JV NFL Parties Alone – 7 October Open Thread

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

For the record, I am typing this here preview up before my maybe-not-quite-shitty wolves host Louisville Thursday night, and crash like Icarus and send me deeper into depression.  Bell Biv, DeVoe (DaVoe??), now ya know.

Paedo State at Northwestern (Noon, ABC)

It would be nice if the Mildcats did a thing.  I wouldn’t bet on it.

Georgia at Vanderbilt (Noon, ESPN)

I would suspect that Vandy at least forces the Dawgs to throw the ball, which might at least cause a sweat to get broken.  If not, consider me convinced UGA is for realsies.

West By God Virginia at TCU (3:30, FS1)

This will be good, old fashioned Big 12-ish wacky fun time goodness.  Buhlee dat!!  Bloodeyes will have their defense tested.

Miami at Florida State (3:30, ESPN)

Noles have won 7 straight (most not in close fashion) in this series, but look like a semen-encrusted sweatsock so far this season.  But not really sure Da U that much of an upgrade.  Maybe a washcloth?

LSU at Florida (3:30, CBS)

Ed Orgeron’s bunch is a failure pile in a sadness bowl (h/t Patton Oswalt).  And I have no fucking clue how Florida keeps winning every week, let alone blitzing a rival 42-zip like they done UT last week.  But they keep proving me wrong, so hey, purty cheerleaders!

Kansas State at Texas (7:00, FS1)

Highlighted because Undead Bill Snyder still roams the earth, and will likely fuck up the ‘Horns Big 12-ish run before it even gets off the ground.

Alabama at Texas A&M (7:15, ESPN)

Somehow, the Aggies have managed to win out after that soul-crushing choke to open the season at UCLA.  Whilst the Bruins have gone straight down the toilet.  Sometimes momentum is really nothing in sports and in life.  Anyway, Roll Damn Tide is in town, so A-game better be on display.  We shall see.

Washington State at Oregon (8:00, Fox)

Here’s your game of the week, folks.  Plus it will mix Gus Johnson and Mike Leach.  Need I say MOAR?

Stanford at Utah (10:15, FS1)

Another reasonably interesting FS1 matchup, for the tweaker set.  Or for one’s DVR, since they’s fuckall to watch Sunday morning thanks to International Break bullshit.  Team Secular Big Love is undefeated, with a great defense but always with that suspected glass jaw until they take that first real punch.  Well, here it comes.

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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LemonJello
LemonJello

FlaSt will not go quietly into that goodnight.

Redshirt

2nd Targeting penalty against OSU, but at least this one is legit.

Also 4th String QB Alert in Maryland! We gotta 4th Stringer on the field!

Romonobyl

New thread’s up already?

scotchnaut

[overwhelming desire to get McDonalds french fries]

/HALP!

Redshirt

I’ve worked at McDonalds. DO NOT DO IT!

scotchnaut

But where am I going to get that much salt on such short notice?

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Redshirt

So if anyone here is watching “The Good Doctor” or “Doogie Rainman, MD”, how is it?

LemonJello
LemonJello

I am interested in anyone’s opinions on The Gifted: Discount X-Men.

Redshirt

I enjoyed the realism of the story. It was able to be a fantasy show but relatable.

Also, DAYMN, AMY ACKER!

Romonobyl

Good Doctor was better than I expected. The kid playing the main character isn’t half bad and the story line allows him to screw up even. Maybe not a very realistic show, but semi-believable.

WCS

Christ.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Hey, it’s not my fault, I was dealing with my dad’s shit all day, you can ask him yourself.”

-J.H. Christ

Redshirt

“Plus, I died and paid for all your sins. But this is asking too much!”

Brocky

Lol, I have no idea which game you’re reacting to, but it’s just funny for college football woes

LemonJello
LemonJello

Flipped over to Golden Boners v ShitHeels to check the score.

The treatment of U*NC by ND can best be described as Baylor Co-Ed-esque. Or prolapse.

Brocky

So I doubt anyone else is keeping track of the IU game but the small south Carolina school they’re playing is 0/10 on passing, and it’s the fourth quarter

LemonJello
LemonJello

I want to make a sarcastic comment about the attire of some of the ladies at FlaSt v Da U, but since they seem to be wearing their Sunday-best tube tops, I’ll refrain.

Redshirt

Sunday-best “Walk of Shame” or Sunday-best “church clothes”?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Yes.

Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!

They go hand in hand in Tallahassee.

Redshirt

With all this rain falling in UNC, I’m reminded that when I become Evil Overlord of the World, all football fields must be played on Natural Grass. Its football, we want to be mud on the jerseys.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

OK where the fuck is the remote? It was here last night. I’ve looked everywhere, I’ve run out of logical places. I checked inside the dishwasher

Redshirt

Check under the sofas. If your sofa has a hide-a-bed, check in the sofa.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Check the studio toliet. Maybe you left it in the tank?

Redshirt

If Urban’s kicker doesn’t give him another heart attack, Urban may rip out his kicker’s heart on the field before this game over.

WCS

Just one?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Nats just got Jeffery Maier’d.

Redshirt

The man is wearing a Cubs jersey, reached over the fence and caught the ball. How much more evidence do you need that that’s fan interference?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

No idea. I’m shocked it wasn’t overturned.

