The scene: Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where the sun is hot, the beers are cold and the bikinis are tiny. The spring break crowd is having a great time, partying it up on the street, when suddenly there’s a screeching of tires. The crowd quickly parts, running to safety as the Moosemobile comes tearing around the corner. Smoke billows from the tires as the car spins in a one-eighty and slides perfectly into the single parking spot left on the street.

[CAR DOORS FLY OPEN]

Old School Zero, Señor Weaselo and La Araña Discoteca all pile out onto the street. In the back seat Future Moose is snoring away.

OSZ (hugging a lamp post): Did we make it? Are we still alive?

Señor Weaselo (looking around at the spring break crowd): Si. We must be. I think heaven has a more modest dress code.

Otto’s Brain (bouncing out of the car and onto the street): Are we still alive?

Señor Weaselo: Ah…si. We have already established that.

Otto’s Brain: Sorry, I was still watching my life flash before my eyes. I got to the sexy parts and hit the pause button.

Cookiethulhu (getting out of the driver’s side): I say, old chaps, that was rather fun! I have to say, I am glad that you lot invited me along on this little adventure!

OSZ (still hanging onto the lamp post): I can’t believe Moose let you drive!

Cookiethulhu: Oh, I can’t, either! Must say, though, Covalent Blonde taught me well, eh wot?

Otto’s Brain: It makes so much sense now…

La Araña Discoteca: ¿Tenemos que ver quien es más valiente con cada camión?

Cookiethulhu: Semis are more afraid of you than you are of them, old boy.

Otto’s Brain: You do know that you’re not supposed to cross the double lines, don’t you?

Cookiethulhu: Why not? There was plenty of room on that other side.

OSZ (finally disengaging from the lamp post): I need alcohol. I need all the alcohol.

Future Moose (waking up in the back seat): Wha…? Did someone mention alcohol?

Otto’s Brain: Nice of you to wake up. We’re all safe and sound, by the way.

Future Moose (getting out of the Moosemobile): Hey, looks like we made great time! I can’t believe we’re here already.

OSZ (heading for the closest bar): We are, but my sanity was lost somewhere in Louisiana.

Cookiethulhu (following OSZ): Oh, bother! Look, chum, I knew those deputies would stop chasing us when we crossed the state line.

Señor Weaselo: They didn’t so much stop as drive into the swamp. You know…the one you jumped the car over…

The DFOers and luchadores go into the bar. There’s a hesitant knock from inside the trunk. Then it gets louder. Finally, a Spring Break bro stops and opens it up.

WCS (climbing out of the trunk): Thanks.

Spring Break Bro: No problem, brah! Like, I’ve been locked in a trunk a few times myself!

WCS: Right. Uh…did you see where the guys who were in the car went?

Spring Break Bro: No idea, brah! But, hey, we’re beer-bonging down on the beach, brah! Like, c’mon an’ join the fun!

WCS: Well, I guess a beer or two wouldn’t hurt…

Cut to: Inside the bar. It’s a hard-partying kind of place. The music is blaring, the drinks are flowing, and the clothing is sparse. Future Moose spots a table in the corner and heads for it, the other DFOers following in his wake.

Future Moose (putting Otto’s Brain on the table): Nice! This is my kind of place!

OSZ (sitting down): Every place that serves alcohol is your kind of place.

Señor Weaselo (catching the eye of a waitress): Tequila, por favor. Just bring a bottle.

Future Moose: Two. Bring two bottles.

Otto’s Brain: So, Weaselo, tell us…what’s your beef with Wolfman Rob?

Señor Weaselo: Ah! That is indeed a story, my friends. You see, it all began with a legendary luchador by the name of El Dragón Rojo…

OSZ: The Red Dragon?

Señor Weaselo: Si.

Otto’s Brain (to OSZ): How did you know that?

OSZ (shrugging): When I was a kid I had a Spanish-language Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual.

Otto’s Brain: When you were a kid. Sure.

Señor Weaselo: El Dragón Rojo was a paragon of lucha libre, loved by the masses and cheered by the crowds…

Future Moose: I know that feeling.

OSZ: He said “cheered” not “feared.”

Señor Weaselo: In time, El Dragón Rojo formed a tag team with a young American by the name of El Hombre Lobo Rob. They were a formidable duo, nearly unbeatable in the ring and almost inseparable outside of it.

Otto’s Brain: So, kind of like Horatio and his fuzzy life-partner.

Señor Weaselo: But then it all fell apart. El Dragón Rojo found out that El Hombre Lobo Rob was not a true friend after all.

Future Moose: Let me guess…Rob boffed Mrs. Red Dragon.

Señor Weaselo: Si. And his sisters.

La Araña Discoteca (holding up four fingers): Cuatro.

OSZ: Dude…

Señor Weaselo: And his mother.

Otto’s Brain: Wolfman Rob with the MILF action!

OSZ: Shut up, Otto.

Señor Weaselo: And his aunts. And his…

Future Moose: I think we get the point. I do not need to know if Rob was hooking up with Dragon’s granny.

Señor Weaselo: The betrayal destroyed their friendship, and it broke El Dragón Rojo. He hung up his mask and left lucha libre behind forever. Since that time, all luchadores are raised on the story, and many have attempted to avenge the treachery. But all have fallen short.

Otto’s Brain: Again, like Horatio.

Future Moose: Shut up, Otto. So you and the Disco Spider here want to go mano y mano with Wolfman Rob?

Señor Weaselo: Si. It is a matter of honor. But…are you certain that he is here?

OSZ: Look around, Weaselo. This place is full of drugs, alcohol and nubile young things. It’s like Disneyland for Rob.

Cut to: The beach, where WCS is chugging down a yuuuge beer bong in record time to the cheers of the Spring Break beachgoers.

WCS (with a massive burp): Woo! So much for that six-pack! Who wants to match that?

Spring Break Bro: Not me, brah! Like, you should go pro, man.

WCS: Well, I did get a few offers after graduating from Vince Lombardi High, but… Wow! Those beers are really kicking in!

Spring Break Bro: I threw a few shots of tequila into the funnel, brah. You looked like you really needed to unwind.

WCS: I’ll say! But I really should go find my friends…

A Corvette with two girls in bikinis roars up and squeals to a stop.

Bikini Girl #1: Hey, guys! There’s a big party at the Dead Dolphin Motel!

Bikini Girl #2: See you there!

The Corvette roars off in a squeal of tire smoke.

Spring Break Bro: Dude, like, you’re comin’ along, right?

WCS: Well, I guess I could look for my friends later…

To be continued…