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25 Questions About …..

ballsofsteelandfury

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This.

More specifically, Canadian vacation spots. Eagle-eyed readers may remember that I mentioned in one of the open threads that my boss was going to Calgary for vacation.  Mind you, this is the first time he has gone to Canada.  And he goes to Calgary.  With his wife and young son.  And they have no family there.  For five days.

As you may surmise, this generated…questions.

1- Why the fuck did he not go to Vancouver?

2- If you’re visiting the great country of Canada for the very first time, isn’t Calgary like at least 5th on the list?

3- My boss has clearly lost it, hasn’t he?

4- Do you think maybe he has a secret Canadian girlfriend?

5- Even then, she lives in Niagara Falls, right?

6- Is Calgary like a secret sex spot that no one knows about except swinging Canadian couples?

7- I don’t want to Google Image search swinging Canadian couples, do I?

8- And where do they drop off the kid?

9- It would be very Canadian for there to be day-care at the swinging Canadian couple orgy, wouldn’t it?

10- Doesn’t Montreal seem like a much sexier city to you?

11-  Have you also heard the stories about the Montreal strip clubs?

12- Is that actually true or just urban legend?

13- Or is that spelled “ourban” legend in Quebec?

14- Do they have strippers there without tattoos?

15- Seriously, have any of you gone to a strip club recently and found a stripper WITHOUT tattoos?

16- It’s like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, isn’t it?

17- Do Montreal strippers apologize for getting you to orgasm?

18- And do they provide you with a 10% off coupon for the dry cleaners next door?

19- That’s synergy, isn’t it?

20- Do your bosses talk about synergy?

21- How much money would you tip a stripper named Sinergy just for the name alone?

22- Would she do a double-team lap dance with her friend Sinderella?

23- Or do you think Sindy would be more up for it?

24- So, we’re settled that Calgary is Canada’s secret Sin City, right?

25- Does it surprise you that I typed all of this at work right next to my boss’ empty office?

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blaxabbath

Steve Scalise to ever-so-slightly take a stance on gun control and become the DNC establishment-backed 2020 Presidential candidate.

BOOK IT!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I was really hoping someone would go into great detail about the virtues of Montreal strip clubs…

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litre_cola

I was there for a stag last year. There are many different kinds there. Classy (no touchy), medium classy (private lesbian shows), and back alley where you sit there and you KNOW thr pimp is watching. The medium ones strike a nice balance between vagina in your face and it not being diseased like the back alley type places. To note, if you have a crew with you a bottle of CC rye is cheaper than individual drinks but beware that the dancers will drink your booze.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Classy-no-touchy-GI!” or “me love you long time”

/thas rayciss.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Didn’t know they had Canadian Big Brother….. shoulda guess since they have an Ecuadorian one.

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SonOfSpam

Seems like Calgary is Canada’s Tucson.

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blaxabbath

Doubtful. Tucson. Is. Bad.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Has your boss read about me giving BFC’s buddies edibles for the stag he was here for?

People who visit here come as we are an hour and change away from Banff and the mountains. Vancouver is awesome but expensive. Montreal is the fucking best, in the summer.
1. Montreal (summer)
2. Vancouver
3. Toronto I guess
4. Kelowna and environs
5. Southern Alberta
68. Moose Jaw
69. Nice
70. Edmonton.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I just need one more…..

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ballsofsteelandfury

Regina doesn’t make the list? I would visit just for the pronunciation!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You haven’t been in Regina.

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litre_cola

I go to Regina once a year for the LaboUr day Classic. It is Edmonton junior but more nativey.

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King Hippo

HOT TAEK: Montreal is dirty and rude, and the only place in Canadia I did not enjoy.

Quebec City is the absolute tits, though.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dirty and rude; I’m on my way.

Also a phrase that describes the inside of many DFOers pants and/or underwear.

*I am referring to cities above and not necessarily DFOers’ pants and/or underwear, although if the price is right…..

