Your “Can You Feel The Excitement!?” Sunday Afternoon NFL Open Thread

It’s the day before Christmas and lives hang in the balance-well, fantasy lives anyway. Best of luck to all you bastages that made it this far and will win some sweet, sweet moolah. The rest of us will hustle and bustle about, searching desperately for some place, any place that sells Modelo. I don’t care what the price is, I MUST HAVE IT! What’s that? It’s very affordable, perhaps even ‘cheap’? Well, then… I guess I’ll just have to pick up the last bit of things required to feed a ravenous in-law crew of eighteen or so. Who counts nowadays? After I’ve rolled the last morbidly obese faux-uncle out the door, washed the mashed potatoes off the wall and checked my billfold for the third time you can bet that I’m headed… TO THE GAMES!

Buffalo/New England:

The Bills are 10 point dogs but Hippo is taking them because he expects that this’ll be a defensive tussle. Wr Benjamin is back from his torn meniscus while rb White and wr Hogan are out for the Patties.

Denver/Washington:

Qb Cousins is donning his best dress pants/shiniest tiara for his audition for the starting job that the Broncos might offer this coming off-season. The Dacted’s are all set at the rb spot with the Loud Cough/Short Circuit duo of Perine and Bibbs.

Cleveland/Chicago:

A certain TruthBiscuit was asked what it was like growing up just 25 miles (that’s 40 kilometers to the rest of the world, btw) from Cleveland and cheering for the Browns. His reply?-“I don’t really remember and I’m pleading the fifth just in case.” Here’s yet another chance for the Winless Wonders to remove the blemish from their record and grab that Brown (ewww!) ring.

Tampa Bay/Arizona:

The Panthers have won 6 of their last 7 and have run down the Saints at the top of the division. Them Bucs are little more than cannon fodder at the moment.

L.A. Clippers/New York Jets:

The combinations and permutations are many but at 7-7 the LawnClippers must win out in order to squelch into the post-season. The Jetskis have won 4 of their 5 total V’s at home.

Miami/Kansas City:

In true Fins fashion, (“called it”) they followed up their possibly season-changing upset of the Pats with some quality fall-on-their-collective-faces action versus the Bills. This is where the Chiefs slam the hell out of that toe wedged in the playoff doorway.

Atlanta/New Orleans:

Three playoff squadoos are coming out the NFC South so this tilt comes down to who wants at least one home game in January more than t’udder.

Detroit/Cincinnati: 

The Lions thin hopes are dependent on either of Carolina or New Orleans dropping their last two games. Good luck with that.

L.A. Rams/Tennessee:

The Rams have done the work earlier in the season and now have it relatively easy-peasy. All they have to do to take the division is win one of their last two. The Titans look  good on paper at 8-6 but they’ve stumbled in their last two against the cards and the Niners. Still, they’re 5-1 at home.

Do yer jerb, sofa kings/queens.

 

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Moose -The End Is Well NighInanimate Carbon Rod MarinelliDoktor Zymmbk109Petronel Recent comment authors
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So, I don’t think it’s been mentioned here, but holy hell I want to see Vince McMahon revive the XFL and try to market it as the No Kneel League.

Petronel

Dayum, JerrahWorld. Still impressive.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Happy McVay is happy!
kind of want to hear that post game talk by coach McVay. should hopefully be some good sound…..

Doktor Zymm

Right. So here’s a thing I haven’t said in a while, ‘Go SeaTruthers!’

King Hippo

Remember when I asked for a 27-23 RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! win? At least I gots that.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Have you ever gone gift shopping and bought more gifts for yourself than for others? I did that today. It’s still “giving” so I’m OK with it I guess.

King Hippo

Learning to looooooooove yourself, it is the greatest gift of all

bk109
bk109

Oh, I know what’s next on your x-mas playlist :p (also congrats on the Chelsea game!)

King Hippo

Thanks but I do not recognize anything with that corrupt arsehole Fat Sam in the manager’s chair. Temporarily ded to me.

bk109
bk109

It can be more than temporary – there’s no court in the land that’d convict you XD

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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bk109
bk109

So, Josh Rosen’s already scared that he’ll end up with the Browns… Poor guy, it’s like (career) death row… but Cleveland-y!

Doktor Zymm

The Brown Mile

bk109
bk109

Rated R for “Ruh,roh, Shaggy?!”

rockingdog
rockingdog

alright.
I picked up Keelan Cole. curious if Jax QB Bortles can make this happen….. they should rite?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Many BortlesDowns would make tWBS happy.

Gratliff

I really love the epic collapse of the Niners tank job.

