Your “Are We Having Fun Yet?” SNF Open Thread

I’m tired and grumpy.  And somehow also both drunk and hungover simultaneously.  That doesn’t seem fair, just sayin’.

And I hate teh Clots.  This could get interesting.

OK, maybe not “interesting” so much as “awkward”.

Just kidding.  I do hate the Clots, but I’m too tired to spew venom.  Or anything else, for that matter.  When they’re 1-3 later tonight, that’ll be good enough.

(but fuck the Irsays)

It’s been a long day of football.  A long weekend for those of us who also drug ourselves into catatonia with the college games on Saturdays.

But thank Christ we’re almost home.  Just one more game tonight and then we get a reprieve until next week.

(Hey Dumbass, there’s still MNF tomorrow!!!!)

Dammit.

/begins drinking moar heavily

//rolls a blunt

Indianapolis @ Seattle

8:30pmEDT – NBC

Tonight, the pride of the AFC faces off against the pride of the NFC in a contest which will be pivotal for…

Sorry, I can’t even finish that sentence with a straight face.

Tonight’s featured matchup pits two teams currently sitting at 1-2.  And deservedly so (just barely).

The Clots suck on both sides of the ball.  Or they have so far at least.  They barely managed to beat #thePauls last week at home.

The Hoxx haven’t really wowed anyone either yet, their lone win coming against the 69ers (you see where I’m going here, right?).  But their losses are at least slightly more respectable, and they even showed signs of finding some semblance of an offense last week at Tennessee.  They’ll find it at least a little more tonight, more than likely.  Problem for them is that their run D ain’t so stellar, so if the Clots can manage to get a run game going, they could chew up some clock and keep it close.  Then when things open up, Jacoby Brissett can pick his spots here and there in the air.

Either way, it’ll probably be a fairly ugly game.  Big shock, I know.

Vegas has this game Hoxx -12.5, o/u 42.

Pretty big line considering, and there is a reason for that.

But as much as I hate to say it, take the Clots and the points on this one (also probably take the under).

But I do still think the Hoxx win outright.  But even if they do it won’t be by much.  Is that OK with you, Pete?

If you missed earlier sessions today and need to catch up, here’s your Scoreboard.

Now get your degenerate butts into the clubhouse and say useless and offensive things we can all laugh at before our livers shut down later tonight.

Artist’s Conception….

(also nsfw)

CHEERS ASSDICKS!!!!!

Postscript….

You can all be very happy that unless Travis Kelce is able to tally up 28.09 pts for me tomorrow night, our good friend Don_T, who has undergone quite a bit of tribulations in the past few weeks thanks to weather….

Will have kicked my ass this week in FF without any utilities or electricity.

I can live with that.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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King Hippo

Here’s that long FG for tWBS

Dick E. Phuck

Looks like you spoke too soon

King Hippo

See, Black HODOR! can even do Laserface’s “I want the snap NOW!!!” stamp

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Playing quartered back at NC State is a great place to learn how to pass with 3 dudes hanging off ya.

WCS

“What about three guys hanging off ya?”

— Aaron R., WI

King Hippo

check that eligibility, we’d love to have ya when Finley graduates!

Spur

Which orifices? – Aaron Rodgers

Spur

In that GE commercial Molly just got a bunch of people fired because she automated-away their jobs.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The “high snap.” Just because they’re in Seat-

Oh, wait. That was high.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

It’s basically KHunt v. SeaTruther D/ST in my match v. Dok. Since my starting Smokin’ Jay canceled out her travelling and leaving Snead in her lineup.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

And, lo, the game did end 3-0. And the DFO did, in its entirety, drink heavily of ales and meads, until they died.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dick E. Phuck

For never was there a tale of more woe than this Kommentariat and the game that blowed.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Mead? Dilly dilly!

The Maestro

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Dick E. Phuck

“Seattle Snowflakes vs. The Indianapolis Cucks in the SJW Bowl. Winner destroys western civilization with Bernie Sanders Marxism.”
– Some dumb asshole

Senor Weaselo

No, no. Many dumb assholes!

Dick E. Phuck

Sad but true

herodotus450

Inspired by all our jokes on Jacoby Brisset, trump has decided to cut off his arm to check his “smoke ring” to determine whether he’s black enough to deserve scorn.
/Trying to come up with trumpnarios which are outrageous enough to be unlikely; will keep trying.

Gratliff

AW YEAH. IBUSHI ON THE FIELD.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The sex doll filed charges and he was convicted. She also received damages in civil court.

Gratliff

So you’re saying it’s not the NFL guy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Correct sir.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

“Let’s see…. how can we make this more serious..?”

Senor Weaselo

So, lawsuits abound, right?

Gratliff

Holy shit. That guy’s dead.

WCS

Well, if he wasn’t, he is now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, sorry sir; that was a pre-existing condition and therefore not covered.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT WAS THE JOKE.

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Gratliff

It’s basically an OJ scene from Naked Gun at that point

Senor Weaselo

Unless you get more points for a longer FG. In which case, kick the 90-yarder!

Brick Meathook

FGs should have a distance multiplier.

