More specifically, Canadian vacation spots. Eagle-eyed readers may remember that I mentioned in one of the open threads that my boss was going to Calgary for vacation. Mind you, this is the first time he has gone to Canada. And he goes to Calgary. With his wife and young son. And they have no family there. For five days.
As you may surmise, this generated…questions.
1- Why the fuck did he not go to Vancouver?
2- If you’re visiting the great country of Canada for the very first time, isn’t Calgary like at least 5th on the list?
3- My boss has clearly lost it, hasn’t he?
4- Do you think maybe he has a secret Canadian girlfriend?
5- Even then, she lives in Niagara Falls, right?
6- Is Calgary like a secret sex spot that no one knows about except swinging Canadian couples?
7- I don’t want to Google Image search swinging Canadian couples, do I?
8- And where do they drop off the kid?
9- It would be very Canadian for there to be day-care at the swinging Canadian couple orgy, wouldn’t it?
10- Doesn’t Montreal seem like a much sexier city to you?
11- Have you also heard the stories about the Montreal strip clubs?
12- Is that actually true or just urban legend?
13- Or is that spelled “ourban” legend in Quebec?
14- Do they have strippers there without tattoos?
15- Seriously, have any of you gone to a strip club recently and found a stripper WITHOUT tattoos?
16- It’s like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, isn’t it?
17- Do Montreal strippers apologize for getting you to orgasm?
18- And do they provide you with a 10% off coupon for the dry cleaners next door?
19- That’s synergy, isn’t it?
20- Do your bosses talk about synergy?
21- How much money would you tip a stripper named Sinergy just for the name alone?
22- Would she do a double-team lap dance with her friend Sinderella?
23- Or do you think Sindy would be more up for it?
24- So, we’re settled that Calgary is Canada’s secret Sin City, right?
25- Does it surprise you that I typed all of this at work right next to my boss’ empty office?