I’ll acknowledge you west-coasters in the lede just this one time and then never again. There’s so much football, basketball and hockey coming out the ying yang, it’s an embarrassment of riches. And I must say that all commenters acquitted themselves quite well all day/night long yesterday. Now it’s time to do it all over again… TO THE GAMES!
Miami/Buffalo:
The non-existent money I have riding on this tilt says that Catler will revert back to one of his earlier, ineffectual lives after a truly wtf? performance last week vs. the Pats. I’ll go further-whoever gets the start between the likes of Taylor, Webb and Peterman will out-shine The Catman.
Baltimore/Cleveland:
The Browns march to the opposite of perfection continues unabated… The Ravens at 7-6 seem to be barely in the playoff race-a-roo but after this week they’ll be murderizing the Colts and Bengals so all is good on the post-season front for them.
Cincinnati/Minnesota:
The Vikes are looking to get back on track after losing to Carolina and that’s why they’re embracing a home date vs. the Bengals so closely to their bosom. Why? The awesome Minny run D faces down a Cincy rushing attack that averages less than 80 ypg. Gulp. So that puts the game in the shaky hands of Mr. Dalton and voila-there’s your Bengals loss exactly as it was drawn up on the Etch-a-Sketch.
New York Jets/New Orleans:
Qb McCown broked his dadgum hand last week. Was it the same dude that stepped on Fatty Stafford’s paw a few weeks ago? Is there a secret “QB Hand-Ruining Cabal” forming in the NFL? The evidence is thin at the moment but that doesn’t stop me from thinking about it day and night. Anyhoo, the Nathan Peterman of the Jets-Bryce Petty-will be playing the part of the sacrificial lamb today.
Philadelphia/New York Giants:
Eagles fans aren’t buying Carson Wentz’s malarkey about his injury being a part of God’s plan. No, they’ve adopted the “Fucking, Suckbagging Shit! Why Does This Happen To Us Every Time?” narrative. Why is it that drooling, alcoholic, racist dickbags can never have nice things? (“hey, I’m painting with broad strokes here-easy now, fellas”) Foles gets the start.
Arizona/Washington:
To be watched for fantasy purposes only. How you managed to get this far with anyone from these two squads on your team is a mystery for the ages. (Says the guy that cacked out last week)
Green Bay/Carolina:
Today’s hagiography is brought to you by the letters “A” and “R” and by the number “1”(man team). Props go out to Brett Hundley who did his best to staunch the bleeding by going a semi-respectable 3-5 while the league’s most valuable clavicle healed itself. As for this game, Andy Reid would say, “There’s a lot of steak here.”
Houston/Jax:
If the Jags win they be in. T.J. Yates has state, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”. So there you have it-the Jags are in.
Fire up your nipples folks, there’s work to do down below.
Breeserception
Would that be a Brees within a Brees, or an arm punt by Brees?
Well, there wasn’t much hang time on it, sooooo…..
Remember those few minutes where the Browns were winning?
Ahhhhh memories!!!! such good times!!!!!!!!
Well, at least the Browns held the lead for a few minutes. That probably felt pretty good for them.
It’s the little victories that matter…
Actually they usually make it to late 3rd/early 4th quarter to fucking throw the goddamn game away…
I fucking hate this team…
Giants are Gintsing again
Shitty Browns losing to the Good Browns is as automatic as it gets.
Greetings from Tuckahoe. Nothing in particular, playing a church service. It’s just a funny name.
they shortened it from Tuckapre-ophoe
Kizer makes a crazy good check down despite about being destroyed on 3rd and long just to try and get the team to field goal range…
WR fumbles it….
then ravens score.
The Paulrisocrats!
My fantasy team, which is on bye in the consolation playoffs, is doing annoyingly well
Also, Donks would love to have Tyrod if BUF really don’t want him no more.
Shoulda been you, Davante
THIS (but have accepted my inevitable hiding at this point b/c I suck at everything in life)
TirerodDown!!!
Best QB of all-time, y’all. Gay, straight, bi, whatevs. He blows ’em all…AWAY
I read that as “He blows ’em all…ANYWAY”
also works. It’s his right as an entertainer. 😀
A.A.Ron can not be allowed to enter the postseason
Questionable JuJu hamstring, or Robert Woods booboo shoulder just back from IR on the road in Seattle?