Doktor Zymm

It wasn’t a conscious tank, that’s the problem. All the fans are super happy about their wins and are talking about how fun they are to watch now

King Hippo

and they no need a QB, so it’s not as big a deal to slip a few slots in the 1st

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Doktor Zymm

Yep, I won’t miss living near TBOX

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“SantaCon or TBOX” is my favorite game.

rockingdog
rockingdog

wats TBOX?

bk109
bk109

Either that multi-platform C library, or the epic Chicago bar crawl?

...

Twelve Bars of Christmas.

It’s an annual bar crawl in Chicago’s Wrigleyville that happens each December. It starts in the morning and draws out a truly diverse crowd of people who want to get shitfaced in seasonal attire by mid-afternoon.

...

It’s also more like 40 bars than 12 now, but originally the name was accurate.

bk109
bk109

Surely after like the 8th you stopped giving a shit (or outright ability) to count bars?

...

Basically.

Doktor Zymm

People pregame. They’re lucky if they make it to 4

Doktor Zymm

Twelve bars of xmas. Bar crawl by wrigley

Doktor Zymm

Thats in NYC, you can tell by the sidewalk, so this one is santacon, but six of one, half a dozen of the other…

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That’s what makes the game so fun!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That last candy-cane…..

Fronkenshteen

I wonder who mows Julius Peppers hair?

Spur
Spur

Winston has started a one man riot.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hide the women.

Fronkenshteen

Looks like a man who handles being told “no” calmly. That woman must’ve been terrified.

Gratliff

Ol’ Rapey McCrabLegs is losing his shit

Petronel

Seriously – shit well and truly lost.

King Hippo

but esoterically – can one lose what one never had?

Spur
Spur

Next week. Panthers and Falcons is going to be a war. Let’s go Panthers!

rockingdog
rockingdog

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that should be some must watch stuff…

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Congrats to the AFC North Champion Chicago Bears!

Fronkenshteen

Who is more self-possessed: Trump or Cam?

rockingdog
rockingdog

thats a tough one……

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

rockingdog
rockingdog

sigh. thank you Cam!

Spur
Spur

Where’s Redshirt?

Gratliff

I appreciate the contenders just giving up this week. Makes it easier going forward.

Spur
Spur

YES! TD CINCY!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit….Baby Buster does remember Woods is on the team.
It’s a Christmas fucking miracle!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I go away for a bit to finalize NYE plans and I come back to find everyone complaining that shitty teams be shitty? Yep, that’s NFLing

Spur
Spur

Cam got lucky.

King Hippo

fucking Cam, man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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clint greasewood
clint greasewood

New England is now Hoyer Country.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Cam and the panthers are being a TEASE!!!!

King Hippo

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Small brain: Santa is a fat white man

Regular brain: Santa is actually based on the real Saint Nicholas

Big brain: Santa is just a myth to promote consumerism.

Galaxy brain:
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Gratliff

Would

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Santa definitely has a gift in mind for that nice woman sitting next to him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s coming down the chimney?

Gratliff

That’s one way to put out the fire

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Milk ‘n’ cookies await.

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Also: Me too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Santa stripper!! Make it RAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!

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You may think that’s Megyn Kelly stuffing a twenty in his belt, but I assure you it can’t be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If no one was looking; she’d do some c-notes.

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She’s most definitely never has and never will know that Blacked Raw exists.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m not so sure; behind the curtain and all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Throw it to Funchess you asshole!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or not.

King Hippo

goddamnit Tampa redux

Gratliff

I have spent more money on Christmas gifts than I ever have, and the pile is the smallest it’s ever been. Technology was a mistake.

King Hippo

c’mon, MRSA defense!!!

King Hippo

Bucs need to call timeouts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Go to their room with no electronics; twenty minutes!

Romonobyl

Lots to do today therefor I can’t play here too much, so I’ll keep it brief:

Fuck the Patriots.

That is all, do carry on…

rockingdog
rockingdog

Bye dude!

King Hippo

goddamnit Tampa

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

Beastmode has me beat in DFO, tis fine. JUST NEED money league and MONEYLINE BUCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

I too tasted the commish’s blade last week.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In the late season underachiever’s 5th place game, ShogunMarcus is about to over take me methinks. But we’re both underachieving again this week, so it’s kinda apropos.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Is Cam Newton elite? Can he get this come from behind victory?

Spur
Spur

yes, Cincy is in good shape here.

King Hippo

Stupid Bucs

Gratliff

Oh Lions

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t seen the “what’s a computer” ad today. It’s a Christmas miracle!

Spur
Spur

with Apple Barb

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