Redshirt

Okay, so I went on Google Images to find a meme where its Robert Downey, Jr. and the caption is “Ban Guns? Why don’t you Ban Murder? Get rid of that too.” Sadly, I couldn’t find it. What I did find is all the collective hatred of the Internet from both the pro-guns conservative and the anti-guns liberals. I was unprepared for this level of pure hatred that would kill Captain Planet dead.

So I’ve lost all hope for humanity. Please send assistance.

Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!

I got Pumpkin Frosted Mini Wheats, hot damn are they good.

Romonobyl

You’re dead to me.

Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!

Uncle Ed?

Romonobyl

Nothing personal, I just loved Frosted Mini Wheats as a kid and view any alteration as a perversion of my precious childhood.
I’m still getting over M&Ms in Chips Ahoy.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Good day, Imaginary internet Friends!

The due diligence period for the potential buyers of Fortress LemonJello ended last night, so I spent the day addressing the myriad and sundry items they requested to be fixed.

Now I get beer and JV fitbaw.

How are we doing this evening?

scotchnaut

LEMON! Me love you long time.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!

Would’ve been a better movie if they didn’t let the actors ad-lib 80 percent of it.

LemonJello
LemonJello

If you watch it without comparing it to the original, it’s entertaining.

Redshirt

So its like Batman v. Superman. If it was any other movie with them not named “Batman”, “Superman” or “Ghostbusters”, its good?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Pretty much.

Redshirt

Everyone look away. Lemon and Scotchnaut are going to start making animal noises.

Romonobyl

So Justin Bieber is doing the Steampunk thing now?

LemonJello
LemonJello

Can we put him in an iron lung?

scotchnaut

Okay. I may have been dranking.

scotchnaut

I love The Bourne Identity as a movie. I tried to read the book but the dialogue was a fucking joke written by fifth grader.

Redshirt

When I first watched “Amazing Spider-Man 1” I thought it was great. Now after seeing “Spider-Man: Homecoming”, its suddenly not as good. That’s how you know a movie is great. It greatness rewrites your memories and opinions of past movies you’ve seen.

Romonobyl

Also the reason why I hate the movies based on a book I enjoyed.

Redshirt

That’s why I don’t read. I read the novelization to “Batman: No Man’s Land” and thought it was awesome. Every character was great. I bought the comics and was wondering if it was even the same story.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Gentlemen.

The Cubs are in the playoffs so I am back on my bullshit.

WCS

Naturally.

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s the first Saturday of the month, you know what that means, right?

A FRESH NEW BLUE DEODORIZER IN MY STUDIO TOILET

Am I excited? You bet!

Romonobyl

Studio toilet? Does that mean it folds out into a bed or what?

Redshirt

From what I’ve read on the internet, the My Little Pony movie seems to be doing okay. Its not a smash hit, but its not being laughed out of theatres.

Critics either hate it or average it because its not an artsy movie. Fans of the show loves it. Non fans are either in the “that was good”, “I want those 99 minutes of my live back, damn it!”, and “its okay but its harmless” camps.

I haven’t watched it, but only because I don’t want to be the only grown man in a room of little girls and their parents. One lesson I’ve learned from being bullied in school: “When in doubt, don’t stand out.”

But from what I’ve read on TV Tropes, I will definitely rent it On Demand and buy the DVD.

Romonobyl

That’s why I tend to ignore movie reviews. If it’s your groove, go enjoy, otherwise leave it alone. Not every movie has to be the next Schindler’s List.

WCS

About bloody time.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl

And thus, AT&T was born.

WCS

Game, set, match.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If anyone is trying to figure out what to get me for Xmas?
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Romonobyl

“Please show us where the second half of last season’s Super Bowl touched you.”

scotchnaut

Miami climbing back into relevance? Luther Campbell’s wallet must be so proud.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Safety dance in CH. Hehehehehe.

Romonobyl

Yellow Jackets suck and cause owies, but you can at least kill them. My impromptu flock of fruit flies have expanded beyond the kitchen and have decided to attempt gentrification of the family room. The final straw was last evening when they converted The Dame’s glass of Merlot into a community swimming pool, thus crossing a serious line with her.
I’ve sprayed enough shit around to take ten years off my life and we haven’t seen the cat since, but the little fuckers won’t go away. I’ve lived in this house over 20 years and have never had this problem. Not sure if I should love it or list it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Myles Dorn with the U*NC interception.

Also not white, btw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chazz doesn’t look like he’s having fun.

WCS

Neither am I, so we have that going for us.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

Froggies’ punter is winning this game.

WCS

I swear, we haven’t had a reliable kicker in five years. Criminey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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per earlier

theeWeeBabySeamus

I didn’t realize anyone had painted up my hornet wars.
Nice. I look good.

Romonobyl

Love the socks…assuming those are socks.

scotchnaut

Not surprising that Ohio State could score so easily on the Land of Mary.

/just look at the way they’re dressed!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Minnestota/Purdue

What is “Games to nap to” Alex?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Bad fitbawwl in Tallahassee so far.
You da man, Jimbo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Miami and Florida State are about to kick-off, and absolutely no one seems to care.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t seen cyclones do this much damage in Oklahoma since….
Shit, I forgot to check the weather before I started this joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

RUT ROH. ISU just stopped Boomer Sooner on fourth down! 1:15 left, OU with no timeouts left.

Looks like another year without a Big 12 team in the Playoff.

WCS

ISU goes up on Boomer Sooner, but, there’s probably too much time left.