Your “The Pats Walk The Primrose Path To The AFC Final Because, Well Just Because” AFC Division Playoff Open Thread

Look, I hate the Pats with all the bile I can summon just like you. Still, they are a relentlessly successful organization in much the same way that Scientology/The Tea Party/MADD/PETA/Greenpeace/Stormfront and NOW are. It’s not right by any means but here we are.

[prepares funeral pyre for the Texans]

Did I mention earlier that I hate the Pats? Yes? No? Anyway, I HATE THE PATS.

That said, the Pats fans on this site don’t make me want to jam three fingers down my throat.

Done. LET THE HATE DROPLETS RAIN!!!

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Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

Death and Texans(?).

Beerguyrob

Well, time for new SNL. Felicity Jones hosting.

Romonobyl

I’m open minded, but that show lost it’s edge and has gotten far too liberal for me. And I’m moderate.

Gratliff

I feel better about my decision to watch the Super Metroid race on AGDQ now. These fuckers are going to 100% Super Metroid in under 90 minutes. I have yet to actually do 100% on that game.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Glad all of you now depressed you showed up people showed up, you made it fun. I’ll be back in a bit. Making some leftovers among other things. Goodbye to everyone taking off.

Bloody Lethal
Brocky

underrated movie

some of the same writers as airplane, got bad reviews, but I always thought this film and wrongfully accused were great films

Beerguyrob

I figure the Steelers have the better chance versus the Pats, so naturally the Chiefs will find a way to beat them despite Andy’s clock management.

...

The worst part about this is the Bob Kraft fluffing. Please, America. Stop sucking the collective dick of the rich. They are not inherently superior.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh yeah then why are they so rich?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The worst part about this is that all the Patriot homers that bet on them actually won money.

Romonobyl

Insult to injury.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I should have known better than to get overly invested in this game, but my Patriots hate clouded my judgment.

Bloody Lethal
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish Brock had sucked this bad against my Raiders.

Curse of Marino

“WHY DIDNT YOU JUMP 20 FEET IN THE AIR?!?!?”

Curse of Marino

“Overthrow leads to an interception”…Osweiler’s season summed up pretty well.

Romonobyl

I could have easily devoted the last several hours to furious masturbation. At least I’d have something to show for it at the end.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Which begs the question….
….Who would you show?

Romonobyl

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Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Today’s games featured all of one tie score (excluding 0-0) and one lead change (both in the second quarter of the early game).

Not the most competitive day of football.

WCS

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Bloody Lethal
the Alpha and the Amoeba

WTF is that from!?!??!?! It looks like an unholy mixture of lazy-town and an instructional video on child CPR.

Brocky

massage for infants,

because some fucking parents are that stupid

the Alpha and the Amoeba

It must be cold if Belichick has upgraded from a short-sleeve hoodie to a long-sleeve hoodie!

Romonobyl

Hiding his new Mark Wahlberg tats…

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Yes, well, the man does have his pride

Romonobyl

Houston coaching staff desperately paging through the rule book searching for the elusive 18 point play…

Beerguyrob

It only existed for the week after Kubiak’s stroke.

Senor Weaselo

Biggest flopper: Tom Brady, LeBron James, Sidney Crosby, the entire Italian National Soccer Team. Who’d I forget?

Romonobyl

Poland.

Shogun Marcus

Hey! I…eh that’s fine.
/france tho?

Romonobyl

That’s actually better.

Senor Weaselo

To be fair, I said floppers, not cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

The entirety of the Bear’s starting lineup

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
theeWeeBabySeamus

Duke Basketball (artist’s rendering)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A disinterested Visanthe Shiancoe.

Brick Meathook

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Curse of Marino

Hell of a flop there Tom.

Romonobyl

At least beat the spread you useless non-existent hillbilly fucks!!!!!

Bloody Lethal

Haha it’s not going to happen…

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Brick Meathook

goes nice with your avatar

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, Bill Cowher showing up at a kid’s birthday party trying to show videos on his phone always ends well.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

One thing I enjoyed today was both Bennett brothers hurt their knees. Seahawk one I think is fine and went back in though.

Curse of Marino

Martellus is ok as well.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

The Texan’s pass defense strategy of “flail angrily” seems to be working.

WCS
Brick Meathook

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Curse of Marino

I hope the Jets, Dolphins and Bills just spend all their draft picks on white WRs so the fucking Patriots dont draft these fuckers anymore.

Senor Weaselo
Curse of Marino

Well, the Steelers are our only hope.

Brocky

falco…..

yeah the steelers are our only hope.

King Hippo

Today’s day of “close” playoff games. A late score to cut the final margin to 16, and a 15 point game where the leading team won’t bother scoring any further.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“This must be how Bernard Pollard felt after shredding Tom Brady’s ACL.”

– Jadeveon Clowney, after shredding Tom Brady’s ACL

[Rikki-Tikki-Deadly’s NFL Fantasy #24]

Brocky

did the first 23 consist of you individually removing each of his fingers, toes, penis, left ear, and dressing him in a cocktail dress?

not judging, just asking.

Romonobyl

Geico commercials are usually borderline clever. That fucking sucked.

...

I think it’s time to pass out.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Stupid Texans, a playoff win in Foxboro could have finally dethroned Rosencopter as the greatest thing in their franchise’s history.

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/706192/rosencopter-o.gif

Curse of Marino

WHY ARE YOU PUNTING YOU PUSSIES?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You are punting? I hope they follow through on the rumors of clearing out the Texans coaching staff.

Senor Weaselo

It’s Texas, so hunting man is legal, right?

Curse of Marino

Brock Osweiler, the pride of ASU.

Senor Weaselo

I thought that was *don’t say porn stars don’t say porn stars* pooooooorn stars… it is hard to think of another word.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLONT2sSmYI

Croooow

I hope Hopkins demands a trade.

King Hippo

or asks to play QB

Brocky

….
….

once again, dewey sums it up so well

this image is my spirit animal

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/632/211/aa0.png

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God I hate the Patriots.

Curse of Marino

So was this a bad game or a good game?

King Hippo

terrible, very little quality FOOTBAW filled with false hope

Brocky

it was a bad game that had us more invested than it should be

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here’s your final score, folks. Come up short of the spread by one point. Vegas couldn’t have penned it better themselves.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Okay Texans, since your quarterback doesn’t want to win this game, it’s time to rip off Dreamboat’s leg.

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/victorious/images/f/f7/Please_puppy_eyes.jpg

Senor Weaselo

“Tom Brady was the difference in this game.” -Dion Lewis, definitely not at off-screen gunpoint

Curse of Marino

80 MILLION US DOLL HAIRS

King Hippo

and I remember how Our Equine Lord and Saviour was chided by the talking heads FOAR “letting him get away.”

Brocky

hey, at the end of the day, WHOSE in the playoffs?

the fucking lions. proving how bullshit that argument is