Your “Don’t Want To Say Good Night” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

 

Well, there’s a couple of “games” tonight, featuring “starters” that will “play” almost an entire quarter. Except for the guys who are hurt or facing suspension, which eats up most blog coverage.

Game preview: Colts at Cowboys

Peeling back the layers of congealed gravy over at Stampede Blue, you find a fan base worried about their franchise QB and an owner who cares more about freebase than fanbase. The lead story is about how Stephen Morris is a better choice for starter in Luck’s absence than Scott Tolzien, based on only last week plus last year’s preseason. The beautiful part of this logic is that the analysis comes from watching Tolzien take on first-string starters versus Morris who’s only ever seen second- & third-string reps in preseason. To keep things depressed, they’re keeping a separate Andrew Luck injury beat.

As for the Cowboys, Blogging The Boys fortunately isn’t “All Zeke, Fuck Roger” all the time. They have a story about Ryan “Yes, They’re Related” Switzer and how – well, I’m going to let this finely-worded sentence say it for me:

Switzer will theoretically be what Lucky Whitehead was for the Cowboys, plus a lot more (you know like of actual use).

Hard-hitting analysis from a website with lips firmly implanted on Jones anatomy.

So, aside from a story outlining possible issues the Cowboys could face this season – oh look, there’s the Elliott coverage (no slut shaming) – it’s all “Dez looks great!”, “Dak looks great”, and “Look – Jerry bought a new hat!”

But there’s only one Beer Baron.

Translation: We’re going to get a lot of looks at the Cowboys backup QBs, as they try to nail down who gets to hold the clipboard during 2017. The Colts will be trying to figure out whom to sacrifice to an angry god in order to get HODOR back under center.

Game preview: Broncos at Cardinals

Mile High Report is VERY concerned about the Broncos starting QB situation:

So be warned before watching this game – there’s going to be lots of talk about Siemian & Lynch that if you don’t hear it correctly will make it sound like your TV has switched to a gay snuff film.

On the 49ers side, Niners Nation doesn’t have anything to say because it doesn’t know what people want to hear. There’s two stories on the number of scrimmage fights there’s been in their joint practices with the Broncos, a rationale about how many snaps the starters will get on Saturday night (20), an injury breakdown, and a story about how bad Blake Bortles is. The sidebar is full of stories about how bad other teams are, plus a shot at Jim Harbaugh three years too late.

So, they are clearly expecting big things from the game. The future may look bright, but only because they don’t want to talk about how sad the present actually is.

I figure the Broncos QB contest plays havoc with the 49ers ever-depleting secondary.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL:
    • Colts at Cowboys – 7:00PM | NFL Network
    • Broncos at Niners – 10:00PM | NFL Network
  • Baseball:
    • MLB:
      • Yankees at Red Sox – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Little League World Series:
      • US Elimination game – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • MLS:
    • Chicago vs. Toronto FC – 8:00Pm | TSN
    • Whitecaps FC vs. Houston – 10:00PM | TSN

HAVE A GOOD EVENING!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

Leave a Reply

Notify of
King Hippo
Member

Jeebus what kind of footwork/throw was THAT??

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Ah yes, the ol’ “Bears fans travel” line. No, dumbasses, they live there.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Do Bears fans even travel south of Soldier Field?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I don’t think traveling to see any NFL team is really that big of a thing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

WHO WANTS TO VANDERSEX VANDERDOES?

Senor Weaselo
Member

Not Mutombo, 2/10, would not vanderbang.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

comment image

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I would reply “Treehouse!” and Frank would have said “Oh hey, me too!”, and then we would have been the best of friends.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

comment image

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Horatio is a good boy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Senor Weaselo
Member

Aaaand Houdini gets out of another one, and Horatio, Fronkensteen, and I exhale.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I was watching GLOW. What did I miss?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sounds like a euphemism….
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

comment image

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised
JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

comment image

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

All those years of watching the scrambled channels… I don’t remember seeing this.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That’s because there is no Homer in scrambled porn.
/could be wrong
//don’t tell me if I am

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Hey, Wakezilla, did I miss you on your way to Cannon Beach?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

All this eclipse fever has gotten me an idea…
Using the power of frames of reference, and for just 19.95 199.95 you can make your very own COMPLETE solar eclipse without having to worry about such trivialities as location in spacetime. Behold, the eclipseomatic 4000:
comment image

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

“Kellen Moore is trending worldwide on Twitter. That has to be good!”

[Ron Howard]
“It’s not good.”

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Ah. Summers in Oregon. I’m freezing my ass off and it’s August. I don’t get these weirdos.

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

If she’s the weirdo, please send her my way.
/prepares the dungeon

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Worse. A lawyer.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I can work with that.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I’m watching AFL match replays and getting very nervous…

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck. I had a genius idea and then went on reddit like a dumbass on automatic pilot and just wasted an hour writing about something that doesn’t matter because it’s for an edition of a RPG that was succeeded by a new one 12 years ago, and it may actually not apply to the edition that came out in 1998, in which case I am really fucking dumb.

Anyway, I wanted to bitch before I have to do this conference skype and can’t dick joke here. 🙁

*something something comments in the previous post*

blaxabbath
Member

Is this game called Cones of Dunshire?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

The NFL network has commercials that are on par with public access channels.

King Hippo
Member

Hey, I tol’ yas our QBs wuz butt.

Pokes/HODOR!-free Humps is really a bad game. Even by pre-season standards.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

We got a punter down. I repeat…the punter is down.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I’m entirely too sober after that beer festival. Time for a beer.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

What the fuck, dude?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I tried

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fair enough.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Mental note…

comment image

Never try to carjack three dudes at a football practice.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Burque never fails.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Kellen Winslow Jr. does his own car jacking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

And Hackenberg miraculously escapes another turnover.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

He really knows how to “sway” the jury.
comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Eddie are you okay?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

[Hackenburg fumbled on his very first pass attempt. Wasn’t really his fault; protection was terrible.]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo
Member

Sounds about right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

FUCK YEAH JETS! GET READY FOR THE HACKENBURG EXPERIENCE!

Senor Weaselo
Member

Oh wait, the Jets are playing. I should probably watch that. Wait, no I shouldn’t, fuck that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Minus that fumble just now, the Cowboys are looking pretty good. It looks like it will be a fight between them and themselves for the NFC East.

blaxabbath
Member

Looks like McCain didn’t expire on the table.

Thank you to the wonderful team @MayoClinic – we appreciate everything you do! pic.twitter.com/2eMV6NMSV8

— John McCain (@SenJohnMcCain) August 19, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

MOTHERFUCKERS!

Oh, well. It’s not like they’ve ever turned away monsters and war criminals before. Hippocratic Oath, my ass.

blaxabbath
Member

Fun fact: the mrs works at the second-best hospital in the Valley (after Mayo, who treated McCain). Her hospital, which isn’t good enough for McCain, is too good for some insurance plans, as is.

Congress’ floor is the rest of our’s ceiling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Active Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Free healthcare for the aged.

*Congress

wpDiscuz