Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 4, 2017

Well, that certainly was entropic, yes?  Let’s recap.

Cam Newton was ded.  Until he wasn’t.  As seemingly, the P*ts D is the magic elixir that heals all.  While it looked like Dreamboat would inevitably complete the 14-point comeback in an overtime period, he never saw the ball again.  Rivera’s decision to settle for a super-long FG seemed ill-advised to me, but Gano made it.  33-30, good guys.

So…1st place in the AFC East was up for grabs and Buffalo grabbed it.  This time, ATL didn’t get a bailout call at the end, and injuries to Julio Jones and Sanu were too much to overcome.  I’d imagine 3-1 feels very different to these squadrons.

Oh, and guess who went into JerralWorld, overcame a double digit deficit to claw away a well-deserved victory?  If you guessed Baby Buster and his game as fuck RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! unit, you’d be right.  They played really good football, in all phases of the game (defense making good adjustments after early struggles), and can no longer be dismissed as a fluke.  Todd Gurley continues his beastly season.

NO SHIT, the Jets are 2-2.  Same record as the P*ts.  Gacked up a 10-point home lead to the Jaguras, but the OT win is still a win.  JAX is shaping up to be an odd/even week schizo team this season.

Yinzburgh couldn’t play on the road until they could.  In Balmer…they were just fine, thanks.  That side is in trouble, kids.  Joe Flacco is absolute poo.  Le’Veon finally has his timing back, it seems.

DeShaun Watson, have a day.  Or have a day in the first half alone, really.  Los Titanicos couldn’t perform for DonT two weeks in a row, especially once Mariota gimped off the field FOAR CasselVANIA! time.  57-14 is as ugly a scoreline as you will see in a professional contest.  And it was a fair representation.

Oh, #ThePauls.  I thought today was your day…and you just made Red Rocket and pals feel better about themselves.  There’s always 2018, I guess.

Detroit bounced back nicely from the rough ending to that Falcons game, winning convincingly in Bird Murder Dome, 14-7.  So much for Case Keenum’s short-lived adequacy.  Or maybe the Lions are just under-the-radar good, like the Rams?

Notice how we didn’t talk about the London fixture yet.  I’d still rather not.  But it does merit mentioning that this was apparently the Saints’ 2nd clean sheet in the past 20 years of Greater Footy.  Christ, Dolphins.

Shitty Clippers lose at “home” yet again, this time to the Iggles.  Didn’t really see much of this one, but what little I saw indicated that Philly West took up much of the minor league Lesser Footy ground, which is just goddamned hilarious.  PRAISE BE TO BOLTMAN.

Tampa Bay survives the extreme yips of Folk Implosion (1/2 XP, 2/4 FG), with the last kick just barely sliding inside the upright to secure a 25-23 win.  What a fun score for the peoples!  0-4 Gigantes whilst the Jets are 2-2 will make for some taeks, I bet.  But they looked like an actual team today, and will probably go like 6-6 or 7-5 down the stretch.  Usual reversion to the mean.

Arizona and San Francisco illustrated just why RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! are Hippo division favourites.  What a shitty match that was, 9 combined FGs before Palmer directed a TD drive late in OT to secure an 18-15 home win.

My beloved Donks made me sweat, more than I had hoped once the EJ Manuel portion of the game started.  Bottom line, Denver dominated except for a few big plays, but couldn’t put Oakland away.  Thankfully, Justin Simmons made a play when one was most needed, securing a late jump ball pickerception.  16-10 wasn’t pretty, but 3-1 is good, and so is any home win over the silver and black.

Night cap brings us Charmslinger and the 12s v. Black HODOR! and…cancer, I guess.  It’s an NC State-off!  There was a replay challenge safety, but then Brissett threw a pick-sixerception and I lost interest.  You’re on your own as to what happened next, but fair to assume SeaTruthers rolled to victory.

Last but not least, fuck right off Everton.  Home draw to Apollon mid-week, home loss to Burnley Sunday morning.  You are in crisis whether you want to acknowledge it or not, Ronald Koeman.  And start your Rooney bidding now, MLS squadrons.  Tanned, rested, and ready.  OK, not tanned.