NFL News:

• The [Redacteds] have named first black Super Bowl QB Doug Williams VP of player personnel.
• Deciding a soft Achilles is preferable to a gimpy hip, the Ravens welcomed Benjamin Watson back to camp.
• Michael Irvin held a press conference, essentially asking prosecutors to ‘piss or get off the pot’ when it comes to the sexual assault allegations against him.
  • Declaring the charges “false” and “heinous”, he ended by saying, “Make a decision, let’s move on.”

Your long-read of the day comes from ESPN, and is about Derrick Coleman – the deaf Seahawk from the Duracell commercials – getting a second chance with the Atlanta Falcons.

• He lost 2016 to hit & run charges, for which he was given community service and a restitution order.
  • The NFL penalized Coleman in October 2016 with a four-game suspension, but was given “time served” as a result of the community service.
    • Also, tattoos are worse than hit & run to Roger Goodell.
• It helps that Dan Quinn remembered his work ethic.

Tonight’s sports:

Look, I like baseball – it’s how I make my summer drinking money. But I can’t settle for that on my TV every night until football season starts. And talking to the family? RIDICULOUS! Try to do better, TV.

• ESPN: 30 For 30
  • Celtics/Lakers: Best of Enemies (Part 1) – 8:00PM
  • Celtics/Lakers: Best of Enemies (Part 2) – 10:00PM
• MLB:
  • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Yankees at Angels – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
•  WWE:
  • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
• Futbol:
  • 2017 Canadian Men’s Soccer Friendly:
    • Canada vs. Curacao – 7:30PM | TSN

There is also the return of Spike’s “Tattoo Tuesday” (or “Tattooesday”, which I refuse to use) with Dave Navarro’s “Ink Master” franchises.

This season, it’s a “Best Shop” contest, where teams of two compete against seven other teams weekly, with new ones being added after one team loses, until some point when they start counting down to a final-three.

It’s a guilty pleasure show. I admire the artistry – I have no artistic talent – and admire the confidence it takes to work a profession where you basically brand someone & they pay you for the privilege. I also enjoy the “YOU FUCKING MORON!” aspect of watching someone agree to getting a three-eyed deer on their bicep. I guess it’s the combination of the permanency & reckless stupidity I enjoy watching others put themselves through.

SOMEHOW, NOT A BROWNS FAN!