Your “Let’s Keep ‘Er Going Fellas” Sunday Afternoon/Morning NFL Football Open Thread

I’ll acknowledge you west-coasters in the lede just this one time and then never again. There’s so much football, basketball and hockey coming out the ying yang, it’s an embarrassment of riches. And I must say that all commenters acquitted themselves quite well all day/night long yesterday. Now it’s time to do it all over again… TO THE GAMES!

Miami/Buffalo:

The non-existent money I have riding on this tilt says that Catler will revert back to one of his earlier, ineffectual lives after a truly wtf? performance last week vs. the Pats. I’ll go further-whoever gets the start between the likes of Taylor, Webb and Peterman will out-shine The Catman.

Baltimore/Cleveland:

The Browns march to the opposite of perfection continues unabated… The Ravens at 7-6 seem to be barely in the playoff race-a-roo but after this week they’ll be murderizing the Colts and Bengals so all is good on the post-season front for them.

Cincinnati/Minnesota:

The Vikes are looking to get back on track after losing to Carolina and that’s why they’re embracing a home date vs. the Bengals so closely to their bosom. Why? The awesome Minny run D faces down a Cincy rushing attack that averages less than 80 ypg. Gulp. So that puts the game in the shaky hands of Mr. Dalton and voila-there’s your Bengals loss exactly as it was drawn up on the Etch-a-Sketch.

New York Jets/New Orleans:

Qb McCown broked his dadgum hand last week. Was it the same dude that stepped on Fatty Stafford’s paw a few weeks ago? Is there a secret “QB Hand-Ruining Cabal” forming in the NFL? The evidence is thin at the moment but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it day and night. Anyhoo, the Nathan Peterman of the Jets-Bryce Petty-will be playing the part of the sacrificial lamb today.

Philadelphia/New York Giants:

Eagles fans aren’t buying Carson Wentz’s malarkey about his injury being a part of God’s plan. No, they’ve adopted the “Fucking, Suckbagging Shit! Why Does This Happen To Us Every Time?” narrative. Why is it that drooling, alcoholic, racist dickbags can never have nice things? (“hey, I’m painting with broad strokes here-easy now, fellas”) Foles gets the start.

Arizona/Washington:

To be watched for fantasy purposes only. How you managed to get this far with anyone from these two squads on your team is a mystery for the ages. (Says the guy that cacked out last week)

Green Bay/Carolina:

Today’s hagiography is brought to you by the letters “A” and “R” and by the number “1”(man team). Props go out to Brett Hundley who did his best to staunch the bleeding by going a semi-respectable 3-5 while the league’s most valuable clavicle healed itself. As for this game, Andy Reid would say, “There’s a lot of steak here.”

Houston/Jax:

If the Jags win they be in. T.J. Yates has state, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”. So there you have it-the Jags are in.

Fire up your nipples folks, there’s work to do down below.

 

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Breeserception

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Would that be a Brees within a Brees, or an arm punt by Brees?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, there wasn’t much hang time on it, sooooo…..

Doktor Zymm

Remember those few minutes where the Browns were winning?

rockingdog

Ahhhhh memories!!!! such good times!!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, at least the Browns held the lead for a few minutes. That probably felt pretty good for them.

JustStopDude

Actually they usually make it to late 3rd/early 4th quarter to fucking throw the goddamn game away…

JustStopDude

I fucking hate this team…

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Gratliff

Giants are Gintsing again

Gratliff

Shitty Browns losing to the Good Browns is as automatic as it gets.

Senor Weaselo

Greetings from Tuckahoe. Nothing in particular, playing a church service. It’s just a funny name.

Doktor Zymm

they shortened it from Tuckapre-ophoe

JustStopDude

Kizer makes a crazy good check down despite about being destroyed on 3rd and long just to try and get the team to field goal range…

WR fumbles it….

rockingdog

then ravens score.

Senor Weaselo

The Paulrisocrats!

Doktor Zymm

My fantasy team, which is on bye in the consolation playoffs, is doing annoyingly well

King Hippo

Also, Donks would love to have Tyrod if BUF really don’t want him no more.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shoulda been you, Davante

King Hippo

THIS (but have accepted my inevitable hiding at this point b/c I suck at everything in life)

King Hippo

Best QB of all-time, y’all. Gay, straight, bi, whatevs. He blows ’em all…AWAY

Doktor Zymm

I read that as “He blows ’em all…ANYWAY”

King Hippo

also works. It’s his right as an entertainer. 😀

Gratliff

A.A.Ron can not be allowed to enter the postseason

theeWeeBabySeamus

Questionable JuJu hamstring, or Robert Woods booboo shoulder just back from IR on the road in Seattle?
Decision time is looming.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I don’t think it matters either way.

rockingdog

Robert Woods

King Hippo

agreed

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also how I’ve been leaning, but I hate to miss out on saying JuJu later.
🙂

Spur

Ertz’s me again Foles.

rockingdog

thats good hustle

JustStopDude

Its going to be Hue.

