Request Line: Normal at Heart

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – EVENING

Open on an empty studio.  The door opens and GARY KUBIAK and a PRODUCER step through, chatting happily.  GARY KUBIAK takes a seat at the booth.

PRODUCER: …and I’ll be in here with you for the interview segment, and then I’ll head out to the other side of the glass for the rest of the hour.

KUBIAK: Okay, sounds good.  Thanks for such a thorough rundown.

PRODUCER: Well, your doctor asked us to keep the surprises to a minimum.

KUBIAK: [laughs gently] Ha ha ha, no objections from me!

Outside the booth, the intern CONNOR taps on the glass and then counts down with his fingers before hitting a button on the console.

PRODUCER: Greetings!  I’m so thrilled to have all you football and music fans back with us for another season of Request Line!  Our first guest of the season is former Broncos head coach Gary Kubiak.  Welcome, Gary!

KUBIAK: Thanks for having me.  It’s an honor to be here.

PRODUCER: So after one last delicious victory over the Raiders, your time as a head coach in the NFL has come to an end.

KUBIAK: It has, I’m sorry to say.  Physically I just wasn’t able to keep up with the rigors of coaching.  The stress was taking its toll on my health, so for the good of myself and my family I decided it was time to step away from the game.

PRODUCER: That final victory over the Raiders must have been an exciting way to go out.

KUBIAK: It was nice.

PRODUCER: And what did you think of the Super Bowl?

KUBIAK: To be honest, I didn’t even watch.  I went hiking with my nieces instead.

PRODUCER: Oh, wow.

KUBIAK: Yeah, right now it’s all about getting back to living a normal life.  I think after the last three weeks we could all agree that “normal” sounds just terrific.

PRODUCER: Are you planning on staying in Denver?

KUBIAK: Until the end of the school year.  After that, we’ll see.  I’m told the Florida panhandle is nice.

PRODUCER: So now that you’ve had a taste of it, is there any chance you’d like to spend more time in the broadcast booth?

KUBIAK: Oh, I doubt it.  As much as I’d like to knife Joe Buck in the throat, I…

PRODUCER: I’m sorry?

KUBIAK: [mildly] Hmm?  I said, as much as I’d like to knock Joe Buck off his throne, I think I’ll just enjoy retirement for a while before I think about doing anything else.

PRODUCER: Well, that covers all the questions I had.  Let’s get to the requests.  I have to say, this interview has been refreshingly…normal.

KUBIAK: That’s the plan.  Nice and normal.

The PRODUCER steps out of the booth.

KUBIAK: So for all you listeners out there, this week’s topic is “Hearts”.  I’d like to dedicate this first song to my wife Rhonda.  My heart is yours, darling.  Please take good care of it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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Don T

Bad Reputation – Joan Jett and the Black You Knows
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5RAQXg0IdfI

Yeah it’s a stretch.

But what a fuching song

Don T

Huey Lewis & The News Heart and Soul

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8TdaXhpjHws

Make it a double, Heart of R&Roll
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=M7JVlpm0eRs

Still love ⬆️

Don T

The fellas at the Overkill Division send Ashtray Heart by Capt. Beefheart
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xf26h8pD8e4

JerBear50
SonOfSpam

STP in the hizzy (which is, I believe, slang for “vagina”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVPzWkdhwrw

Gratliff
Cuntler
Cuntler

Modest Mouse – Heart cooks brain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2qgEl4KWB4

Cuntler

My hearts and thoughts, they faaade away…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z0cKtSlHOU

Cuntler

My van has a waterbed in the back and a circular window . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0OX_8YvFxA

SonOfSpam

Gentlemen, say hello to the second base mobile.

http://i.imgur.com/ASDaIj8.png

Gratliff
SonOfSpam
Fronkenshteen

Willie & Waylon – Good-Hearted Woman
https://youtu.be/dVBbDOWLR70

Fronkenshteen

Gerry & the Pacemakers – Ferry Across the Mersey
https://youtu.be/08083BNaYcA

laserguru

Straight outta Orange County.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBhA1WeHors

Gratliff

I didn’t realize how many amazing songs have Heart in it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh44QPT1mPE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

yeah right’s pick reminded me of the only good thing off of that horrible album where Santana collaborated with Dave Matthews, Rob Thomas, and Everlast (I would have rather he collaborated with Dave Thomas and a bottle of everclear):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6omUxqhG78

Gratliff

How is this not the first listing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6P0SitRwy8

laserguru

If you aren’t familiar with early Queen I recommend getting familiar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESJ3iH9i04Q

SonOfSpam

Hell yes.

laserguru
Cuntler

Really old country: Ray Price – Heartache No. 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfEmGMO8-Ss

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He missed an opportunity to collaborate with Ray Rice on songs about other body parts aching due to too much love.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t touch anything where Kellen Winslow is sitting

ArmedandHammered

Last for me and definitely not least (and yes I know the Led Zep version was posted already)

Dread Zeppelin – Heartbreaker (At The End Of Lonely Street)
https://youtu.be/rAM1MKi7bNU

ArmedandHammered

I only post songs I actually have in my collection, a self imposed rule so I don’t go overboard, so I looked to find one more, just for you RTD

Rod Stewart – You’re in My Heart
https://youtu.be/zZTwASoqkns

Cuntler

How did we miss some BON FUCKIN’ JOVI?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ0Yd-Pburs

ArmedandHammered

Thievery Corporation – The Heart’s A Lonely Hunter ( ft. David Byrne )
https://youtu.be/KXKiK-c8xTg

Cuntler

Total Eclipse of the Heart – The Dan Band

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXKIECZpvqg

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Winrar

SonOfSpam

Really fun live show if you ever get the chance.

ArmedandHammered

Since Cuntler took Heart of Gold

Heart of Glass – Blondie
https://youtu.be/WGU_4-5RaxU

Don T

Was gonna be my 1st spin

Spanky Datass

Mine too, but I’m soooo late.

Cuntler

Foolish Heart – Grateful Dead

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4mcdEq_XSU

(Their 80’s videos are terrible)

Cuntler

Heart of Gold (Johnny Cash version)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drsMyeXzLSo

ArmedandHammered
SonOfSpam

Best Beck song since Sea Change

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6Zp84XH6Eo

ArmedandHammered

Thin Lizzy – That Woman is Gonna Break Your Heart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZJLpiejZ-o

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Double shot for a reminder of how bad the 80s could be?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NQJ3-77xvI

SonOfSpam

Weezer does Toni Braxton (I mean, songwise, not gangbangwise, although who knows):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nwcuBa4wok

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I’ve shown off enough of my eclectic taste with this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzoEK545j64

SonOfSpam

Lady Miss Kier was fine.

SonOfSpam

Heartbeats – Jose Gonzalez (who, of course, is Swedish)

Bonus: Video features lots and lots of balls!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_bx8bnCoiU

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Cuntler
Cuntler

Cuntler
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thank goodness, I thought you were going to post this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMCGvtlL4fw

JerBear50

I just posted a vid from the Blues Broad channel in the last day or two. Yes, I’m aware of how unamazing that is.

blaxabbath

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“You should go kill yourself!”

– Coach Todd Haley