No, this is not about which will be the next domino to fall to Putin’s “information war” fascism (thank fuck). Chelsea hosts 3rd position Arsenal to kick the weekend off (7:30, NBCSN), and with a win or draw would take its chances of winning the League from 99% to, like 99.9 or 99.99%.

Thus, it’s high time to talk about the real stakes – slots for the 2017-18 European competitions.

Places 2-4* will make the UEFA Champions League, which is considered the bare minimum accomplishment for the so-called “big” clubs. Lo and behold, 4 teams are currently bunched at 46-47 points (Spurs, Arsenal, Liverpool, Man City), with Man United within striking distance at 42. All would consider dropping to the next competition a serious blow.

* One can also earn a Champions League slot by WINNING the previous season’s Europa League, which Premiership teams seemingly never do. I am not sure if this takes away a post-season slot elsewhere or not.

The NIT of sorts is the Europa League, though it is arguably more fun from a TV perspective (not being dominated by the same 4 or 5 clubs year in and year out, also with games on Thursday evening). This kinda sorta goes to places 5-7, but can be trumped by an “outsider” (ie, someone not in the Top 7 of the Table) winning the League Cup and/or FA Cup. The FA Cup bid also gets preferential “seeding” in Europa, which means even a 6th position side can end up stuck playing preliminary round fixtures in fucking July.

Right now, Europa is Everton’s sweet spot (with 37 points), though West Brom aren’t out of it (33). But Southampton are in the League Cup final, and a Saints win there over United would force the Toffees to catch said United squad in the Table, or someone else to drop off massively.

Unlike the others, making Europa would represent a huge stepping stone for Everton in Ronald Koeman’s first season. With plenty of young talent in the rotation, it would be an excellent learning experience, along with a marketing opportunity to add depth to the squad. No doubt that target will be on everyone’s mind in the 10:00 window hosting yeah right’s Bournemouth Cherries (Extra Time).

The “main games” are Hull vs. the Shite (NBCSN) and fucking Palace vs. Sunderland (CNBC) for reasons unknown. Christ, even if you don’t want to watch Everton, I vastly prefer Watford/Burnley or Saints/Hammers on Extra Time instead.

Spurs host Middlesbrough on NBC (12:30), in what should be a mismatch. However, Spurs’ recent form means nothing should be taken for granted.

NBCSN’s Sunday Funday doubleheader is rather meh, with City hosting Swans (8:30), then United at Formerly Foxy Footy (11:00). Swans have been playing much better of late, while Leicester are in absolute free fall.

Pretty harsh, given that nothing else of interest happens on 5 February.