Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
- Request Line: Do Your Job – August 17, 2018
- DFO Radio: Ain’t No Party Like A Boat Party Because A Boat Party Floats On – August 14, 2018
- The NFL Solves the Anthem “Problem” – August 8, 2018
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
A young woman in a smart suit and horn-rimmed glasses is bustling around a control board on the exterior of the booth, getting everything set up for the upcoming segment. Inside the booth, a large dark-haired young man is slumped over the desk. A PRODUCER holding a coffee mug approaches the exterior control booth and watches the young woman work for a few seconds. He then glances inside the recording booth and calmly takes a sip of his Sanka™.
PRODUCER: What’s he doing, taking a nap?
CORYNNE, THE UNDERPAID ASSISTANT: [busily flipping switches] He’s drunk.
PRODUCER: He can’t be drunk, it’s eleven o’clock in the morning.
CORYNNE: Well, he is. He tried to kiss me.
PRODUCER: [raises eyebrows]…and…?
CORYNNE: And what?
PRODUCER: …did you…?
CORYNNE: [scoffs] Ugh. No.
PRODUCER: Are you kidding? Half the women in New York would push you in front of the A train to get a chance to sit on his lap for two minutes.
CORYNNE: He smells like a Crown Royal distillery.
PRODUCER: Well, you’d better wake him up. We’ll be on the air in two minutes.
CORYNNE: Do you have a broom I can poke him with or something?
— [consciousness flies open] —
JOE NAMATH: Whazzissaathhmmmm?
PRODUCER: [via the talkback microphone] Joe? JOE.
JOE NAMATH: [groggily] Who said that?
PRODUCER: Over here, Joe.
JOE NAMATH: [blinks his bleary eyes, spots the PRODUCER] Oh, hey, Doc.
PRODUCER: Actually, Joe, I’m a radio producer. You with us?
JOE NAMATH: Sure, sure. I got my bell rung pretty good at practice yesterday, that’s all. Forgot that Doc Parnell already checked me out and said I’m fine.
PRODUCER: That was yesterday?
JOE NAMATH: [takes a flask out of his breast pocket] I think so. Head still hurt this morning, so I figured I should medicate a li’l bit, you know? [knocks back a belt]
JOE NAMATH: So whazza game plan, coach?
PRODUCER: So this show is something new the station is trying out. It’s called “Request Line”. We’re going to take phone calls out here, and feed them in to you in the booth, and then you’ll take requests from the callers and we’ll play the records for them. So all you’ve got to do is chat with the listeners a little bit and we’ll…
As the PRODUCER has been speaking, JOE NAMATH’s eyes have gotten more heavy-lidded and he starts to fade.
PRODUCER: …take care of the rest. Joe? JOE.
JOE NAMATH: [eyes blink open for a fraction of a second] Just gotta get…some…
PRODUCER: We just need a theme for the week’s songs. Joe? You got a theme for us?
JOE NAMATH: …sleep…
Okay, you heard Broadway Joe, folks! This week’s theme is songs about SLEEP! I’ll get us started with a DOUBLE SHOT from the Beatles.