Your “Don’t Want To Say Good Night” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

 

Well, there’s a couple of “games” tonight, featuring “starters” that will “play” almost an entire quarter. Except for the guys who are hurt or facing suspension, which eats up most blog coverage.

Game preview: Colts at Cowboys

Peeling back the layers of congealed gravy over at Stampede Blue, you find a fan base worried about their franchise QB and an owner who cares more about freebase than fanbase. The lead story is about how Stephen Morris is a better choice for starter in Luck’s absence than Scott Tolzien, based on only last week plus last year’s preseason. The beautiful part of this logic is that the analysis comes from watching Tolzien take on first-string starters versus Morris who’s only ever seen second- & third-string reps in preseason. To keep things depressed, they’re keeping a separate Andrew Luck injury beat.

As for the Cowboys, Blogging The Boys fortunately isn’t “All Zeke, Fuck Roger” all the time. They have a story about Ryan “Yes, They’re Related” Switzer and how – well, I’m going to let this finely-worded sentence say it for me:

Switzer will theoretically be what Lucky Whitehead was for the Cowboys, plus a lot more (you know like of actual use).

Hard-hitting analysis from a website with lips firmly implanted on Jones anatomy.

So, aside from a story outlining possible issues the Cowboys could face this season – oh look, there’s the Elliott coverage (no slut shaming) – it’s all “Dez looks great!”, “Dak looks great”, and “Look – Jerry bought a new hat!”

But there’s only one Beer Baron.

Translation: We’re going to get a lot of looks at the Cowboys backup QBs, as they try to nail down who gets to hold the clipboard during 2017. The Colts will be trying to figure out whom to sacrifice to an angry god in order to get HODOR back under center.

Game preview: Broncos at Cardinals

Mile High Report is VERY concerned about the Broncos starting QB situation:

So be warned before watching this game – there’s going to be lots of talk about Siemian & Lynch that if you don’t hear it correctly will make it sound like your TV has switched to a gay snuff film.

On the 49ers side, Niners Nation doesn’t have anything to say because it doesn’t know what people want to hear. There’s two stories on the number of scrimmage fights there’s been in their joint practices with the Broncos, a rationale about how many snaps the starters will get on Saturday night (20), an injury breakdown, and a story about how bad Blake Bortles is. The sidebar is full of stories about how bad other teams are, plus a shot at Jim Harbaugh three years too late.

So, they are clearly expecting big things from the game. The future may look bright, but only because they don’t want to talk about how sad the present actually is.

I figure the Broncos QB contest plays havoc with the 49ers ever-depleting secondary.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Colts at Cowboys – 7:00PM | NFL Network
    • Broncos at Niners – 10:00PM | NFL Network
  • Baseball:
    • MLB:
      • Yankees at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Little League World Series:
      • US Elimination game – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • MLS:
    • Chicago vs. Toronto FC – 8:00Pm | TSN
    • Whitecaps FC vs. Houston – 10:00PM | TSN

HAVE A GOOD EVENING!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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blaxabbathblackroseMD1UnsurprisedBrick MeathookBeerguyrob Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I may make gifs of streamble.com/mcnle , streamble.com/g7km2 , streamble.com/9bmdg , streamble.com/grrft in the morning if you have any quips to share.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Man I love these:
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is like the beginning of The Salton Sea–The Salted Cheese

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Birds can’t afford Beemmmmers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Something is inflating.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone need a ride to the airport tomorrow morning?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve never heard it called “ride to the airport” before.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to sleep. This is it for me.
Enjoy the rest of your night, gents.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No

theeWeeBabySeamus

If you don’t, I’ll never forgive you.
Give your girl a hug and then get crunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook…..ook.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

If a touchdown occurs in Houston, does it count?

https://streamable.com/mcnle

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Dude, WTF. The Search For Cock is right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw at the beer festival they sold tasting glass lanyards for $1 each, and only one of the people I was with laughed/got it when I said “I’D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That’s a good joke. I wouldn’t have thought to come up with that.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Jay left for Miami wondering how he ever lived so long in Illinois.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This cat wants to remind you that Jay was born in Santa Claus, Indiana.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Thank you, kitty.

theeWeeBabySeamus

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I need to stop reading Bears Reddit. They’re calling Trubisky the GOAT…

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This is funnier if you know he attended U*NC, and they are locally known as cheating goats.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

And I use the term “attended” very loosely.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It never occurred to me that football players would get the same level of special treatment given to the basketball team.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They tried to sacrifice football (and every other sport) to keep the NCAA out of the bball program. And it mostly worked.

Cheating fuckers.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Ah

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hawt Taek….Toni Braxton is sort of attractive.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Christina Aguilera ain’t bad neither, now that she bathes regularly.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m drawing a blank trying to make a joke about slow-moving cats that isn’t also about Cutler. https://streamable.com/g7km2

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This is actually some pretty impressive teamwork by Cards players after intercepting Glennon.

https://streamable.com/grrft

The URL is kind of funny given it features Glennon

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Is this animal abuse?

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WCS

Close enough for a jury to convict.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Pretty white dog definitely plays on their sympathies

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well….that’s not disturbing in the least.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

At least it’s not ketchup – Chicagoans

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m more than willing to give Amy Lee the most disappointing 1 minute and 27 seconds of her life.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

What are the other 85 seconds for?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Quiet sobbing.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

6,141 views. It seems JSD’s analysis left an impression.

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blaxabbath

The mrs and I just got back from A Ghost Story. Not quite sure what the hell I just saw but it was great. I recommend.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Detroit scoring touchdowns is such an rarity that this couldn’t be more odd if it were real lions pretending to jump double-dutch.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I wish I was responsible enough to have a cat.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I want that cat. Mine only bites me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Taken down for a loss by #69 from San Francisco.
There’s a joke I’d really like to make here, but I won’t.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nice

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m kinda LMFAO’ing here right now.
I’m proud of that one.
‘Nuff said.

WCS

Quick reminder: I’m going to the Stillers-WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCKYOUFUCKINGFUCKSHOWTHEFUCKINGFUCKDIDYOUFUCKINGFUCKSBLOWAFUCKING25FUCKINGPOINTLEADINTHEFUCKINGSUPERBOWLTOTHEFUCKPATRIOTSOFALLFUCKINGTEAMS tomorrow.

I’m punching Dan Quinn in the nose, and kicking him in the dick after.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

As not your attorney I would advise you to do whatever you can to ensure you don’t get caught.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo fav play upcoming.

theeWeeBabySeamus

‘Dat dude kinda quicklyness.
Very pretty return. Hopefully for his own sake, he gets traded n junk.