Your [sacrifices goat within chalk outline of a pentagram] “THIS WILL BE A CLOSE GAME!” NFC Playoff Game Open Thread

/Fox pre-game intro

Joe: “The good folks at DFW Ice Creamery were kind enough to provide us with samples of their very delicious products. I chose vanilla. [licks cone lovingly] Mmm, that’s so good! Troy, what flavour did you choose?

Troy: “You know me, Joe. I’ll always choose chocolate when I’m in Dallas. It always tastes so good! [his tongue dances on the tip of the ice cream cone]

Joe: “Gosh darn it-I can not get enough of this delicious ice cream!” [makes slurping noises]

Troy: “Can’t help but notice I got a larger cone than you did.” [slurps happily away]

Joe: “You know what they say-it’s not how much you can swallow, it’s more important that you’re satisfied at the end. [makes small moaning sound]

Troy: “You got that right mister. I’ve no doubt that we’ll both end up with a bellyful.” [eyes roll back into head]

Producer: [begins to realize what is happening] “CUT TO COMMERCIAL! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!”

GB/Dal– Them Cowpokes get a boner, bonus with the return of cb Claiborne after an absence of nine weeks. He’s back just in time to blanket wr Cobb because ace Jordy Nelson isn’t the gritty guy that everyone thought he was. Unlike Joe and Troy he was not able to suck it up. Another Pack wr is going to have to step up and my not-money is on Geronimooooo! (Allison) to jump into the fray and make a difference. I also think that Green Bay needs a half-decent day from te Cook. If he can grab 6-8 for 70-80 yards that will take some of the pressure off the outside guys and create a wee bit of hesitation on the part of the Dallas D.

The Cowboys just need to keep doing what they’re doing and they’ll be okay. There’s no reason to think that Eezy-Zeke will be thwarted in his efforts and that will limit the number of possessions that the white/lava/scorching/witheringly [runs out of breath] hot Rodgers will have to put points on the board. In addition, qb Prescott doesn’t seem to be the ‘rattleable’ type and the Pack’s D-Line isn’t a scary bunch with a lot of “Oomph!”. (says the old white guy from his couch) All in all, more things have to go right for Green Bay than Dallas-I think it should be close for most of the game but them Cowboys might pull away in the fourth. This is not my desired result, by the way.

Done. LET’S GO GET IT, POTLICKERS!!!

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Dolph Ucker

Does not bode well.
Dammit.

Dolph Ucker

Damn. Fucked up my first comment.
This does bode well.

Dolph Ucker

Been reading and laughing at this site since back when it was a totally different site. Never thought my first comment would bring me so much joy. Team meeting and locker cleanout in JJ’s Palace of Pain at 11am tomorrow. Heh heh

Brocky

update: I still hate everything

Romonobyl

Da fuck? I got booted by my computer machine and had to use my telephone device. Well, at least it was a game.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Whoops, did not see that this had already been posted.

Spur

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Curse of Marino

Now we get to see Alex Smith unleash the dragon.

Spur

Now am hate drinking
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Spur

Fuck! Now I have to cheer for the Falcons and maybe the Chiefs. Fuck Andy Reid!

Gratliff

#TonyWouldHaveWon

Curse of Marino

Dak Prescott – GLOREEEE BOOOOOOOOY

Spur

Piece of shit sodomite pig fucker. Fuck you Rodgers. Eat a diseased asshole.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh God my neck hurts from all the whiplash

ThePirateSloth

You could say that Aaron went to Jareds…. hands!

...

You guys, you have no idea how good it feels to know Pats-Cowboys can’t happen now. It gives me hope.

Brocky

PACKERS PATRIOTS IS FAR WORSE

Shogun Marcus

*exhales for the first time in 45 minutes*

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I know, right? This can’t be good for my heart

Old School Zero

Someone keep Horatio away from spittable drinks and also krokodil

Spur

Cock sucking Rodgers.

Sharkbait

So…a regular Sunday?

Dick E. Phuck

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…

Gratliff

GIVE US SMUG ROMO FACE

LemonJello

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Brick Meathook

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Sharkbait

Sha’nkor almost says no.

King Hippo

SHE PUSHED IT BACK IN!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

That was a fucking tease of a SHANK’LOR.

Old School Zero

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

What a fucking 4th quarter.

Beerguyrob

Hot fucking damn!

WCS

Bloody brilliant.

Spur

Fuck that.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

HOLY HELL

Gratliff

*injects that shit directly into his veins*

Curse of Marino

Thats the kind of icing form I expect from a Yale man

...

Oh shit I love it when icing the kicker backfires so please please please please make this.

...

YEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

King Hippo

OH FUCK YOU

Smithchez

ICED ICED BABY

ballsofsteelandfury

Is this where SHANK’LOR makes her appearance?

LemonJello

I think she gave it just a little kiss, to pucker some assholes as it flew.

Beerguyrob

Freeze the kicker?

Beerguyrob

Ahh fuck.

Brocky

Shoot the fucker

Spur

MIss you fuck.

Sharkbait

Wow. Makes up for that drop

ballsofsteelandfury

Wow.

Brocky

Thank god there are no infants in this house, because i can’t guarantee I wouldn’t kick one.

...

WHY DOES THE NFL TEASE US WITH ONLY ONE FUCKING GOOD GAME?!

Smithchez

Don’t worry, Chiefs-Steelers will likely be so full of enjoyable stupidity it’ll more than make up for being a shitty football game.

...

I like your attitude.

King Hippo

Winner winner, SMARF’n Dinner!!

ThePirateSloth

That’s a god damn ridiculous catch

Redshirt

Wow

Curse of Marino

TOO MANY COOKS

Gratliff

BEAT DALLAS

Spur

get the fuck out of here

Brick Meathook

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