That would be the most moronic thing possible…

Doktor Zymm

As long as they don’t hire anyone who’s coached the Bears recently they’ll probably be fine

King Hippo

fuck you Elisha, that ErtzDOWN is my death

Gratliff

ZACK ERTZ BAY BAY

rockingdog

Damit. I should have started Keenum over Cam Newton.

grrrrrrrr…….

Petronel

Keystone Kops action at Redacteds Field

Gratliff

DARBY SIGHTING

Doktor Zymm

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Redshirt

? Hello, Darkness, my old friend ?

rockingdog

Ive come to talk with you again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a Bengal choke job creeeeeepin

King Hippo

Hopkins garbage time would be nice, guys

Doktor Zymm

So Wentz’s knee burned out and now the Eagles will fade away?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

NFL red zone is trying to make me think Yo Gabbert Gabbert is cromulent. Say it ain’t so.

Doktor Zymm

You were saying?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Faith restored

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not after that pick.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You get the Especial or the Negra?

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’re both pretty decent, although I usually get the Negra when it’s available.

Doktor Zymm

Do y’all sports betting types keep a spreadsheet or sommat to track your results?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell no.
That would be depressing.

King Hippo

that’s the kinda thing makes one quit

/but I have a mind for numbers, know exactly what I’ve put in and can sense trends (maths intuition)

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s true. If you wanna place a bet, the smart money says follow teh Hippo.
(seriously…dude is a savant)

King Hippo

Los Gigantes!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WENTZ WOULD HAVE HAD JESUS HELP PICK UP THAT FIRST

King Hippo

yeah, I wonder what huddle JEEBUS sits in now?

Doktor Zymm

Kirk is pretty Jeebusy

Gratliff

ELITE KEEPER

JustStopDude

Who does more check downs this game…Flacco or Kizer?

Redshirt

Why do I do this?

King Hippo

Odd Week Jaguras, y’all

theeWeeBabySeamus

You can’t see me flipping you off right now, but I’m totally flipping you off right now.

LOL, in truth, as we discussed briefly last night, the 2bills at +450 bothers me not at all.
Houston not scoring and fucking me over vs Jax D…yeah, I’m pissed.

So in summation….flipping you off.
😛

King Hippo

We TRIED to talk you the fuck out of it…

theeWeeBabySeamus

+450 was worth the risk.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I ended up moneylining Yinzers btw, not ATS.

King Hippo

might as well, at +3

theeWeeBabySeamus

You said you got -2.5 IIRC?

King Hippo

Yup, and w/o extra juice

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, if the Savage concussions could score a little, that would help me a lot too

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A few more scores from Adams and Brees and I might withstand the March of Foles!

Doktor Zymm

Long Live Zombie McCoy!

King Hippo

hard not to love that guy

Gratliff

Unless you’re a racist coach from Oregon

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice jorb Alvin.
Too little too late, but nice jorb.

Doktor Zymm

Lesean is Undead!

rockingdog

and gets a TD!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Shady is alive again, which is nice for those of us rooting against Shitty Clippers backing into 6th seed.

rockingdog

whatttttttt Brownies score TD???? oh my

Doktor Zymm

Brownses do a good1!

King Hippo

#ThePauls!!! #Strive4One lives on!!

rockingdog

ut oh, shady mccoy be hurting……..

King Hippo

Those of us who bet on BUF (well, against Catler in the elements) NO SMIRE

Doktor Zymm

Ruh Roh, Shady is ded?

Spur

he was already on Buffalo. I guess this is now official.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh FFS Houston. Jax D now with 20 pts.
20 fucking points.

Good luck next week Beastie. Thanks for handing me yet another humbling defeat.

King Hippo

OVERTURNED

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah well…still ain’t matter.

rockingdog

Looks like the brownies r moving the ball well……..

Doktor Zymm

I am so glad I don’t live in the Midwest anymore

Spur

Eat it Rodgers.

King Hippo

eh, it was a fine arm punt

/also I appreciate him getting the ball to Davante at all costs

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Help me, Breesus, your my only hope

King Hippo

#JewsFOARBreesus

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s the good stuff right there.