JustStopDude

Let’s check in with a completely rational and calm Browns fan and his response to the game…

https://youtu.be/dfSwVSpgGzI

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

HARVARD ATHLETE!!! Was he an architect?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

He’s definitely a hard-worker, respects the game, and brings his lunchpail.

King Hippo

offensive lineman or punter?

Spur

Not good.
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King Hippo

GOD, that was so fun

...

This will never not be hilarious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ook Polka.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Ook.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOK.

Brick Meathook

“He’s AMAZING!”
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Petronel

Sickly-looking field claims its first victim.

Brick Meathook

Wow that anthem rendition was awful. Just sing the fucking song already.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder what you get for 25 cents.

Horatio Cornblower

Herpes

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

And his tag team partner!:
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...

I really hate Al Michaels.

WCS

“I really hate Al Michaels.”

— Al Michaels’ liver

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

King Hippo

The veterans group was protesting racial justice outreach?

Col. Duke LaCross

That’s where we’re at now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

The great part about Trump being president is that it’s made us all into one giant human centipede forced to digest every one of his shits until it breaks our brains.

King Hippo

I mean, there was an article in The Weekly Standard about how “you have to at least recognize there is a point in how .shitty it must feel to be a black person and targeted by overzealous policing, no matter if it’s a minority of law enforcement.” FOR FUCK’s SAKE.

Is The Weekly Standard just a bunch of liberal, candy-ass snowflakes now too?

Spur

That Seahawk locker room must be interesting…

hippofant

Is Andrew Luck hungry? Is that why he’s patting his stomach?

Gratliff

Chargers-Giants next week to determine which fanbase gets to quit for the year first.

Spur

Brian James only eats the fried fish.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Michael Bennett to Trump: Fuck you.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I support Michael Bennett

Gratliff

Could’ve made several flags out of that jersey

King Hippo

Is this guy retarded fat, or just fat? I want to know if I should feel bad for snickering.

Dick E. Phuck

They got a real neckbeard to do the national anthem. Good job, Seahawks.

Spur

The Fat Humps are going to ask for more Brisket after Hodor returns.

Dick E. Phuck

That girl in the Verizon commercials is quite attractive and I would like to service her.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I care nothing about this game, but would like to see momentary-Patriot Jacoby Brissett do well.

King Hippo

Black HODOR! shall make us proud

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ll accept that. Good luck!

WCS

“Mmmmmm… brisket…”

-Andy R, MO

Spur

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hippofant

As usual, I’m reminded that Carrie Underwood ain’t no Faith Hill.

King Hippo

THIS. She gets the mute button treatment. And no sexual fantasies.

Spur

We’re all counting on you Fat Humps.

Gratliff

4 of us out of the eliminator so far. Fat Humps are going to wipe the floor with us

Horatio Cornblower

I took the Seahawks this week. I may well regret that.

Gratliff

I think a good 5 or 6 of us did

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, this has the makings of one of those games that really clears out an Eliminator.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Horatio Cornblower

A scream from upstairs followed by running feet, more screaming, “I hate you!!! I hate you!!! I have to put this on Instagram!!! I hate you!!”

WCS

A very Millennial response.

technodanvan

“git off my lawn!”

– WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“GIF off my lawn.”

-Anon.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s a good thing you’re a lawyer. You’ll have to defend yourself from child abuse charges someday.

Horatio Cornblower

Best part was she sort of called it. She got home and said she expected to see a red balloon on the mailbox, in which case she would have just kept driving.

On no dear daughter; your parents are much, much worse than that.

Horatio Cornblower

Lemmy Kilmeister did not die so that a bunch of gerbils could blow out of town in a Kia.

Dick E. Phuck

Or did he.
*Cue X-Files theme

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s a fun car, and can hold Lemmy-sized quantities of alcohol. I’ll allow it.

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter just got home. The red balloon is in her room. I am so excited, and such a terrible father.

Senor Weaselo

You’ll tell us what happens, right?

Dick E. Phuck

Jameis Winston fucked up the Giants like they were a drunk, vulnerable college girl at a block party.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

This offense is so bad, it’s the most cancerous thing ever in Chuck Pagano’s life.

Gratliff

We’re 4 weeks in and you know what that means. Time for endlessly checking in on Sports Club Stats so I can find an even more nerdy way to monitor the Eagles’ unavoidable demise!

Gratliff

Actually, it appears to have not been updated since last season. Booooo.

Senor Weaselo

“Catatonia? That’s the place with the political demolitions because they want to succeed from Spain, right?” -Emmitt Smiff

Gratliff

At first I thought it was fully correct. It was actually funnier that way.

WCS

This is some excellent Laserface:

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Brick Meathook

He was losing his shit the whole game

Gratliff

It was delicious

ballsofsteelandfury

This needs to be on quotables

Viva La Tabula Raza

What variety of drugs did the person that scheduled this matchup for national television have access to? I would like to try some.

WCS

Update update: Lil’er WCS will be making her debut on Earth in about 90 minutes.

Spur

Congrats.

...

/Lil WCS is born, sees SNF game

/Lil WCS tries crawling back in

Dick E. Phuck

She’s gonna be a Ravens fan just to spite you. Congrats.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Okay, let let this clock run down, a failed draw play to Tyreek, and we’re all set to deliver!”

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