Green Bay is playing their third game in twelve days. Bears fans are calling for the neck of Mike Glennon. Which of these teams will be able to hide their godawful flaws the most effectively? For the answer to this and many other questions one must go… TO THE GAME!

BEARS/PACKERS: Chicago stung the “Can’t Play Away From Home” Steelers with a 23-17 loss last week using the deadly combo of an atrocious passing game and an effective series of prayers to the almighty. Green Bay won an OT thriller over the Bengals using the arm of Rodgers and the leg of Crosby. Kudos to both for coming up with the unlikely Vic. Now for the not-so-good news. The Packers O-line is banged up something fierce-three backups are on I.R. and both Bakhtiari and (stifles giggle) Bulaga are listed as doubtful. (“Look at Rodgers run for his life!”) He’s been sacked 13 times already and has 4 turnovers. Ty Montgomery’s effort in the running game hasn’t worked out very well so far. His longest run from scrimmage has been eight yards but he is leading all rb’s in YAC. Chicago is also looking for a bit of balance on O but the trouble is in the passing end of things. The Giraffe is becoming known as Humpty Dumpdown and this is reflected in rb Howard leading the team in receiving yards last week with (Oof!) 26. The Bears rushing attack is ranked eighth thanks to the good work of Howard and Tarik “She Fed Me Tea And Oranges That Came All The Way From China” Cohen. (“Take that, Berman!”) The hope among the faithful is that Truth Biscuit will get the start after the bye week but his receiving corps will still consist of a “Who’s That?” lineup of Kendall Wright, Deonte Thompson and Zach/Dion Miller/Sims. That’s a shit-ton of not-talent right there. But hey, the winner of the game will break the 94-94-6 won/lost deadlock. The “They’ve played each other a few times over the years” chestnut should manifest itself as tinnitus by the end of the game.

Go get ’em, word-wranglers!