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SonOfSpam

Underwear? I thought only girls wore that.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The people I talked to in Edmonton seemed to like Calgary because it wasn’t Edmonton.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I just learned or relearned that “spaniel” is also used as a term for a sycophant. Not that I was looking for a synonyms since this could not apply to anyone in my office.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Synergy jam; is that when a corporate climbing toady REALLY likes meetings and tries to expense their extensive dry cleaning bills?

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blaxabbath

I feel like Trump announcing that the GOP baseball practice shooter is dead pretty much means that the guy is just being held in police custody and is enjoying a McMuffin.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I wonder if Alex Jones will call this one fake too.

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blaxabbath

It’s a false flag!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well the good thing is that this incident will cause all of America to unite in denunciation of political violence of ANY kind. Right?

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King Hippo

This country is SO GODDAMNED FUCKED now. I am currently reading “Hitler: Ascent” which is helpful since we are getting ready to live 1930s Germany.

Right-wing fascism lives off so-called left-populist “provocation” to “justify” what they always planned to do.

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King Hippo

But yes, I hope everyone is ok. Even a garbage human like Scalise has family.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not me; Second Amendment absolutists can reap what they sow.

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King Hippo

But again, his kids don’t deserve to have to suffer such a loss for their Dad being an asshole.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Welp, Sandyhook parents probably have a little lamentation too. My empathy is preferred to go to the cops who were trying to save people.

That said; it is a better thing to have more compassion than I.

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Unsurprised

You know this asshole would have or did tell those parents to fuck off to their faces. So I hope he and his family members each dies slowly and in great pain.

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Unsurprised

Deserve has nothing to do with anything. But he made people’s lives worse, so fuck him and his family.

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Don T

/goes to find petard .gif
//eh, tastefulness and shit

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With us First Amendment absolutists, we just get rightfully sprayed with bullshit.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The upside is that like all mass shootings in the United States, this will be forgotten within a week.

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King Hippo

There has never been an a fascist in office before with full propaganda office, without any moral compass to hold things back.

/Dubya’s moral compass was faulty at times, but he still had one. And he wasn’t a fascist.

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blaxabbath

When Giffords got all blasted up, the shooter killed some legitimately innocent people — like, who constituents who were attending the event to contact their representative. I will say that, this morning, at least this dude had the decency to not risk taking out anyone who wasn’t in his target audience.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m looking forward to the inevitable hot takes about how “if *I* were there I would have counted the number of bullets (after somehow divining what type of gun and what size magazine the shooter was using) and then rushed him with a baseball bat.”

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blaxabbath

But was there one in the chamber? And how could you have counted the number of shots with damn Capitol Police returning fire?

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blaxabbath

I remember Calgary used to have a AAA baseball team called the Cannons who would play the Tucson Toros when I was a kid and we first moved to Arizona.

I think I heard that they were the transfer who allowed for the creation of the Albuquerque Isotopes.

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But those were the days before baseball games meant blasting minority whips standing at 2nd base from the home team dugout.

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The Maestro

My old man and I almost got knifed in Calgary in 2008; we were buying tickets to a Flames game from a scalper, and dad had never seen the print-at-home tickets before this incident. Like, didn’t know this was a thing he could do. After he negotiates the price, he folds up the tickets and puts them in his pocket, he then asks the guy, who was busy with a phone call, “so where are the tickets?” Guy says, “wait, what the fuck? The fuck did you do with the tickets, asshole? Where’s the fuckin’ tickets?” I had to jump in before this guy completely blew his stack to explain to my old man that the folded bits of paper were the tickets in question… Fortunately, no appendages were lost but scalper was a fucking sketchy dude.

Old man and I paid $75 each for the tickets… As it turns out, we could’ve had almost identical seats for like $20 direct from the box office. I still rip on him for being an idiot with the scalper many years later.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I assume he and his wife are Secret Rodeo Fans. As we learned at DFOCon, they are fucking EVERYWHERE and their thirst for Coors Light and Stetson hats is unslakeable.

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ballsofsteelandfury

They are Korean. He would look damn funny in a cowboy hat, though!

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Enrico Pallazzo

Only one explanation and it’s a good one…your boss is a gigantic Bret Hart fan.

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blaxabbath

HITMAN!

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sunrisesunrise

25. That’s just good use of company time.

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