NFL’s stipulation, for fans of teams in the game.

  • The company has four packages available: (Yahoo!)
    • Select Package: Upper level corner or end zone seats, VIP three-hour pre-game party in the NRG Arena, priority stadium access with early entry, priority option to book hotel rooms, transportation and additional exclusive experiences. Starts at $5,949.
    • Elite Package: Lower level corner/end zone or upper level sideline seats, three-hour traditional pre-game tailgate party in the NRG Center featuring Texas style food, musical entertainment with beer and wine package, priority stadium access with early entry, premium parking, priority option to book hotel, transportation and additional exclusive experiences
    • Premium Package: Corner club seats or sideline seats, VIP three-hour pre-game party in the NRG Center, priority stadium access with early entry, premium parking, priority option to book hotel, transportation and additional exclusive experiences
    • Diamond Package: Sideline club seats, VIP three-hour pre-game party in the NRG Stadium, post-game 90-minute VIP party with on-field access after the Lombardi Trophy presentation, priority stadium access with early entry, premium parking, priority option to book hotel, transportation and additional exclusive experiences, including food offerings from James Beard-award winning chef, Chris Shepherd of Houston’s Underbelly. Starts at $12,749.

  • Hotels rooms booked separately.

Question: Do you hate yourself?

Have you ever wanted to just surrender your free will and jump on board the next big thing?

Are you tired of supporting causes & franchises that show no signs of upward progression?

Then the Dallas Cowboys have something for you!

This is an actual thing on their twitter today, presented with just the closing sentence from the nfl.com story as commentary:

Something tells us prerequisite experience in rooting for the New York Yankees, Los Angeles Lakers, Alabama football, Duke basketball, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and whatever team LeBron is on will give you the upper hand in contract negotiations.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL Hockey:
    • Habs at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Penguins at Capitals – 8:00PM | NBCSN
    • Sharks at Flames – 9:30PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA Basketball:
    • Grizzlies at Thunder – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Cavaliers at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • NCAA Basketball:
    • all other channels

I’m guessing applications to join the Browns bandwagon are just cards from Cuyahoga County Suicide Prevention. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was honestly just hanging around to give tWBS some Green Day support, his movie idea sounds good so I think I will do that as well. Goodnight gentlemen.

Brocky
Member

good night, sleep tight,

something something, bite bite

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Last one for me….It’s 3am, i gotta go watch a movie.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Before you ask….the answer is “No”, btw…..

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Always makes me giggle.
I’m damaged, btw.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Can’t believe this is about to be a dozen years old….
God I’m old. Fuck.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have no idea how my dad is alive right now. I have breathing problems, but he has steroid breathing problems, then possibly an epi pen breathing problems, all after taking every other drug. The air in our house is 80% dust right now and he can barely breath when things are fine. I closed off my room, put a fan in my window and am enjoying the still 75% dust and 45 degree temp. I went and got my old air cleaner that does dick now, turned that back on. I am about at 73% in here I guess.

Brocky
Member

damn, you seem to be having an absurdly rough go of it lately.

outsider’s guess: being a resilient son of a gun must run in your bloodline.

Be sure to give your old man a slap on the ass* and tell em that’s good hustle

*doorfliesopen.com is not responsible for any bodily harm or property damage that may result from said ass slapping

hope that helps

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad is as bad as he is because they kept poisoning him for years each time they tried to heal him. He is very allergic to eggs so they gave him antibiotics made with eggs, steroids to mask it, this again 7 more times, surgery with the promise of no egg based knock out drugs, They gave him the most egg based and wondered why he almost died. Then repeated the same process as before because he was making it up. Obviously the doctors didn’t make a mistake even though it was documented that they never made a correct choice

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He has been told to sue many times, but that gets him money maybe 5 years down the line and no doctor’s willing to try to help him out ever again

Brocky
Member

Damn, I don’t even know what to say.

the thing i’ve always heard about malpractice suits is that “no one goes to the doctor because they’re healthy” and who knows what would happened had he not gotten treatment.

my dad hates our local hospital for “causing” my gma’s stroke for temporarily taking her off blood thinners, but gives no explanation on how else they were supposed to treat her ulcers caused by them. (i.e. there is no perfect solution there)

assuming you don’t have one already, a hygrometer is great. it can determine if you need the dehumidifier or not, or if you actually need more moisture i.e. a humidifier.

even if it works like a placebo, it couldn’t hurt.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

That may be the worst case of crabs I’ve ever seen.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo
Member

How many of these cover lines became grindhouse movies? Let me rephrase that, how many of these cover lines DIDN’T become grindhouse movies?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Big Black Richard
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Big Black Richard

A great dane walks into a bar and says, “Hey everybody, highballs on me!”

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

Manute Bol walks into a bar and…….oh wait, I see you’ve already heard that joke.

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

Aaron Rodgers walks into a bar and says, “Hi! Balls on me!”

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Good one, Dick!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have grown to hate Seinfeld over the years. Made it halfway through the Norm interview

“Do you remember how all the jokes used to be clean and classy with no swear words? Do you remember when I was a shitty comic that told jokes about airplane food being weird? That was great comedy. You remember when Larry David made my career for me by writing every single line of comedy I will be remembered for? Those were the good old days”

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

Cosby pulled that shit on Eddie Murphy. “Why do you have to cuss all the time? You should be better than that.”

Do we need to remind society that when Seinfeld was in his late 30s, he was dating 16-year-old Shoshanna Lonstein? Somebody want to tell me how we’ve forgiven and forgotten that shit?

Senor Weaselo
Member

So Padre Weaselo’s watching Vikings… holy shit, they killed [redacted for spoilers]?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was supposed to watch that at some point because Donal Logue is the best. I just saw his ep count when I quick checked to make sure he was on that show. My mistake. I tried not to look.

Brocky
Member

How the fuck you doing boys?

an old video i rediscovered, film buffs and music fans unite.

except for the song/movie by bette midler, she can go die in a fire:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
Member

film buffs and music fans unite.

looks at moose’s gif

Holy shit that is great gifing . tell you what. I know this isn’t reddit, but that’s r/retiredgif material right there.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I love these

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo
Member

Disclaimer: None of that happened on the tour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I’m suddenly hungry for pancakes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

WOOOOO!!!! ::claps for 30 seconds::

/ am I doing this right? I am out of practice

Brocky
Member

lets try another gif so we can check your form:

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ballsofsteelandfury
Member

God, I loved that woman in the 90s.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I love her in ’17

Brocky
Member

I loved her in ….03 was it? 02? 01? I just remember it was pre anchorman

whenever the fuck this came out:

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Needs more wolf-whistling, I think.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

You Norm McDonald fans, he did Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee with Seinfeld.

Go watch, it’s great.
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/norm-macdonald-a-rusty-car-in-the-rain

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