For the record, I am typing this here preview up before my maybe-not-quite-shitty wolves host Louisville Thursday night, and crash like Icarus and send me deeper into depression. Bell Biv, DeVoe (DaVoe??), now ya know.
Paedo State at Northwestern (Noon, ABC)
It would be nice if the Mildcats did a thing. I wouldn’t bet on it.
Georgia at Vanderbilt (Noon, ESPN)
I would suspect that Vandy at least forces the Dawgs to throw the ball, which might at least cause a sweat to get broken. If not, consider me convinced UGA is for realsies.
West By God Virginia at TCU (3:30, FS1)
This will be good, old fashioned Big 12-ish wacky fun time goodness. Buhlee dat!! Bloodeyes will have their defense tested.
Miami at Florida State (3:30, ESPN)
Noles have won 7 straight (most not in close fashion) in this series, but look like a semen-encrusted sweatsock so far this season. But not really sure Da U that much of an upgrade. Maybe a washcloth?
LSU at Florida (3:30, CBS)
Ed Orgeron’s bunch is a failure pile in a sadness bowl (h/t Patton Oswalt). And I have no fucking clue how Florida keeps winning every week, let alone blitzing a rival 42-zip like they done UT last week. But they keep proving me wrong, so hey, purty cheerleaders!
Kansas State at Texas (7:00, FS1)
Highlighted because Undead Bill Snyder still roams the earth, and will likely fuck up the ‘Horns Big 12-ish run before it even gets off the ground.
Alabama at Texas A&M (7:15, ESPN)
Somehow, the Aggies have managed to win out after that soul-crushing choke to open the season at UCLA. Whilst the Bruins have gone straight down the toilet. Sometimes momentum is really nothing in sports and in life. Anyway, Roll Damn Tide is in town, so A-game better be on display. We shall see.
Washington State at Oregon (8:00, Fox)
Here’s your game of the week, folks. Plus it will mix Gus Johnson and Mike Leach. Need I say MOAR?
Stanford at Utah (10:15, FS1)
Another reasonably interesting FS1 matchup, for the tweaker set. Or for one’s DVR, since they’s fuckall to watch Sunday morning thanks to International Break bullshit. Team Secular Big Love is undefeated, with a great defense but always with that suspected glass jaw until they take that first real punch. Well, here it comes.