Joe and Troy At the Superb Owl

When we last left our dismal duo, Joe was lamenting the entirety of the state of Wisconsin. Troy was Eggman. Standard Operating Procedure in other words. As it turns out FOX gets the Superb Owl this year, so once again unto the breach go our beloved broadcasting team. Let’s see how they find themselves in somewhat foreign lands.

We come to you LIVE from Superb Owl L-I. Lie, as in my life has been a lie. It has to be right? No loving entity would enforce this upon someone willingly right? I mean HOUSTON? They don’t even have a football team! Yes they have Baseball, but not really. OH FATHER I’M SO SORRY. It’s so close to the border! DangeRUSS! Oh wait, this is NFC/AFC. Sorry folks, new environ, new taints to taste. I predict the best tackling in the next 16 hours will happen 7 hours away from here. Anywho…here’s my distinguished colleague Troy who should hopefully be at home here in Texas amid all the pageantry. So Troy, how are you?

OH I’M EGGCELLENT! A WHO’S WHO OF EGG-EL-ENT?! THIS KIND OF SPECTACLE IS EGGSTRODINARY!

Huh. I’m just going to keep hitting him in the head folks until I find a halfway competent being to read my final note to. So Troy, these teams? *bonk*

OH HOW PURRFECT THIS OPPORTUNITY!

What exactly is that belt supposed to hold up Troy?

THAT LITTLE BIRD WILL PURRISH!

Uhh…so not Atlanta Troy? *bonk*

IT WILL BE A COLD DAY BEFORE I ALLOW IT!

Ok. Four levels in…five to go. Happy Dante? So folks, some drunken country guy sang the anthem, shit happened. It’s 10-0 New England. I admit I don’t know them much thanks to our Glorious ginger leader. Troy? *bonk*

MASSSTER KNOWS ALL! MASTER RULES US! HIS EYE SEES US ALL! ARRGH!

Shit. We’re violating all the copyrights now. Fuck it. Dad I apologize, I wanted to make you proud but money made me sway. I’ll never be you. I’m sorry. *Shakes head* Sorry folks, I don’t know what happened there! Troy? *bonk*

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOUR WAYS WILL BECOME OURS. ASSIMILATION.

Wait? Am I Borg or Cyberman now? *Bonk*

BOTH.

Ok then. Uhh…folks we’ve hit halftime. Lady Gaga is coming up. Enjoy I guess. 15 seconds to doomsday right? *bonk*

**HALFTIME**

We can all agree that was a disgusting act right? I mean really. Who knew labia could do that? With staples even? I thought they’d call it after the raver’s dick ignited in his mouth. And calling it “Murica Face First” was a bit much. Art I suppose. Just horrific. So Troy, what say you at this 36-13 score?

Joe, I think we need to have a talk. You need to do something.

Sure Troy. You seem fairly competent for once! Alright then, awesome! FINALLY a true partner! It’s 38-20, but nevermind that. What Troy?

Something big, something GRAND. Something that will make people forever remember you. You know it’s right. This.

But the end of the game is coming and I haven’t even said good bye to my little baby Ben. I’ve done and said many awful things! So much fluid. So much regret. So many tiny globes of fecal sadness placed delicately upon an immigrants chest without fulfillment!

*ACKK..BLEGH*..Wha..Wait…BEN?

Ben the two of us need look no more…

*SLAM*

shh…shh…it’s ok now joe…go to ben…Trophy presentation is coming up. Sleep well America. I’m Troy, and I’m in control…