Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”

Reid: “Yes, chef.”

JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”

Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”

JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”

Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”

JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”

Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”

JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”

Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]

Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.

Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!