Decision time is looming.
Fortunately (or unfortunately) I don’t think it matters either way.
Robert Woods
agreed
Also how I’ve been leaning, but I hate to miss out on saying JuJu later.
🙂
Ertz’s me again Foles.
Bengals are about to enter a dark timeline.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/marvin-lewis-out-here-are-five-candidates-bengals-should-look-at-to-replace-him/
thats good hustle
Its going to be Hue.
That would be the most moronic thing possible…
As long as they don’t hire anyone who’s coached the Bears recently they’ll probably be fine
fuck you Elisha, that ErtzDOWN is my death
ZACK ERTZ BAY BAY
Damit. I should have started Keenum over Cam Newton.
grrrrrrrr…….
Keystone Kops action at Redacteds Field
DARBY SIGHTING
Eli tried to get Philly back into the game-DarkWing was having none of that.
/Eli throws a pick as I type
//FUCK!!!
? Hello, Darkness, my old friend ?
Ive come to talk with you again.
There’s a Bengal choke job creeeeeepin
Hopkins garbage time would be nice, guys
So Wentz’s knee burned out and now the Eagles will fade away?
NFL red zone is trying to make me think Yo Gabbert Gabbert is cromulent. Say it ain’t so.
You were saying?
Faith restored
Not after that pick.
The jury has delivered its verdict: Modelo is very good at its price point. Kudos to Dok and Seamus.
You get the Especial or the Negra?
Especial.
They’re both pretty decent, although I usually get the Negra when it’s available.
Do y’all sports betting types keep a spreadsheet or sommat to track your results?
Hell no.
That would be depressing.
that’s the kinda thing makes one quit
/but I have a mind for numbers, know exactly what I’ve put in and can sense trends (maths intuition)
It’s true. If you wanna place a bet, the smart money says follow teh Hippo.
(seriously…dude is a savant)
Los Gigantes!!
WENTZ WOULD HAVE HAD JESUS HELP PICK UP THAT FIRST
yeah, I wonder what huddle JEEBUS sits in now?
Kirk is pretty Jeebusy
ELITE KEEPER
Who does more check downs this game…Flacco or Kizer?
Why do I do this?
Less obvious scars than cutting yourself?
You know how the week after you lose in fantasy playoffs all your players go off and you realize you woulda crushed it? That’s not happening to me.
Odd Week Jaguras, y’all
You can’t see me flipping you off right now, but I’m totally flipping you off right now.
LOL, in truth, as we discussed briefly last night, the 2bills at +450 bothers me not at all.
Houston not scoring and fucking me over vs Jax D…yeah, I’m pissed.
So in summation….flipping you off.
😛
We TRIED to talk you the fuck out of it…
+450 was worth the risk.
I ended up moneylining Yinzers btw, not ATS.
might as well, at +3
You said you got -2.5 IIRC?
Yup, and w/o extra juice
Yeah, if the Savage concussions could score a little, that would help me a lot too
A few more scores from Adams and Brees and I might withstand the March of Foles!
Long Live Zombie McCoy!
hard not to love that guy
Unless you’re a racist coach from Oregon
Nice jorb Alvin.
Too little too late, but nice jorb.
Lesean is Undead!
and gets a TD!!!!!!!!!!!
Shady is alive again, which is nice for those of us rooting against Shitty Clippers backing into 6th seed.
whatttttttt Brownies score TD???? oh my
Brownses do a good1!
#ThePauls!!! #Strive4One lives on!!
ut oh, shady mccoy be hurting……..
Those of us who bet on BUF (well, against Catler in the elements) NO SMIRE
Ruh Roh, Shady is ded?
he was already on Buffalo. I guess this is now official.
Oh FFS Houston. Jax D now with 20 pts.
20 fucking points.
Good luck next week Beastie. Thanks for handing me yet another humbling defeat.
OVERTURNED
Yeah well…still ain’t matter.
Looks like the brownies r moving the ball well……..
I am so glad I don’t live in the Midwest anymore
Eat it Rodgers.
eh, it was a fine arm punt
/also I appreciate him getting the ball to Davante at all costs
Help me, Breesus, your my only hope
#JewsFOARBreesus
That’s the good stuff right there.